Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Buckwheat in a head-lock

I had 2 dreams last night. In one I was pregnant. PREGNANT!! Big, rollie-pollie, leaky boobies, garbage disposal, needing a beeping noise when I back up PREGNANT! I need to knock on wood, not this pressed cardboard fiberglas covered shit I have for a desk, but WOOD. Fuck it, I'm going outside to eat the bark off trees.

In the other dream I was suddenly able to smile again. I was so happy, running around (with 2 good legs) yelling, "I CAN SMILE! I CAN SMILE!" I was yelling it so much that apparently I woke up shouting, "I CAN SMILE!" Only to find that I still cannot. Fucker.

I really hope that those two dreams aren't related in some freak way. Because that would be my luck.

Neuro Doc: "April, I've discovered that pregnancy is the cure for Bell's Palsy."
April: "Great!! Wanna fuck?"
Ethan got in trouble during music class yesterday for arguing with a boy who said that Alfalfa was not on The Little Rascals. He was so adamant when he looked at me and said, "But Mommy, I KNOW that Alfalfa is on that show. But he wouldn't listen and we both got in trouble." I couldn't help but laugh at him.
I'm asking myself this question; Do I love football enough to see about becoming employed for the Redskins, the team I despise?

I'll let you know when my brain is done arguing with itself.


Randi said...

If you work for the Redskins you still get to be a part of other teams by association... I'm just saying.

Anonymous said...

sure! go work for them! then report back to me and tell me if brunell actually has some sort of handsome side to him or if i need to adjust my television.

Maine said...

Alfalfa was never on the Little Rascals. It was all in the mind.

How much would it suck having a vaginal palsy, by the way? Everything would be all numb and droopy, and you couldn't feel it or anything. Jeez. Why go on?

I think you could work for the Skins. That way, you could love your job and love going to work, and still keep the satisfying feeling of being able to bitch about the people you work for.

The one bad side would be that when you were up for a raise, your bosses could tell you that they can't pay you because they can't really fit you under the salary cap. Plus? You might get traded to Detroit.

Bill said...

If you sell out and work for the skins, can you get your blog fans free tickets... well for important, read Green Bay, games? Make sure you get a no trade clause, well unless they trade you to a player you want to be under. You should probably give your husband first option on pregnancy, the doctor could be held as a backup.

As for Ethan, be glad he wasn't arguing about spanky. Alfalfa- the kid with the permanent hair erection.

dukethor said...

Hey, I do some dream interpretation (among other things). I'll email you later with what I think it might mean (unless you want your "dirty laundry" aired right here, lol) Either way, I'll email it to you, and you can post it if you feel it necessary.

As for Ethan, this may be about the time you might want to introduce him to the concept of: which is more important, being right, or being happy?

Maine - That just might be the most mysogynistic thing I've read today, and it can only be topped by my next statement; I think my wife had that (the frigid bitch). :)

dukethor said...

[Edit]: Make that EX-wife. Thank you, lol.

A.J. said...

You're even funnier when you're bitter. Damn near blew a snot-bubble with that pregnancy/bell's connection. Did you see who li'l Mike Sherman is interviewing with Wednesday? None other than the stank-ass bottom-dwelling Bills of my sweet home of Buffalo!

schmims said...

I say at least interview with the skins. Couldn't hurt.

I never remember my dreams. Sometimes I wake up knowing I was dreaming but have no idea about what. Frustrating.

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