Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Pimples, Beer & Prozac

I'm so happy that Christmas is over and the new year is approaching. I love celebrating the new year, it just gives me that warm tingly feeling in my tummy.

Santa brought Ethan mostly clothes which most boys his age would probably be disappointed about. Not Ethan. He loves clothes not to mention that he needed them. Just about every pair of pants he had has a hole in one of the knees. That's a boy for ya. One outfit in particular he looked just so damn hansom in. When he put it on I said, "WOW look at you all big pimpin'!" He ran over to my husband and said, "Daddy look at me, I'm big pimple!" We just about died laughing.

Most people will leave Santa milk and cookies for a snack while dropping off presents. Well Christmas of 2000, when Ethan was 2, we were getting Santa's snack ready before we laid Ethan to bed. I was in the refrigerator getting the cookies and milk out when Ethan walked up and grabbed a can of Bud Light. I asked him what he was doing and he said, "Do you think Santa likes beer, Mommy? Because I want to leave him beer instead of milk." I asked him why and he said, "Because my Daddy likes beer, so Santa probably does too." So it's been a tradition for us to leave beer and cookies for Santa.

When Ethan was in kindergarten the children where discussing the upcoming Christmas and Ethan mentioned that he always leaves Santa beer instead of milk. The kids got a real laugh out of that, but the teacher got her panties in a wad. So much that she called me at work to tell me how inappropriate it was for us to leave Santa beer and even more inappropriate for Ethan to be discussing it with the other kids. I told her that if she felt the need to bother me at work with such bullshit then I recommend she drink a damn beer herself and hope Santa brings her some Prozac.


Maine said...

Is beer evil?

I mean, I know Little E isn't drinking it, but he's not supposed to know it exists either?

We're such Puritans.

A.J. said...

If I was Santa the entire family would have all gotten new cars, Ethan included! Nothing draws a droll little mouth up like a bow quite as much as an ice cold beer, on a hot Christmas morning!

But hell, that's just me. I'm certainly no jolly old elf.........
........on szecond thought, maybe I am.

fyrchk said...

I love the Ethan stories. They crack me up.

Merry Christmas Sugar!

Bill said...

Next year, I'm leaving Santa a beer, heck a sixer. All I want is to not have top answer information request emails the week between Christmas and New Years.

I bet most teachers would have laughed. Think about it after all the Milk, he could use a drink. Next year tell Ethan to leave a shot, Santa needs to cut back on the calories.

schmims said...

I bet you get better presents from Santa with beer. I'll have to try that next year. Thanks for the tip!

Opaco said...

That explains why my gifts are always scattered all over the front lawn and on the roof. Santa's hammered by the time he makes it out to Oregon.

JJ said...

That rocks. You know what gives me a warm tingly feeling in my tummy and makes me happy? Beer!

Santa busts his ass all night traveling across the world delivering gifts. E's teacher thinks he doesn't deserve a beer for all his efforts? What a bitch.

Opaco said...

Should Brett Favre retire? What do you think?

Randi said...

It's stories like this one that make me wish my bro would pop me out a niece or nephew to regain the innocence of the holiday. Sigh. So cute.

The Lily said...


While the kids in my family aren't above petty bribery, we ate all of santa's cookies ourselves this year.

My brothers got coal in their stockings.


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