Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I kept my mouth shut!!

I was sitting across from this bitch at work during our Thanksgiving luncheon today. And I found myself staring at her in amazement. Her nose resembles that of Miss Piggy. Then I started watching her eat and she eats like a fucking pig too. The gravy from her mashed potatoes running down her chin. I could hear her chewing on the food as all the other noises were tuned out. She sounded like a cow, but looks like a pig. Her fingernails are newly done in bright red, which only draws attention to her puffy fingers wrapped around the fork she was using to shovel food into her pie hole. Then I noticed something other than her morbidly obese body that prompted me to ask myself this question; How could such a fucking slob still have enough manners to eat with her elbows off the table?

10 comments:

Macca said...

She sounds hot. Tell her I'm single and outstanding in bed ;P

april said...

Ummmm yeah, ya don't want any of that. I don't care how desperate you are. Mk?

cookie monster said...

hah! im more desperate, ill have her! or maybe macca and me can share?

Kira said...

Because

a) her elbows don't fit

OR

b) her elbows get in the way of her trough-like eating style

schmims said...

Personally I don't know how people let themselves get that obese. I physically feel bad if I gain 5 pounds. I can't even imagine carrying around 50+ extra pounds.

Maine said...

Next time, wait until she eats some pork or beef, then glare at her and mutter "cannibal."

That tends to get people the message.

Kira said...

When I come to your blog, April, I feel like somebody slipped me some LSD.

One day I swear I see certain posts, and the other days they're gone.

WEEEEE!!!

Anybody want a hit?

The Village Idiot said...

Wow, i had that same kinda thing a couple of weeks ago at a conference, only the person in question was very thin and pinched looking and I couldn't get over how much she looked like a little pig!

Freaky man, freaky. I think they're probably out to get us.

Rock on,
the idiot

pickett said...

I'm thinking the excess fat on her arms won't let them contort such to lean her elbows on the table. Some people just really love driving up health care costs for the rest of us : ).

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