Sunday, January 01, 2006

Fuck the internet!

Reading, reading, reading and more reading. That's what I've been doing since diagnosed with this bullshit on Wednesday. I've done more reading and research in 5 days than I think I did all through college. I could probably pass for a Neurologist with how much I've learned about the facial and cranial nerves. Aside from the fact that I've always been intrigued by how the body works and anatomy (the class) was my forte, I need to know all there is about Bell's Palsy (BP).

I've read more stories that other's have been willing to share about their battle with BP. So far the shortest length of time in which someone has recovered fully is 3 weeks. THREE WEEKS!! That seems like a fucking ETERNITY to walk around with a jacked up face!! And that's the minimum. Most people had it for a couple of months, some had it for over a year, and a few have never gotten over it. Several of the people who did fully recover have had a recurrence of BP. There have been so many different things that people have done or taken to "cure" their BP. From taking prescribed medications to chiropractic sessions to vitamins to oils of plants that I've never heard of before.

Fuck, I just want this shit to go away. I just want my smile back. I've been looking at the pictures around my house, all of which I'm smiling in. I want to shatter the glass of the frames and cut my smile out of all the pictures. How depressing.

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My grandmother is in the ICU in Philly. Yesterday around 3pm she stopped breathing and lost all vitals. They were able to revive her and she is able to open her eyes, but she can't talk. As of now she's in critical condition, but she's on her last leg (no pun intended) so we're all preparing for the worst. What can I say, when it rains it pours. Right?

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I spent the New Year finding the best hiding spots in my house for two 7 y/o boys playing a cut-throat game of hide-n-seek. You didn't know that hide-n-seek could be so competitive, did you? I think it's right up there with hotdog eating.

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Thanks to everyone who has been so supportive with your comments. Aside from Fyrchk, Clairebell and Miss R, I've never met any of you. So it really means a lot to have such kind words and thoughts from strangers. Y'all are the bestest internet friends a girl could have!! *hugs*

12 comments:

Kira said...

Oh, man, April...I'm behind on my blogging due to my own little family crisis (Ariana the asthmatic with pneumonia...not a good combo...but she's almost all better now, so that's good!). I had no idea what was going on here! I'm so sorry. I, too, am a laughing/smiling person, and I don't know what I'd do without that tool to communicate. When I read down to your symptoms, it reminded me of when my dad had his stroke (his left side was affected). My dad could only do a half smile because the left side wouldn't cooperate. Actually, that's still the case. His left eyelid droops, but he can at least blink it. How do you NOT blink your eye? Do you have drops for it? Ug! I can't even imagine how shitty this is!

I'm so sorry, April. This totally sucks donkey balls. Keep us updated on your progress and all. I am really hoping you'll have no more than that three weeks...

Miss R said...

April, DON'T DO IT! Do not break all those wonderful pictures and memories. Hide them for a while if you must, but don't get rid of them. Above all, stay positive. The best medicine is a positive attitude. Enjoy the hide & seek; it's a chance to be a big kid. Prayers for your grandmother that her pain is eased. You will get through all of this. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Continue to lean on your friends and family; that's why we're here!

pickett said...

I wanna play hide and seek!! I haven't done that since I was well, sadly, I did play once in college. Drunk hide and seek is funny.

Truthfully, I can't imagine what you are going through. I am not a very patient person, so three weeks does sound like a lifetime.

Although really, hide and seek is sort of like wait and see. How high do you have to count to get to three weeks? The engineer in me had to know. Just count to 1,814,400 and you should be cured.

Itchy said...

My Mom woke up one morning a few years ago with BP...I forget how long it took her to recover but it wasn't long. I'll ask her any tips she may have for it. I remember how she felt with it so I can imagine how you are feeling...don't let it get you down. You'll be able to smile again in no time. I know, I know...easy for me to say. Just try to relax and if not...go back to WalMart for some more Matthew humping...that'll help...

Randi said...

Happy New Year, April. Think of it this way, hopefully things can only get better. Your Granny is in my thoughts.

supperswep said...

April,

A friend of mine had BP. They claim his was triggered by strees (he was going through a divorce with a nasty custody battle). I believe they tried steroids to relieve the swelling. I know it helped some, buthe was off work for at least 4 weeks. And I knwo he was vulnerable to infection after that, and he developed shingles. You are in my prayers

Supperswep

hotdrwife said...

Sorry to hear about your grandma! Keep us posted.

Mojotek said...

Hide and seek will ALWAYS be more competitive than hotdog eating. It's the sport of champions I tell you!

And on a lighter note, please keep us informed of your healing process...

schmims said...

I bet half of a face out of commission is frustrating. I probably would have resorted to an eye patch by now rather than manually closing my eye. I know lots of great pirate jokes.

What's a pirate's favortie movie?
ARRRRRmagedon.

What's a pirate's favorite piece of furniture?
ARRRRRm chair.

What's a pirate's favorite kind of sock?
ARRRRRRgyle!

What's a pirate's favorite soft drink.
Coke! ARRRRR!

College best friend and I were pretty drunk one night in our favorite bar. There's plenty more where that came from.

Hope you're only in the three week catagory.
*ginormous hugs!*

Bill said...

Even Brett tried to pitch in. A win and a TD pass versus Seattle. Although with Sherman being fired, it looks like Brett will retire.
But for me, at least the Badgers won and I am in the hunt for the college bowl pool. GO PENN STATE AND USC!
I'd say keep a stiff upper lip and all but...

anyhoo... Happy New Year... may 2006 be better than 2005.

A.J. said...

Stiff upper lip........... Am I a dick for thinking that's just a little funny? Nevermind, I know I'm a dick.

Still thinking extra happy-good thoughts for/of ya kiddo!

Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! »