Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Sarcastic you say?

The weather forecast for today according to Fox 5: Cloudy and Cold.
I must admit I was rather disappointed when I heard that because I was hoping for sunny and hot. Oh well, maybe tomorrow will be the day for hot Virginia weather in the middle of December. Maybe tomorrow pigs will fly, the fat lady will sing, hell will freeze over, and the Pope will become an atheist. Cross your fingers, people!

This right here is weird. I mean, taking it to dinner and the movies and the grocery store? That's a little out there. I keep my Angelina Jolie mannequin at home and speak to her when I'm feeling a little froggy, if ya know what I mean.

I was at Wal Mart last night and unfortunately was asked to leave. Why you ask? Because Matthew McConaughey is the model for Stetson cologne and he's posing all sexy. They have him posted on this life size display. And well, apparently the people at Wal Mart didn't appreciate me dry humping it.

I'd like to end this post with a quote from Alfred Hitchcock:
"These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equaled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig."

13 comments:

Itchy said...

If WalMart isn't the appropriate place to dry hump a Matthew McConaughey display, then where is?

And yeah...that mannequin thing is weird. I understand missing your hubby but you keep that at home...with a strap on attached to it...maybe. Don't take it out to dinner.

Maine said...

I play a mean bagpipe.

Actually I don't, but if you heard me pick one up and start playing it, how would you know? That thing sounds awful.

A.J. said...

First off......I'm sorry you were at walmart.

Secondly, you can take a mannequin out to dinner...........really cheap date and they hardly ever have "headaches"!

I'll also leave with a musical quote. This one's from Benny Hill:

"Women are like pianos, when they're not upright, they're grand."

JJ said...

Itchy's right (about the strap on) - and you can make that happen here:
http://www.cloneawilly.com/

april said...

Itchy-That's what I'm talkin' about!! How often am I going to come across a Matthew display?? How did you know that I keep a strap-on on my Angelina mannequin?

Maine-The bagpipe just sounds horrible. Period.

A.J.- I LOVE THE QUOTE!!

J.J.- Do you think that if I sent Matthew McConaughey one of these, he would clone his penis and send it back to me?

JJ said...

Depends on if the size is impressive. If he doesn't have much going on down there, it might be too embarrassing. But if he's hung like John Holmes, he's probably already cloning it out for fans everywhere.

Kira said...

The mannequin thing is freaky on one hand, but on the other...I have to laugh and say, go girl. I'd pick a different mannequin though for sure. Her husband just isn't that hot, ya know?

Randi said...

I don't want to do it but I'm giving you a "LOL." Jesus, woman, you make me giggle like a school girl.

schmims said...

I would have totally taken that sign. April, what the hell is it still doing at Wal-Mart and not in your bedroom under your pillow. Geez!

NWJR said...

I'm lovin' the bagpipe quote...

fyrchk said...

I almost stole the People magazine from an inmate because it Matt's picture on it. (Oh yeah, he and I are on a nickname basis.)

Mojotek said...

That is so weird! I got kicked out of Target for humping a Hillary Duff display... man, commercialism is such a drag!

pickett said...

I'm dissapointed, my Walmart had no such display. And I would have dry humped Matthew too, or tried to purchase said display.