Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Movin' on up

To a smart phone! I've been using the LG Lotus for a long while now. Prior to that I had regular old flip phones. At least the Lotus has a qwerty keyboard. I've been doing just fine with these phones, but I think it's time to move up to a smart phone. So, I've taken the plunge and I'm going big! Joe got me an iPhone for Christmas.

Honestly, I've really had no desire to get a smart phone. Joe uses one and I just can't stand it. It's so complicated and there's so many more steps to do simple functions like making a call and sending a text. Plus I have fat fingers so using the touch screen to type is a big pain in the ass. Everyone who uses a smart phone says you get used to it. Hopefully I'll get used to it sooner rather than later.

I know, I know, I sound like a whiny old fuddy-duddy who can't move forward with technology. But it's not that I can't move forward with technology, it's that I've never felt the need to do more with my phone than make/receive calls and texts. It wasn't until recently that I've had a need to check my email from my phone. I can check it from my Lotus, but it's a very time consuming process and the screen is very small, making a lot of it limited.

So, the iPhone arrives tonight. I'm so stoked to play around with it and familiarize myself with all of the functions. Joe says the iPhone will be less complicated than his phone. God I hope so!

Anyway, Christmas was great! Ethan is getting harder to surprise and I really like surprising him with the gifts he gets. Unfortunately, that usually involves some sort of lie. I don't like lying to him, but he understands that they're not hurtful lies. They're little lies so he will be surprised. He knows how much it means to me for him to be surprised. That look on his face when he is truly surprised is the best gift I can get for Christmas. This year we definitely accomplished that true surprise and it was awesome!

Ethan had asked me a couple weeks ago what my favorite perfume is. It is J'adore by Christian Dior. I thought he was just asking because he was curious. Ethan asks a LOT of questions without motive other than being curious. To my surprise on Christmas, I opened a box from him with a bottle of J'adore in it. He had saved up his own money and bought it himself.

He wanted so badly to buy this for me with his own money, I was told. That shit isn't cheap! It warmed my heart that he used the last of his money to buy me a Christmas present because HE wanted to. I was also really surprised that he remembered the name of the perfume. It's not an easy name to remember.

I hope each of you had a wonderful Christmas and have an awesome New Year!

Deep Throat of the Day: Please tell me I'm not the only one still using a flip phone!

Friday, November 18, 2011


So I'm on Facebook when I come across this status update: (copy & pasted as is)
"ok its almost deceember shewww time flys when ur havn fun lmao just found out the 2 most beautiful woman in my family are gonna plan my baby shower for febuary yayyy so excited and thanks 2 my bff for finding out where tons of noahs arc baby stuff is love u myra =) now gotta get addresses and figure out who im inviting so excdited =)"

This type of word butchery is routine for her. It drives me up a wall, really. However, I found it rather comical that the first comment of said status update was from her, making a correction:
"*excited lol"

Yes, because out of all the words she misspelled, lack of punctuation, lack of capitalization, etc. excited is the one she just had to make sure was correct.

I'm fortunate to have the majority of my friends on Facebook write properly. They'll form complete sentences, spell out the words you/your/to/the (rather than u/ur/2/da), and generally write like grown people should. I'm far from perfect when it comes to writing, but I don't, under any circumstances write like the woman above or another friend of mine on Facebook:
"so....this ankle thing is plucking my last nerve lls why i go 4 dr appt he tells me i need xray n now i have a stress brake on top my foot lmao doctors theses days woooow so now i have had 2 broken bones in foot n never had a cast now wat is wrong here no wonder i cnt get better bad day goin 2 bed . Oh but got hair cut by liza n it looks so good thanxs gurl =)"

Both of these women are adults. Women in their 30's, writing like this on Facebook. Maybe I'm an asshole but I just feel this is completely unacceptable. Wat? Really? She couldn't put in one more fucking letter to spell it properly? Yet she could spell out the whole word wonder?

Do they think it makes them look cool to write this way? Because I just don't understand WHY anyone would go through the trouble and effort to purposely write like an idiot. And it is trouble and effort if you think about it. It takes more effort mentally to intentionally misspell words than it does to spell them correctly. Well, it does for me anyway. Maybe with some practice I could get good at writing like an idiot, but why would I want to do that?

Am I just being an old fuddy-duddy over this shit?

Deep Throat of the Day: Would I be a dick to defriend them just because they write like idiots?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Give me a f'ing break!

Yesterday morning, my oh so cute dog, Bailey, decided she was going to eat something she shouldn't be eating. When I tried to get it out of her mouth, she ran away from me and jumped over the couch. I ran around the couch because trying to jump over it would have been a disaster and comical. The door to the large dog crate was open, but I didn't see it because it was dark. So while running I tripped over the crate door, some how cutting my finger and shoulder and scraping my knee. Then I slammed my face into the end table. The disaster was inevitable apparently.

After this happened, she decided to bark at me, getting all excited, and then head-butted me in my nose. Meanwhile Scotty, our "good dog" was laying next to me on the floor because I was sobbing like a baby from the intense pain on the left side of my face. I hadn't even realized that I cut my finger and shoulder.

All of this was after she woke up 45 minutes prior to the alarm clock going off.

She is so, so lucky I love her, that little bitch.

Deep Throat of the Day: Maybe she's like the dog version of Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone and set that shit up perfectly, like a trap? Sneaky dog.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011


I'm convinced that technology is causing people to lose their damn minds. Well, at least the part of their minds that control their ability to know the appropriate way to deliver certain information to others. Let me give you an example. My Aunt Linda posted the following, word for word, on my Facebook wall:
"April your grandmother past away this evening Oct 8th at 10:13 PM. Beverly and I were with her. She past peacefully."

Keep in mind, this WAS my notification of my grandmother passing away. And it wasn't until I saw a text message from a friend saying, "I'm sorry to hear about your grandma" that I even realized something had happened because I hadn't checked my Facebook yet.

Then a week or so ago I received a text message from my little sister letting me know she's getting married....THAT DAY!

Now, I have no issues with technology. I think it's brought us to places we've never thought possible and will continue to bring us places we can only dream of. However, there are just some things that are personal and should be shared on the most personal level possible. A grandparent passing and a sibling marrying are 2 of them, in my opinion. I feel that both my aunt and my sister should have picked up the phone and called to deliver their news to me since they couldn't have delivered it in person.

Am I wrong for feeling that way?

Deep Throat of the Day: The Packers are still undefeated! 9-0! Woo Hoo! Not much of a deep throat but it makes me happy.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Babies are not miracles

Miracle: [mir-uh-kuhl] noun
1. A surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is considered to be divine.
2. A highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment.

Note: I'm aware that babies are made through artificial insemination and ivf and that many people struggle with infertility. I have not included these techniques or situations in what I'm about to write merely for simplicity. But please know that I'm not trying to lessen their experiences or take anything away from them.

Having a baby and being a parent is a very rewarding experience for most people. Life changing, even. However, anyone who has taken their most basic 5th grade Health class knows how babies are made. It is definitively explained by science. It is NOT a miracle.

According to the United States Census Bureau, for 2010 there is an estimated 361,481 babies born each day all over the world. Every minute in 2010 there were approximately 251 babies born. That certainly disqualifies it for an extraordinary event and is NOT a miracle.

I am just so tired of reading on Facebook, "My daughter is truly a miracle from God." and similar sentences. There was one this morning that said, "25 years ago today God made me a mother for the first time! Happy birthday son!"

For me this is not about a disbelief in God, because that's not case. (I'm unsure what I believe) This is about the proven human reproductive system and taking responsibility for your actions. You had sex. Sex makes babies. Having a baby makes you a parent. Now, I know it doesn't sound great to say, "25 years ago today, unprotected sex made me a mother for the first time!" But that's the reality of it. And that reality is, IT'S NOT A FUCKING MIRACLE! When you have millions of babies and parents on this planet, it's not a fucking miracle by any definition.

Deep Throat of the Day: I don't want this to turn into a debate about whether or not God gives us free will, so please don't bring it up. Because even if there is a God, and he doesn't give us free will, babies still aren't a miracle.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Keeping it real

I am really wanting to fully understand and educate myself more on politics. I've realized that what I thought I knew, really wasn't shit. But I also realized that there really isn't anywhere on this damn internet to find unbiased information. Even websites like the Washington Post and New York Times are slanted to the left. At the same time, I don't want to read anything slanted to the right, either. I want to read facts and form my own opinion without any of these sites trying to sway me. (which they won't, but I digress.)

It's the same thing with television. Every political channel or show is either left or right, regardless of whether they claim to be unbiased or not.

But maybe I'm missing something? There HAS to be SOMEWHERE that I can get FACTS that doesn't have opinion scattered in, right? I should surely be able to find information that isn't manipulated to appear a certain way, right? There are studies out there that aren't funded by some rich liberal or conservative, right? Studies that just show the pure, cold, hard facts with a clear, concise objective and method, right?

Maybe there isn't. If there is, please tell me where to find it. Because I'm so, so tired of reading so much conflicting information. And I'm sick of reading opinions in places where I should be reading FACTS.

Listen, I'm not saying that there isn't legitimate information on these left or right leaning sites and tv stations. I'm just saying that I don't want to get my information from them. I don't want to get my information from anywhere that has a stake in any political party, even remotely. Maybe that sounds naive, but that's how I feel.

Also, I've been doing a lot of reading into the Occupy Wall Street protests. Until I read more and form a complete, educated opinion I'm only going to say this..

Deep Throat of the Day: a Port-A-Potty is not a basic human right, especially when you're protesting.

Monday, September 26, 2011


Last Thursday was back to school night for parents. I was given a copy of Ethan's schedule and spent 10 minutes in each of his classes, starting with 1st period. Everything went smoothly. As usual, I had a couple of people ask me, "Are you Ethan's mom?" When I said yes, they replied, "He looks just like you."

When I got to his gym class, I was a little surprised. The 2 P.E. teachers were morbidly obese. I don't have an issue with teachers being morbidly obese, I have an issue with Physical Education teachers being morbidly obese. I feel that they're not setting a proper example for what they're trying to teach. They teach physical fitness, the importance of being active and healthy, and there's even a week where they talk about eating healthy. I feel that if you're teaching kids all of that, you should be a good example of what you're teaching. I'm not saying they aren't great teachers, as I'm sure they are. I'm just saying I feel the kids would take them and what they're teaching more seriously, if they fit the image of what they're teaching.

The other issue I had was something that the P.E. teacher said. They were showing us a slide show of what's covered in their class. One of the things was body composition. The teacher said that they do not go into detail with body composition anymore because they don't want kids to feel bad about their bodies. Now, I'm all for kids having a high self-esteem, but as far as I'm concerned, they NEED to be taught about healthy body composition. Is there not a way to teach this without making kids feel bad about themselves? To me, this is not the same as the media pressuring girls to be extremely thin or boys to be muscle-heads.

When trying to find more details about teaching body composition in schools, I found the FitnessGram website. Under the FAQ I found this:
Some teachers and parents express concern that assessments of body composition (or weight status) will make a child overly concerned about their body and lead to eating disorders. There is no research evidence suggesting that this likely to occur. On the other hand, lack of knowledge about body composition and the lack of appropriate perceptions of body image may be greater contributors to the development of eating disorders.

Body composition testing (particularly skinfold testing) offers an opportunity for teachers to deal with the cultural obsessions with thinness and body image that prevail in our society. The teacher can set a tone of acceptance for different body types and acknowledge the important genetic contribution to obesity. With greater tolerance for variation in fitness levels, children can better determine the relation of their body composition to health without fear of ridicule. Avoiding the use of body composition assessment does nothing to counter the perceived cultural pressure to be thin or the tendency of many children to become obese as adults.

Using FITNESSGRAM can help young children set realistic standards for their body fatness and avoid the overemphasis on leanness that is often displayed by our culture.

Seems to me like body composition would be the opposite of giving kids a low self-esteem.

But, I guess this is similar to what I wrote about here. It's more coddling children bullshit, not wanting their feelings hurt. I think it's wrong! I think it is wrong that there have been so many changes in public schools due to parents not wanting their kids to have hurt feelings. I think it's wrong that schools are complying with these complaining parents. I think it's wrong to not teach children that you have to work for things in life. You have to work to be healthy. You have to work to get good grades. You have to work to be good in school. You have to work to win games. You have to work to make money so you can afford have a roof over your head and food in your mouth.

I truly believe that kids need to learn these things because these things help them with real life. In real life your feelings DO get hurt. And they'll need to learn how to handle their hurt feelings in a healthy way. Just like they need to learn how to handle their body and body image in a healthy way.

Deep Throat of the Day: Having a morbidly obese P.E. teacher is like having a Nutritionist with an office full of Ho-Ho's and Twinkies telling you to eat fruits and veggies.