Friday, November 04, 2005

A question for those who've been reading this.

Do I appear to be stupid? I know that I do not write very well, and I've never claimed to. I've accepted that writing is just one of my shortcomings. Obviously y'all have done so too, because no one really tries to correct my grammar. Well except one time when I wrote an entire post using the word warship rather than worship, but I fixed it and was rather embarrassed. ANYWAY, have you ever read this and thought to yourself, "DAMN, this woman is just flat out DUMB! Dumber than a box of rocks! She must have the IQ of a tomato! How can someone that STUPID possibly get by in life? She shouldn't be able to reproduce! I bet she's the one who sends back the M&M's because they have W's on them. She's probably the one who puts white out on her computer monitor. Actually, she's probably the one ALL the dumb blonde jokes were inspired by!"

I checked my forehead in the mirror and there's no STUPID or DUMB stamped on it. Someone please help me out here?? If your answer is yes, then thank you for your honesty and I will seek help! If your answer to this is no, then please tell me why anyone would insult my intelligence with a blatant lie?


Anonymous said...

If you're blog comes off as stupid (which it doesn't) my blog must come off as if it was written by a 1000 monkeys on 1000 typewriters.

I actually think you come off as very intelligent.

I don't even spellcheck my shit. That's right internet, I don't care! What's it to ya!?

Bill said...

Not knowing exactly how or why you are having this moment, I can't get into details on why someone would call you stupid or whatever term they used. I enjoy reading your blog, I wouldn't if it was badly written and it was painful to read.

I have a friend who often makes some spelling errors or mistakes with homonyms (words that sound the same, I did check the spelling in a dictionary) in her emails. I know what she means, I know the correct spellings because I read too much. I actually tend to reuse the mispelled word in my reply correctly spelled. Is that wrong? Would you be offended if I handled it that way?

Word ID of the day XXXSZK pronounciation- triple x sexy
definition- porn hot

cookie monster said...

no your blog does not come across as stupid, if anyhting its very well written and i always like reading it

april said...

Macca - You don't need to spellcheck your shit, but if I were you I'd consider spellchecking your posts. HARDY HAR HAR HAR!! Thank you though, sir and the 1000 monkeys you've got typing your shit!!

Bill - First, thank you. So happy to know that I'm not causing you pain by my words!!=) I'm having this moment because I've been told a lie. An obvious lie. Lying in itself pisses me off, but when someone thinks that I'm dumb enough to actually BELIEVE the lie, I feel my intelligence has been insulted. Does that make sense?

To answer your question, NO, I would not be offended AT ALL if you handled it that way. Actually, I'd prefer you told me because I might not pick on the correct spelling in your response. I could be using the wrong spelling because I don't know that it's spelled the other way. Then you correct me, and I've learned something knew! (ha ha, it's new, I know that. Just being a smartass!)

Porn hot, hhmmmmmm.........

Cookie - Thank you sweets!!

(whatcha got for us Bill?)

Bill said...

pronounced funny day-olds
definition- a) jokes that were funny the first twenty time you heard them, but not recently. Day old jokes. b) Kids jokes

Maine said...

I think you're very stupid. ;)

By the way, I, um... I won the lottery, right? And I need to go to the place to cash in my ticket, but I need like $50 for the bus fare. If you give it to me, I'll give you $10,000 after I collect...

april said...

Sure, Maine!! $10,000 is like 10 whole $1 dollar bills!! I'll be rich!!

Opaco said...

U ain't dum. u gots gooder right'n skills than me. wen i read ur blog i heft 2 slow it down and s.s.s.sound out the werds. that b how i no i am read-n gooder stuff then mine

april said...


You sound like some of the people in my (red) neck o' the woods!! For real!!

fyrchk said...

Who lied to you? Was it Pinocchio? Cause THAT could be fun!

april said...

Yeah that little wooden mother fucker can't tell the truth to save his nose!!!

I will see your beautifulness tomorrow, Fyrchkeepoo!!

I've got a good one!!
Word Verification: pyluvaes
Pronounced: Pile of ass
Definition: a)What is left of the groupies after the stars are done with them. b) The left over subcutaneous fatty tissue from liposuction of the buttocks.

Bill said...

hehehehe. That is good. I love the use of subcutaneous, bonus points. It is a whole new game/sport. Word verification jumble...

pronounced-wax girl please
I think it explains itself pretty well.

Kira said...

If pinocchio lies to you, sit on his face. Then at least his lies will be useful to you.

I'm the same way, April. When somebody is dumb enough to toss me a blatant lie, I become very offended that he or she THINKS I WILL TAKE THAT and move on and not pick it up. I warn ALL my students at Tech that the worst thing they can ever do to me is assume I'm an idiot and therefore they can lie to me/copy papers/etc and I won't pick up on it.

Occasional grammar or spelling mistakes do not indicate lack of intelligence nor the presence of it. More often, it indicates the quality of English instructors you had in gradeschool and high school. YES, you do have the occasional error (everybody does, even the English professors *cough*, because we are human and sometimes we don't proofread well before we hit post). But honestly, April, I've never been able to figure out why you stress that you can't spell or use grammar. I TEACH English, and I can tell you that you write better than most of my students, mistakes and all! I wouldn't be able to STAND your blog and would never read it if it were "bad." I get enough "bad" writing at home while grading the tech students' papers!

You're smart AND you have a nice rack. Top THAT, world!

One day I'll write a book... said...

Nope, chickadee. Never thought you were an idiot. Just thought of you as a kind hearted, funny person who likes football VERY much and is a good mom who is actually involved in her son's life. As for the lier, tell him to suck it.

april said...

Kira-I'll remember your suggestion next time Pinocchio lies. (sounds like a great idea for a new sex toy, doesn't it?)

Thank you for all of your compliments, Kira. The reason why I stress over my writing is because I am just not comfortable with it. Ya know? I don't know when to use apostrophe's correctly. I always thought that if it was 's that was a contraction for ______ is or occasionally has. But it's used other times when that's not the case. I'm all fucked up with determining when to use one and where it goes. Then I read blogs like yours, Amanda's, Angie's, and Clairebell's and I just feel like your writing is far more superior. I want to be better at it. See?

Schmims-Aaawwww, thank you very much!! I'll tell him more than suck it, believe me!! Grrrrrr!

Nessa said...

I don't think you sound stupid - hot, maybe - but not stupid :)

Bill said...

Apostrophes are a pain but are used in most cases for contractions which you know and to show possesion. April's car. They can be a pain with plural possessives (geese's or desks') and words that normally end in 's'(Moses' Ten Commandments). I screw posessive apostrophes up all the time.

As for verification madness
yepqm- Yep UMMM
yeah what she said...

april said...

Bill-If it's ok with you, you can be my official grammar, spelling, and apostrophe officer?

Word Verification: azrfmduz
Definition: As our family does.

Bill said...

that is quite a bit of pressure on me... of course it gets you off the hook.

WV-qvqastzu - quack a tzu
The official guide to duck warfare. The proper use of amphibious vehicles.

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