Thursday, December 22, 2005

Blink, blink, blink, blink...........

I have been sitting here looking at my cursor blink for what seems to be several hundred times. Is that what they call writer's block? Although I don't consider myself to be a writer, more like a woman who types stupid shit on a web site for anyone who wants read it. Maybe that does make me a writer and I'm having a block. Whatever.

I'm going to just type some random thoughts, since I can't prevent myself from thinking. And believe me, I've tried.

~Do people with ugly kids really KNOW that their kid is ugly? I know they say that all parents think their kid(s) are cute, but I've seen one's that just got beat with the ugly stick one too many times.

~I hope the bitches I went to high school with have ugly kids.

~Sometimes I think about people from my past and I wonder if they ever think about me too.

~I hate Virginia.

~Would Matthew McConaughey find me attractive enough to have a night of meaningless sex with?

~How fun would it be to have a threesome with Angelina Jolie and Matthew McConaughey?

~If the Pope got laid, would we ever find out? Who doesn't get sexual urges?

~I get so pissed off every morning when I watch the weather guy say it's going to be cold. It's fucking December in Virginia asshole, it's cold every fucking day!!

~I saw the Anchorman yesterday and it's fucking stupid. Who thinks of making movies like this?

~I woke up to my alarm clock playing "Take This Job and Shove It." I think it's a sign.

~I love my boobs. I really do.

~Gingerbread and egg nog should be served all year 'round.

~I could eat steak and potatoes every day.

~This blog has recently been found via an MSN search for the following:
*Captain Cock
*Bad pickup lines
*Captain Douche Bag

~I watched Chris Rock do a stand up show last night and he gets on my fucking nerves. He repeats himself so much that I wanted to punch him. He's one of those people who don't know how to talk at a normal level. I still believe that every movie he's ever been in would be so much better if Chris Tucker played the part instead.

I think that's enough for today. Only 4 more days 'til Christmas!! WOO HOO!!


Anonymous said...

Don't like Virginia? Move to Boston. It's crazy warm up here. /sarcasm

Anchorman is quite stupid the first time you see it. It only gets funnier the more you watch it.

Bill said...

The only scene that I really enjoy is the news caster battle royal and the post fight talk. I mean who punts a dog? And speaking of boobs, that movie could have used some random boob shots.

And what the heck is up with "American Pie: Band Camp?" I am trying to watch football last night and every thirty seconds there was a freakin commercial for this direct to video piece o crap.

Why doesn't my works time sheet keep correct vacation totals... I have more than I thought and I have to use it (not complaining about extra vacation time) I would have made plans to go somewhere and burn all of the time.

I have information duty this week, and yes our users are stoooopeeed!

One request. If you do have a threesome with Matthew and Angelina, I would like a copy of the video. Heck, I'll volunteer to film it.

Bill said...

note: I meant "work's" above. I didn't proof.

Itchy said...

I HATED Anchorman the first time I watched it...and now I laugh just thinking about it. It grows on a fungus.

Virginia sucks...totally.

When I go home and I see the snobby, stuck up girls that talked about me all through high school still living there with their 3 kids next door to their mom because their husband drinks too much to keep a good job...I secretly light up inside.

Make that threesome a foursome and call me. :D

Randi said...

Anchorman is one of my favorite movies just because of the stupid randomness. And I want to be Will Ferrell's wife and find him to be a comic genius. Anyhoo, I'm pretty sure the concept of the film was developed over hearty bong loads and lots of shots of jagermeister... though I could be wrong.
Oh and I would find you attractive enough to have meaningless sex with and I'm not even gay.

A.J. said...

Congratulations on your love of your own boobs! I'm sure they're spectacular. Myself, I've never met one (in person) that I didn't like.

As far as that threesome is concerned.......d'ya need a cameraman? Ya know, just to capture the moment......for posterity. Having one with an artistic background is more important than you would think.

Chris Tucker is, by far the most annoying man on the planet. I can not think of another person that I would rather seen stricken with throat cancer. Sorry to disagree.

Kira said...

I love your boobs too!

If one is a writer and one cannot write, it is writer's block. If one writes stupid shit, and the shit cannot flow, then one is constipated. That's just my two cents' worth.

I loved Dogma, and Chris Rock had a role in that and did a good job. I can't recall anything else he's done though.

I think most parents of ugly children are not aware. My niece Staci has turned out to be a gorgeous young teen, but I tell you true: that was the ugliest baby I've ever seen in my life. I recoiled in horror when I first saw her...not a good reaction for your niece. And I have to laugh because my sister in law was upset because she thought Staci resembled my brother instead of her as a newborn...all I could think was, woman, my bro's just not that ugly! Still, ugly duckling and all that...she's stunning now.

fyrchk said...

I miss you. The next party will be in February. You better come. I'll give you birthday kisses!

Maine said...

Yeah... same here. First time I saw Anchorman I walked out pretty angry. Stupid movie, stupid plot, stupid actors, maybe a few funny lines.

Then I caught pieces of a it on cable a few times and thought they were funnier the second time around. Specifically, the part where he drinks milk on a hot day and says, "Milk was a baaaaad choice!" and the part where Luke Wilson's second arm gets ripped off by a bear and he says, "This is getting to be ri-goddamn-diculous!"

But still, shit flick.

Anonymous said...

See... I just laughed out loud when Maine wrote that quote about the milk. I loved that part. The next time I see it, I will laugh like a crazed person.

One of the best characters was Brick, the weatherman.

"I love carpet"
"I love lamp."

"Are you just looking around the room and saying you love things?"

"I love lamp".

schmims said...

I love my wonder bra. Really I do.

I'm out in 10 minutes, so I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. Hope you haven't been too naughty so Santa will come see you.

JJ said...

These people are right about Anchorman - wait a month then watch it again.

I rarely laugh out loud at movies, but this one kills me. Especially when Jack Black gets hit in the face with a burrito...

Angry Biker: What do you love?
Ron Burgundy: I love poetry, and a glass of scotch, and, of course, my friend Baxter here.
Angry Biker: Well, now, guess what, this is happening.
[grabs Baxter]
Ron Burgundy: Excuse me... excuse me... what are you doing?
[biker punts Baxter over bridge]
Angry Biker: That's how I roll!

anthony said...

we don't know why you like your boobs...
maybe a picture would help.
and it would not have to be nude or anything just a pic of why we would like them if you like them!!??
what did i just say?

april said...

Anthony - I believe you said that you wanted some boobage! Maybe, guess you'll just have to dirty boy! =)

pickett said...

This Angelina Jolie and Matthew McConaughey thing seems to be a weekly theme;)

I'll trade ya Michigan for Virginia any day - BTW it is 39 and balmy here right now, an improvment from 15 and snowing.

Amanda said...

You've reminded me of why I like you...we have similar thoughts. Tell Matthew to give me a call when you're done with him.

dukethor said...

hehehehehehehehehe. I'm responsible for "Bad Pickup Lines". hehehehehehehehe

The Lily said...

~Do people with ugly kids really KNOW that their kid is ugly? I know they say that all parents think their kid(s) are cute, but I've seen one's that just got beat with the ugly stick one too many times.

Oh they know. Why do you think they try to convince everyone else?