Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Confession

I am an asshole driver. I'm one of THOSE people who pass you via the right lane, but only after I've ridden your ass for 2 minutes in the left lane. I seldom obey the posted speed limit, but I always use my turn signal to switch lanes. I have a problem. If I'm not able to go the speed I want, I get fidgety in my seat, growing more and more impatient. Like it's an addiction.

Maybe you're wondering, 'how fast is she talking?' 90. (at least) I told you I have a problem.

Every morning I travel over a mountain, which to most people is a pain. Not for me. It's exhilarating. There's about a mile long straight-stretch of road before the upward, winding trek up the mountain. I look at this particular stretch of road as my acceleration lane. I floor it, reaching at least 100 mph. I look at the position of all the cars in my path and plot a strategy of my moves. If by chance one of the cars interferes with my strategy, I'm able to think fast and formulate a new one. When I get to the mountain, I fly by all the cars in my path. This is my adrenaline rush. Some people jump out of planes, I speed like an asshole.

I need help.

14 comments:

Nessa said...

wow! I thought I drove fast - just be safe, chica!

Macca said...

You know what they say: "Courtesy killed the cat."

Or is it curiousity? Whatever.

fyrchk said...

Having ridden with you (and feared for my life), I can vouch for the need for speed.

Nice Top Gun reference, eh?

schmims said...

We already knew you needed help long before you posted it here! :)

Johnny said...

Brilliant. All people should drive like Nascar.

...Some day the mountain might get her, but the law never will...

Kira said...

I can't help. I love speeding too. I tend to be more reasonable if the kids are in the car, but...uhhh....

What do you drive that you can get to 100 though? My car, poor thing, deals with 80 fine or even 85, but 90 is the max speed before I feel like Scotty from the Old Star Trek:

"Cap'in Cap'in, we're breakin' up!"

Johnny said...

So watcha driving?

Mitsu Eclipse?
Acura Integra?
Honda with 2x nox?

april said...

Actually I'm not driving a sports car (if I were, I'd probably be getting into too much trouble) but a Honda Accord EX. It's not the fastest, but it works for me.

april said...

Johnny-my sports car of choice wouldn't be any of the one's you mentioned, but a Mazda RX8, or Nissan Z.

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