Last week Ethan brought a paper home from school, inviting parents to eat a Thanksgiving lunch with their kids. I asked Ethan if he wanted me to go, since he's getting to that age when having your parents around isn't cool. He said, "That's OK, Mom. You don't have to." Which REALLY means, "Um, HELL NO! I don't want my mom all up in my shit, cramping my style."
Fast forward to today. At approximately 10:55 this morning, Ethan called me at work. Immediately bad thoughts went through my mind because it's never good when you get a phone call from the school.
Me: "Hello?"
Ethan: "Hey Mommy."
Me: "Hey Bud, is everything OK?"
Ethan: "Yeah, don't worry. Today is the Thanksgiving lunch. Are you going to come?"
Me: "I thought you didn't want me to?"
Ethan: "Well you can come if you want."
Me: "I'm only going to come if you want me there."
Ethan: "I'd like it if you did."
AWWWWWWWWW. Make my heart melt! My boy still wants his Mommy to have lunch with him. He just made my whole week and he doesn't even know it! I even got a hug and kiss on the cheek!!!! I'm the luckiest woman in the world!!!
Deep Throat of the Day: Momma's don't let your babies grow up to be assholes.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Expectations: Men vs. Women
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever been given was: Never expect anything because you'll only set yourself up for disappointment. Now, of course that advice doesn't apply to everything because sometimes expectations are needed. But sometimes in relationships that advice is true.
Ladies, have you ever played out a scenario in your head only to have it not go as planned? Or have you ever expected a certain reaction to something and got a completely different reaction? In either situation did you find yourself disappointed or maybe even upset with your significant other? Maybe not ALL women do this, but a lot of women I know do, including myself sometimes.
The reason why that piece of advice seems to ring true in many cases is because a situation gets blown up like a gigantic balloon in our heads. We usually keep it to ourselves or share it with our girlfriends and when it doesn't go as planned, that balloon gets blown up like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghost Busters. The situation may not have gone wrong, but it didn't go EXACTLY as you had planned it in your head.
The problem with doing this is that the other person isn't a mind reader. He doesn't know what your expectations are. And you're certainly NOT going to tell him, because you want his genuine reaction. The reaction wouldn't be genuine if you TOLD him what you were planning in your head, right? But then if his genuine reaction is even slightly less or completely different than what you'd expected, you're disappointed and possibly even mad at him.
I don't know why, but it seems that this is only true for women. If men do this, I've not come across one who has admitted it.
So tell me guys, do you do this or do your s/o's do this? And ladies, feel free to add to this discussion as well.
Deep Throat of the Day: BLAH!
Ladies, have you ever played out a scenario in your head only to have it not go as planned? Or have you ever expected a certain reaction to something and got a completely different reaction? In either situation did you find yourself disappointed or maybe even upset with your significant other? Maybe not ALL women do this, but a lot of women I know do, including myself sometimes.
The reason why that piece of advice seems to ring true in many cases is because a situation gets blown up like a gigantic balloon in our heads. We usually keep it to ourselves or share it with our girlfriends and when it doesn't go as planned, that balloon gets blown up like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in Ghost Busters. The situation may not have gone wrong, but it didn't go EXACTLY as you had planned it in your head.
The problem with doing this is that the other person isn't a mind reader. He doesn't know what your expectations are. And you're certainly NOT going to tell him, because you want his genuine reaction. The reaction wouldn't be genuine if you TOLD him what you were planning in your head, right? But then if his genuine reaction is even slightly less or completely different than what you'd expected, you're disappointed and possibly even mad at him.
I don't know why, but it seems that this is only true for women. If men do this, I've not come across one who has admitted it.
So tell me guys, do you do this or do your s/o's do this? And ladies, feel free to add to this discussion as well.
Deep Throat of the Day: BLAH!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Let's make sexy time
I was given the opportunity to review the Wireless Techno Arouser which is a vibrating penis ring. And if you guys have been reading this blog for a while, you know I LOOOVE me some vibrating cock rings that offer clitoral stimulation!
THIS, my friends, is the Wireless Techno Lover. Please note the Wireless part of the title. (YAY for no wires!) It's made of phthalates free TPR silicone/jelly, which means that it should be used with a water based lube. It's also very easy to clean. A little bit of soap (or toy cleaner) and warm water and you're good to go. There's also little nubby things on the top to help with stimulation. (AMEN for nubby things!)
Here is the watch battery and the bullet-like object. It's easy to put these together. You simply put the watch battery into the bullet and screw the top on. The screw top is what makes it turn on and off. Screwed in all the way turns it on. Unscrew it a little and it turns off.
Once you have the vibrating mechanism assembled, you insert it into the hole on the top portion of the back side. Then you place the little plug, as shown next to the toy, into the hole. This protects the vibrating mechanism from any lube or juices getting inside. Because it's encased within the toy, the noise level is very quiet.
As you can see, it's VERY stretchy and should comfortably fit most cocks. Joe had no complaints concerning the fit. He also said that the vibration offered some stimulation for him, too.
What I like the most about this toy over other cock rings that are supposed to offer clitoral stimulation is the size. Most other cock rings only have something small that vibrates and it sits closer to the base of the penis. This, as you can see, has a much larger surface area that sits several inches above the base of the penis. This means that there's less time spent trying to position my clit right on the vibration. I can hop on top and it will hit the toy every time I bring my hips down onto him or vice versa.
OR you can put it on your favorite toy. Whether it's on a toy or on a penis, it's definitely the best cock ring I've ever used because of it's ease to stimulate my clit. I absolutely LOVE my clit being stimulated simultaneously with my G spot.
This is by far the BEST vibrating cock ring I've ever tried. If you want to get one of your own GO HERE NOW. I would also like to thank Eden Fantasys for giving me the opportunity to review this amazing piece of vibrating silicone!
THIS, my friends, is the Wireless Techno Lover. Please note the Wireless part of the title. (YAY for no wires!) It's made of phthalates free TPR silicone/jelly, which means that it should be used with a water based lube. It's also very easy to clean. A little bit of soap (or toy cleaner) and warm water and you're good to go. There's also little nubby things on the top to help with stimulation. (AMEN for nubby things!)
Here is the watch battery and the bullet-like object. It's easy to put these together. You simply put the watch battery into the bullet and screw the top on. The screw top is what makes it turn on and off. Screwed in all the way turns it on. Unscrew it a little and it turns off.
Once you have the vibrating mechanism assembled, you insert it into the hole on the top portion of the back side. Then you place the little plug, as shown next to the toy, into the hole. This protects the vibrating mechanism from any lube or juices getting inside. Because it's encased within the toy, the noise level is very quiet.
As you can see, it's VERY stretchy and should comfortably fit most cocks. Joe had no complaints concerning the fit. He also said that the vibration offered some stimulation for him, too.
What I like the most about this toy over other cock rings that are supposed to offer clitoral stimulation is the size. Most other cock rings only have something small that vibrates and it sits closer to the base of the penis. This, as you can see, has a much larger surface area that sits several inches above the base of the penis. This means that there's less time spent trying to position my clit right on the vibration. I can hop on top and it will hit the toy every time I bring my hips down onto him or vice versa.
OR you can put it on your favorite toy. Whether it's on a toy or on a penis, it's definitely the best cock ring I've ever used because of it's ease to stimulate my clit. I absolutely LOVE my clit being stimulated simultaneously with my G spot.
This is by far the BEST vibrating cock ring I've ever tried. If you want to get one of your own GO HERE NOW. I would also like to thank Eden Fantasys for giving me the opportunity to review this amazing piece of vibrating silicone!
Friday, November 06, 2009
I lied
The other day I received this toy in the mail from Eden Fantasys for review. I excitedly opened the box, removed the toy and its components, put it together to make sure it worked, then put it back in the box. Joe's not feeling well so I figured we wouldn't be using it that night.
About 12:30 that night (technically morning) Ethan was at the foot of our bed, crying his eyes out because his ear was hurting him. He's been dealing with ear infections his whole life, so I know the pattern oh so well. His ears have become so desensitized that when it hurts, it's too late. Antibiotics won't work fast enough. All he can do is wait for the eardrum to rupture, which drains the fluid out of his ear through his ear canal. The good news is that it usually doesn't take long to rupture. The bad news is that rupturing causes scaring and scaring causes hearing loss.
I jumped out of bed and gave him Advil and a warm compress to try to ease the pain. I told him to go lay down on our couch and I would be right there to snuggle with him. After going potty, I made my way over to the couch when he held up this:
Ethan: "What is THIS?"
Me: (still half asleep with blurry vision and in the dark) "What is it?" (I couldn't see!)
Ethan: "I don't know. But it's gross."
Me: (clearing my eyes and seeing the box, not with a clear brain though.) "Oh yeah. I know."
Ethan: "Whose is it?"
Me: "Um, I don't really know."
Ethan: "Where did it come from?"
Me: "It just came in the mail. I don't know why though."
Ethan: "But what exactly is it?"
Me: "How am I supposed to know? Give it to me and let's snuggle."
In the morning when my head was more clear, I told him that I had ordered a pair of jeans on Ebay and maybe the lady I won them from sent me the wrong item. Later that evening I "confirmed" the story with him by saying that I had emailed the lady and she was very sorry and embarrassed for sending me the wrong thing. He bought it.
But DAMMIT if that kid doesn't find every toy I have. Even when I hide them, somehow, he finds them. This one wasn't hidden, as I left it on the coffee table in our basement. He never goes down there before I wake up. Figures. The one time I leave it out in the open, he'd come downstairs and find it. One day soon, he's going to be too old to buy my stories. I'm just going to have to gross him out and be like, "Listen kid, these are MINE and I LIKE THEM!!"
I hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend. Happy Friday!!
Deep Throat of the Day: 2 toy reviews coming to a blog near you. (one toy still not discovered by the child, sheeew)
About 12:30 that night (technically morning) Ethan was at the foot of our bed, crying his eyes out because his ear was hurting him. He's been dealing with ear infections his whole life, so I know the pattern oh so well. His ears have become so desensitized that when it hurts, it's too late. Antibiotics won't work fast enough. All he can do is wait for the eardrum to rupture, which drains the fluid out of his ear through his ear canal. The good news is that it usually doesn't take long to rupture. The bad news is that rupturing causes scaring and scaring causes hearing loss.
I jumped out of bed and gave him Advil and a warm compress to try to ease the pain. I told him to go lay down on our couch and I would be right there to snuggle with him. After going potty, I made my way over to the couch when he held up this:
Ethan: "What is THIS?"
Me: (still half asleep with blurry vision and in the dark) "What is it?" (I couldn't see!)
Ethan: "I don't know. But it's gross."
Me: (clearing my eyes and seeing the box, not with a clear brain though.) "Oh yeah. I know."
Ethan: "Whose is it?"
Me: "Um, I don't really know."
Ethan: "Where did it come from?"
Me: "It just came in the mail. I don't know why though."
Ethan: "But what exactly is it?"
Me: "How am I supposed to know? Give it to me and let's snuggle."
In the morning when my head was more clear, I told him that I had ordered a pair of jeans on Ebay and maybe the lady I won them from sent me the wrong item. Later that evening I "confirmed" the story with him by saying that I had emailed the lady and she was very sorry and embarrassed for sending me the wrong thing. He bought it.
But DAMMIT if that kid doesn't find every toy I have. Even when I hide them, somehow, he finds them. This one wasn't hidden, as I left it on the coffee table in our basement. He never goes down there before I wake up. Figures. The one time I leave it out in the open, he'd come downstairs and find it. One day soon, he's going to be too old to buy my stories. I'm just going to have to gross him out and be like, "Listen kid, these are MINE and I LIKE THEM!!"
I hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend. Happy Friday!!
Deep Throat of the Day: 2 toy reviews coming to a blog near you. (one toy still not discovered by the child, sheeew)
Monday, November 02, 2009
Sign of aging
Every morning I listen to a local pop/top 40 radio station. I don't so much listen for the music as I do the morning show, which is hilarious. Sure they play *some* songs I like but for the most part I can't stand the new music.
When I was 10-11 all I wanted for my birthday was a He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper tape (ha, remember THOSE?) from DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. I just HAD TO HAVE IT because of the song "Parents Just Don't Understand." My dad refused to buy that "rap shit" for me so I told all of my friends and I ended up getting 4 of them at my party. I didn't need 4 of the same damn tape, but I was happier than shit. That is if shit is happy.
I grew up listening to BIG, BEAUTIFUL voices like Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey (pre-whoredom) and Jewel. There were TALENTED artists like Madonna and Michael Jackson. This was good, make that GREAT music. I don't expect there to be other Whitneys or Madonnas out there, but I don't expect the bottom of the barrel to be the most famous music out there either.
Miley Cyrus? Horrible! She makes my ears bleed. Britney Spears? Not only is her life a train wreck but her voice is so nasally and wretched that I want to jab my eardrums with an icepick. Taylor Swift? PUH-LEASE!!!!! None of these bitches would make it to Hollywood if they tried out for American Idol! Then they just play some stupid shit like "Fireflies" by Owl City.
For a while I kept thinking that the quality of music is becoming lower and lower as the digital generation evolves. But then I realized that's not it. I'M GETTING OLD!!!!! Remember growing up and thinking your parents were so out of it because they thought your music was horrible? I'M BECOMING THAT PARENT!
Deep Throat of the Day: The music still sucks.
When I was 10-11 all I wanted for my birthday was a He's the DJ, I'm the Rapper tape (ha, remember THOSE?) from DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince. I just HAD TO HAVE IT because of the song "Parents Just Don't Understand." My dad refused to buy that "rap shit" for me so I told all of my friends and I ended up getting 4 of them at my party. I didn't need 4 of the same damn tape, but I was happier than shit. That is if shit is happy.
I grew up listening to BIG, BEAUTIFUL voices like Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey (pre-whoredom) and Jewel. There were TALENTED artists like Madonna and Michael Jackson. This was good, make that GREAT music. I don't expect there to be other Whitneys or Madonnas out there, but I don't expect the bottom of the barrel to be the most famous music out there either.
Miley Cyrus? Horrible! She makes my ears bleed. Britney Spears? Not only is her life a train wreck but her voice is so nasally and wretched that I want to jab my eardrums with an icepick. Taylor Swift? PUH-LEASE!!!!! None of these bitches would make it to Hollywood if they tried out for American Idol! Then they just play some stupid shit like "Fireflies" by Owl City.
For a while I kept thinking that the quality of music is becoming lower and lower as the digital generation evolves. But then I realized that's not it. I'M GETTING OLD!!!!! Remember growing up and thinking your parents were so out of it because they thought your music was horrible? I'M BECOMING THAT PARENT!
Deep Throat of the Day: The music still sucks.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
New Acronym
MILFITA (pronounced milf-IT-a not milf-ee-ta: Mom I'd Like To Fuck In The Ass.
Courtesy of Joe.
Courtesy of Joe.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Big night
I have a date tonight with a sexy, amazing man. We're going to see a movie (to maintain my fear of darkness), have dinner and shoot pool. The night's probably going to end with me getting lucky. Don't hate.
I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween!
UPDATE: Paranormal Activity? WORST MOVIE EVER!! Please do not buy into the hype. There's a reason why they only spent $15,000 making this movie. There were a few, and I mean a few, scary parts and even a few funny parts. Other than that, BOOOORING! I'll never get that hour and 39 minutes of my life back. And neither will you if you waste your time seeing this movie. Joe and a bunch of people in the theater agreed, so I'm not the only one.
Deep Throat of the Day: Getting lucky = bumping uglies. (for those of you not down with the lingo)
I hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween!
UPDATE: Paranormal Activity? WORST MOVIE EVER!! Please do not buy into the hype. There's a reason why they only spent $15,000 making this movie. There were a few, and I mean a few, scary parts and even a few funny parts. Other than that, BOOOORING! I'll never get that hour and 39 minutes of my life back. And neither will you if you waste your time seeing this movie. Joe and a bunch of people in the theater agreed, so I'm not the only one.
Deep Throat of the Day: Getting lucky = bumping uglies. (for those of you not down with the lingo)
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