Dumping It Here Daily  Name: April From:: Northern Virginia
Shit About Me I'm a 29 y/o woman with a whole lot of shit to say about a whole lot of nothin'. View my complete profile
Recent Shit Funny Bitch It's a boy What the...... Choose your words wisely UGH!!!!! Oh, my boy! 3 to the 0!! Men, football, and other shit All right all ready I know, I know
Old Shit September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008
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5.06.2008Funny BitchIn October 2006, my office got new billing software and any balances transfered from the old software were dated 12/1/05. Well there's a particular patient who had a balance in our old system and his statement simply reads: 12/1/05 - Patient Owes $308. This guy has been getting statements like this for months and months and we've not heard anything from him until today. He returned the statement with a note in red writing, "I did not live in this area during this time and would not have had any services from this office." This response would've been normal had him and I not talked about his insurance not covering his bills when he was being seen here and that ultimately he would be responsible for the balance. So he was well aware of the fact that he owes us money. Maybe not for 12/1/05, but still, he's knows he owes. So anyway, I opened up a blank word document to start a letter to him and then decided that I was going to lunch first. While I was gone, my coworker took it upon herself to help me out and finish the letter for me. This is what she wrote: Dear Mr. Dead Beat, We have received your note regarding not being in this area in December, 2005. The computer accounting system we put into place last year backdated all prior uncollected balances to the date of 12-01-05, regardless of actual date of service. We apologize for any confusion this has caused you. However, since you obviously received our statement of April 18, 2008, it is very likely that you received the dozens of statements we sent you prior to that regarding your old balance from May 2006, which remains unpaid largely because you are probably one cheapass motherfucker who doesn’t think he’s obligated to pay his bills and can just ignore them or act like some dumbass fuckin retard. Did you think we wouldn’t know that your bill is from 2006 even though the date on this one statement says 2005, motherfucker?? This is not some fuckin automated thing, dumbass. We use real fuckin people to do our billing shit and we look at each fuckin account. We don’t let an account slide by just because the patient is fuckin nitpicky about dates and shit. I don’t fuckin care where you lived when. You fuckin owe the fuckin bill. Now fuckin pay it, you ignorant ugly motherfucker. Of course, if you have already remitted your payment, please disregard this billing, with our thanks. Sincerely, One Legged Bitch Deep Throat of the Day: Never hatch your chickens before you count them. Leave your shit here,9 others did. 4.17.2008It's a boyThe ex and his girlfriend had their baby yesterday. A little boy named Samuel Alexander. He is such a cute little guy with peach fuzz blonde hair and blue eyes. Ethan is just as excited as can be to be a big brother. Even more excited that it's a boy. He was really hoping not to get a sister. Anyway, Ethan and I went to visit them in the hospital and I was completely shocked to see this sign behind the door.  The small print goes on to say something like shaking the baby can cause the same amount of damage as dropping them on the floor. Holy shit! I don't know about you, but I was amazed that they would even think to put a sign like that behind every door of the birthing suites. Do people actually pop kids out and immediately start shaking them like crazy? I would think that someone had to shake a baby for them to put a sign like that up. So I asked the nurse. NO. No one shook any babies in that hospital that she knows of. They put the signs up as a precaution. A precaution? What the fuck? I cannot believe that it needs to be said, in a sign behind the door, not to shake the baby. Wow. I'm just speechless. Deep Throat of the Day: Don't shake any babies, dammit! Leave your shit here,9 others did. 3.25.2008What the......My commute is about an hour each way. Sometimes, I have to stop to use the restroom before I get to work and I blame this on my addiction to MickeyD's sweet tea. Anyway, I ran into a gas station because I had to pee, and this is what I saw in the bathroom...  Yes, that is shit smeared across the toilet seat. How the fuck does this happen? And why are some people so fucking inconsiderate that they don't even clean up after themselves? FUCKING DISGUSTING! My date went really well last weekend and Friday he sent me a beautiful bouquet of flowers to work. I was a happy bitch! Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well! Deep Throat of the Day: Do people save their nose picking for when they're in the car? Leave your shit here,10 others did. 3.18.2008Choose your words wiselySo a patient at work thought I would be a perfect match for his friend, Joe. According to him I'm "the female counterpart" to this guy. So I agree to meet him under one condition....I wanted to talk with him on the phone before we met so I would know if it would be a bearable situation for me. Joe calls, we were laughing, carrying on and generally having what I would consider a wonderful conversation. Some where during the conversation he realizes how perfect I am (I think we were in a heated discussion about football which automatically makes me perfect to *most* men) anyway he says... Him: "Wow, you sound like the perfect woman. You're not going to show up on our date with one leg or some shit, are you?" Now for those of you who know that I really do only have one leg, you're laughing your asses off right now. For those of you who don't...you can see the humor in that, right? So I'm now cracking the fuck up!! Me: "Would it be bad if I did?" Him: "Well it would be one hell of a shocker if you got out of your car and started hopping towards me." Me: "But what if I got out of my car and started walking towards you with a prosthetic?" Him: "I don't know, why are you asking me that?" Me: "Because that's exactly what I'm going to do!" Him: "Shut the fuck up!! You're just messing with me!" Me: "No, I'm being serious. I was in a car accident and had to have my right foot amputated." Him: "You're not joking, are you?" Me: "Nope." Him: "Oh God, now I feel like such a fucking asshole!" Me: "Don't worry about it, how could you have known?" So we still went on our date and we had a really really good time. And....we're going out again this Saturday! Deep Throat of the Day: Of all the ailments he could've chosen, he had to go with the one leg bit. That's my luck! Leave your shit here,13 others did. 3.04.2008UGH!!!!!WORST DAY EVER!!!!!!! Leave your shit here,6 others did. 2.26.2008Oh, my boy!It's been a while since I've posted a funny Ethan story. Not because there's a lack of material, but because I'm just a slacker with my blog. Saturday night Ethan went to the mall with my little sister, Casey, and her boyfriend, Jason. Casey decided that she wanted to go to Victoria's Secret. Apparently Ethan didn't care for going into the store so he looked at Jason and said, "We should leave her here and go do something manly." Jason just laughed and said, "I know, but sometimes you just have to do what your girlfriend wants." What Casey told me after that little comment, made me thank my lucky stars that I wasn't there because I would've won the shittiest mother of the year award. Casey was looking at some panties and Ethan said in a not so quiet voice, "My mom has those same panties, but in black." Then there was a mannequin wearing a lingerie combo and Ethan yelled across the store, "Hey Casey, my mom has this same thing! I think my dad bought it for her a long time ago!" Yeah, that's embarrassing. You're probably wondering how my son knows about my panties and lingerie. Well, he's nosy. Bottom line. No, he's never seen me in any lingerie. He's just really really nosy and has gone through my drawers. Which is exactly the reason why I stopped keeping my toys in them. Anyway, I hope y'all have been doing really well! Deep Throat of the Day: I know your secret, Victoria! Leave your shit here,7 others did. 2.13.20083 to the 0!!Every year when I have a birthday, I never really *feel* older. This year is an exception. Today, my 30th birthday, I feel older. Good bye 20's!! I'll miss you so.  Leave your shit here,12 others did. |