Saturday, September 17, 2005

My Kitty


This is Chico. He was our crazy kitty until we moved into our new house. Our new landlord wouldn't let us have any pets because the old tenants were scum bag fuckers and left their cat in the house, unattended, for a month. Long story, but let's just say that the husband came home early and found his wife in bed with another man. He left, then she left, and neither took their cat. So the cat pissed and shit all over the house, which fortunately got me new carpet, but didn't go over will with the landlord.

Anyway, I am allergic to cats, but I fell in love with Chico instantly. Just look at him!! We only had him for six months or so before we had to give him away. Luckily my husband's grandmother said she would keep him. We brought over all of his toys and other accessories, and told her his likes and dislikes.

We babied this cat, so he was pretty spoiled. Apparently Grandma wasn't about spoiling him. So she put him outside, which pissed me off because he's an inside cat. Thank goodness we hadn't had him declawed yet so he can defend himself.

Well the other day we went over to visit, and I found something that really disturbed me. Now, y'all are probably going to think I'm crazy for being bothered, but I think it's some freakish maternal instinct or something. My kitty had knocked up not one but TWO girl kitties!! You men out there are probably all, "Props to Chico for gettin' him a piece!" but I'm really sad. I feel like my kitty is not a kitty anymore. He's a cat. A manly man cat, who's cute little kitty walk has now become a pimp strut. He's not my playful crazy kitty, but a horny macho cat. My sweet innocent kitty has been corrupted by skanky kitty sluts!

What's wrong with this world today!!

9 comments:

Maine said...

Um... that cat needed to be neutered if he's gonna be an outside cat. If he's allowed to run around the neighborhood and knock up female whore cats indiscriminately, that neighborhood is going to be overrun by kittens who need, like, food and shelter and stuff.

And hugs.

And to also be neutered.

april said...

Yes he should've been neutered. I didn't know he was going to be put outside, and his grandmother knew he wasn't neutered. Had I of known that she was going to keep him outside, he wouldn't have gone with her.

I miss my crazy kitty.

Miss R said...

At least somebody is getting some.

Nessa said...

bwahahahaha - that is too funny! and he's pretty!

schmims said...

I could never live in a place that wouldn't allow pets. I'd die without my girls!

Just wait til that son of yours becomes an, urghm... man.

Kira said...

Snip snip! Because ripping the testicles off of anything male makes him so much better!

*ducks and runs from the men who are now very angry* ;)

The kitty is, indeed, adorable. My cat has, at 13 yrs of age (old and fat and tortured frequently by small children), earned the right to laize about like a sluggard inside my house. I HAD to pick out an apartment that allowed pets because I just wasn't going to let his reward for all the shit he put up with in his long life be a new home without me. Remember, my 7 yr old daughter at 6 months of age took her first crawl over to the cat and ripped up fistfulls of his fur, and it just got worse with age (well, she's nice to him now, but by the time she stopped, her younger brother started!). I would try and put him on the other side of the baby gate, but he'd jump back again and Masochist Cat would ask for more abuse. So, it's my obligation to only go to a place that allows pets. Thankfully, I found one!

Anonymous said...

Cats are good eating! -- Your friends at China Palace Restaurant

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