Monday, October 31, 2005

Mumbo Jumbo

We were encouraged to wear a costume at work today in which we'd have a contest for the scariest, funniest, and most original. Due to my lack of Halloween spirit, I didn't wear a costume. I didn't want to wear one because I have a bad memory that is associated with Halloween.

In high school I dated this guy, Brent, for 8 months or so. We broke up but remained friends even after we graduated. Halloween night, 6 years ago, I was working at Outback which was directly across the street from Bennigans. We were also encouraged to wear a costume which I happily obliged. I had parted my hair and tied my pigtails with little cow rubberbands, painted rosy circles on my cheeks, wore a nightgown that had huge cow heads all over it, and cow slippers that would moo when you pinched the ears. After work, a whole bunch of us were going to Bennigans for their annual Halloween bash. Complete with tents in the parking lot and a D.J., it was full of people.

As we start to mingle, I heard a familiar voice call out my full name. Instantly I knew who it was. I turned around and yelled, "Brent Simpson!" Then ran up and gave him a big hug. We talked and danced together all night, just laughing and having a great time.

Brent was too drunk to drive so I asked if he needed a ride. He said he wasn't driving, that his friend Brian was his DD. Satisfied with his answer, I gave him a hug and left Bennigans. Shortly after that, Brian the "DD" smacked the Durango he was driving right into the side of a bridge. The impact somehow caused Brent to fly out of window at which point the back of the Durango pinned him up against the side of the bridge and drug him for 100 feet. He was pronounced dead by the paramedics when they arrived to the accident.

Brian is currently in prison for involuntary manslaughter.

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One of the women at work, She Man, has just gotten on my last nerve today. I sure do have a lot of last nerves, don't I? Anyway, first thing when I walked in she looked at me and asked, "Where's your costume?" I wanted to say, "Well DUMBASS, I suppose it's right here in my back pocket. Or I'm the fucking Bionic Leg, bitch!." Instead I said, "Ummmmmm, well obviously I'm not wearing one." As I chuckled as if in a joking manner. She laughed too. Dumbass. So then she tells me to guess what she's supposed to be, with a green felt star pinned to her shirt and a deer antler headband. My first thought was Burt Reynolds staring as Rudolph in a Christmas movie, then I said naaaaa, her mustache isn't quite as thick. So I guessed Bullwinkle! Yeah, Bullwinkle, that's it!! Apparently she didn't like me telling her she looked like a moose. I wonder what she would've thought of my Burt theory? Wanna know what she was? Starbucks.

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The ONLY thing I'm saying about football today is that Tedy Bruschi is one hell of a dedicated player!!

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Being the sap that I am, I cried the other day when I heard that Rosa Parks died. It's wonderful how she is a staple of our history and is being remembered appropriately. God bless Rosa Parks and I hope her memory lives on for generations to come.

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Ethan is going to be Darth Vader tonight. I was hoping that he was going to change his mind because Darth Vader looks like a big penis!! I don't want my kid walking around looking like a penis. I'm such a freak sometimes, I know. *sigh*

5 comments:

schmims said...

Hope the penis got lots of candy!

Maine said...

One Halloween, I was at a party populated by hipsters and other people who can't help but feel like they're the coolest things on earth.

We're all wearing costumes, and this one dude was dressed up like a baron or something from the 1700's. I asked him what specifically he was supposed to be and he got pissed off with me because, apparently, those are just his regular clothes. He just happens to have the same clothing designer as Rob Zombie, and I'm an asshole for not understanding high fashion.

So... to reiterate... I'm an idiot for assuming that a guy who was dressed like Baron Munchausen at a Halloween costume party was wearing a costume.

And that was the last Halloween party I went to.

Johnny said...

say; you're a hoe and im the pimp?

Kira said...

Aw, man, but Darth Vader is a COOL penis with a fab light saber to boot!

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