Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Background Check

I have read stories that a few of you have shared describing your families and recalling mostly happy memories. I'm always touched when I read them, yet at the same time I get this wave of sadness that takes over my emotions like the plague. Usually I try to get out a good cry then move on. However, after reading a not-so-happy story a fellow blogger wrote, I have been thinking more and more about my dad. Initially I wasn't going to write about it because my emotions are not aimed in a happy direction. But I've discussed it with myself and decided that getting it out is better than keeping it in. Right? So I'm giving you fair warning that this isn't going to be amusing or entertaining and is probably going to be long. If you're still reading then here it goes.........

To provide a little background; the summer before second grade my Mom and I would sometimes go to her "friend" Mark's house on her day off. Mark was quiet, but he had a dog, an Atari, and always some kind of special treat for me. So, I managed to keep myself occupied while they went off into the other room to "talk." Remember I was 7, so I didn't really see the motives behind the situation. Besides that, her and I would often go to visit two of her other (female) friends, so to me we weren't doing anything unusual.

During some rough-housing with Mark's dog, I got a couple of scratches on my arms. The next day, after dinner, my Mom had left to go to my Aunt's house (her sister) and I stayed at home with my Dad because I had to get ready for bed. When my Dad was tucking me in he asked what happened to my arms. I told him that I was playing with Marks dog and he scratched me but it didn't hurt. He asked me who Mark was and I innocently explained that he was one of Mommy's friends. Then he wanted to know what I do when I go there and I told him either play Atari, watch tv, or go outside with the dog. Of course he asked what are Mommy and Mark doing during my time there and I told him what he probably feared, "Go in Marks bedroom and talk."

The look on his face when I told him that was so hurt and sad that I thought I had done something wrong. He picked up the phone and called my Aunt to see if my Mom was there. No one answered. Then we hopped in the car for a "quick ride" as I recall he phrased it. We drove by my Aunts house and the lights were off and no cars were in the driveway. He pulled into the nearest convenient store and he started crying as he covered his face with his hands. I asked him what was wrong and he just said that he was sad because he didn't know where Mommy was. Then with the intentions of making him happy I said, "Maybe she's at Marks house. Let's go there!" He just cried even harder, which made me start to cry. Reaching over, he gave me a hug and told me that he was sorry for crying and assured me that I didn't do anything wrong, but he was upset because he doesn't know how to get to Marks house.

At this point a light went off inside my head. You see, I knew that Marks house was in the middle of nowhere and I knew it seemed like it took forever to get there. But what I also knew is that I had every street sign that we passed on the way to his house, memorized. I told Dad that I could probably find his house because I remembered like 10 street names we turned on. We were off to find Marks house. To me this was an adventure and I was the captain. Little did I know this was going the be the last day the three of us were a family.

"This is it, Daddy! This is the road Mark lives on. His house is up here on the right." Sure enough my Mom's car was in the driveway which made me even more happy because my memory served us well. Dad told me he'd be right back and went up to the door. He stood there for a few minutes before he knocked. My Mom opened the door with Mark standing behind her. Nothing was said, he just turned around with tears pouring down his face and got back into the car. I kept asking what was wrong but he just drove. We got back home and he started packing our suitcases. He told me that we were going to Philadelphia to visit my grandparents for a while. I asked about Mommy and he said she wasn't going. I knew then EXACTLY what was going on. It actually amazes me that I can remember that whole night, specifically when I was packing and it all came together for me. I asked him if we were leaving Mommy forever and he told me, "I don't know." We drove to the airport, bought 2 tickets to Philly, then waited forever to board the plane.

After we arrived at my grandparents house all I can remember is my Dad constantly crying and arguing with my Mom on the phone. I kept trying to make him happy, but nothing worked. Then he sat me down and told me that he was going back to Florida to work things out with Mommy and I was going to stay with my grandparents until they were better. I believed him. I believed that I was going to go back to Florida and we were going to be a happy family. Instead, I came home to my Mom being gone. She had moved out and my Dad made sure I knew that SHE left US. He didn't want me thinking he had kicked her out. No no, SHE cheated on him with Mark. SHE didn't love him anymore. SHE didn't want to take me with her but HE wouldn't have let me go anyhow. SHE ruined our family. SHE didn't care about us, blah blah blah. As you can probably see, this is about the time my dad turned into the parent I will later despise.

To be continued........

Deep Throat of the Day: Lunch sex is fucking amazing!


mikey said...

Dude, WTF? You leave us hanging like that? To be continued? Psssh.

Well, I guess you had to stop writing... obviously, you were busy at lunch. But no excuses tomorrow!

JsTzznU said...

Yup, wrong move on Dad's part, blasting a spouse is the wrong thing to do!!

btw Lunch sex..... it's wicked =)

Judy B said...

Hmmm, lemme guess. You had tube steak extroidinaire and he had the beaver flambe, right?

I had McDonald's while I read a travel guide for places I'll probably never see and listened to CNN and the old man next to my table sucking on his dentures. My, what different lives we lead, girlfriend!


NWJR said...


Randi said...

Wow. I'm sort of dying to read the rest... Good for you for getting it off your chest, dude.

J R Estelle said...

I agree about the no blasting of the other parent in front of the kids. This woman I date now, does that in front of her kid and he hates it and it shows and it breaks my heart to see it.

Nooners rock.

The Lily said...

I never fails to amaze me what kids can pick up on. I'm sorry that happened to your family.

j said...

thats sad sexy girl
very sad

Kira said...

Although by the end of the tale, I'm sure I will hate your dad too, right now I'm really upset with your mom for putting you in that position. I cringe when I think of you as a seven year old having no idea what was "wrong" about the situation and blithely telling your father about it all. That just isn't fair to do to a child.

Canadian Corona said...

Wow, that's an incredibly sad story. Well I can relate on some levels, what really amazes me is your vivid memory of the situation. I find that most of my ridiculously tragic childhood is now vague, at best. Or maybe I simply don't want to remember. Either way I'm looking forward to "the rest of the story." (A Paul Harvey reference, I didn't even know I had it in me)