Monday, January 16, 2006

The magical fruit

Who the hell thought of taking the beans out of chili and calling it beanless chili? Sure that name would make sense, chili with no beans = beanless chili, BUT chili is not chili without beans. If I cannot fart from eating a bowl of chili, then I don't want it, DAMMIT!!
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Remember the boy in my son's class, Adam, from this post? We went to his 8th birthday party yesterday and I was surprised to see that his parents seemed to be normal people. They weren't the white trash scumbags I thought they were going to be. Which brought me to this conclusion about Adam's parents; It doesn't matter what material possessions they may have. It doesn't matter what they look like. It doesn't even matter that they're over the age of 40. They're still white trash in my book for letting their second grade son listen to music containing violence, profanity, and lewd sexual acts. And they need to take parenting classes for getting Adam's ears pierced and buying him clothes that make him look like a mini thug.

I just sat there quietly looking at their little monster, thinking that one day they'll be visiting him in drug rehab or prison after he gets fucked in the ass against his free will (Just relax Adam and you'll eventually enjoy it). He'll probably have 5 different babies mamma's that he doesn't pay child support to. And even though I've all ready told him, I hope my son decides that this kid is bad news and he doesn't need friends like that. It didn't help that Adam's parents bought him a REAL PAINTBALL GUN for his birthday. Now Ethan is begging us for one. The kid is 8 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!!! He should NOT own a paintball gun. How damn irresponsible is that??
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I need to get a job related to football. I would LOVE working! LOVE IT!! Monday mornings would no longer be blah. I must admit that I am a bit depressed that the season is almost over. I wish I could get into another sport, but it's just not happening. I've liked football for as long as I can remember and other sports are just boring to me. *sigh*

The Packers fired their head coach, Mike Sherman, because they had their worst season (4-12) in 15 years. Which in my opinion is really fucked up because they had so many injuries of key players, but I suppose that was Sherman's fault. So then they hire the Offensive Coordinator of the 49ers, Mike McCarthy. Which makes NO FUCKING SENSE. Why fire someone for having a 4-12 record and hire someone who came from a team with the SAME FUCKING RECORD? I just don't get it, I say.

Saturday was THE BEST DAY OF THE SEASON!!!! Both of the teams I can't stand, LOST!! Thank you Redskins and Patriots!! Thank you both for being losers!

And finally a note for Jake Delhomme: I really would like to see your ass again before your season is over. If you could make this happen, I'd greatly appreciate it. I may even throw a blowjob your way if you happen to be in the Northern Virginia area. I'm sure my husband wouldn't mind! Thanks and have a wonderful day!

16 comments:

The Soviet said...

jake is a total hottie. the saints were SO wrong to let him go.

so wrong.

and the thought of blowing him is SO right.

so right.

The Soviet said...

and what the HELL are the packers thinking with mike mccarthy? i wasn't sad to see him leave when i was in new orleans. but it sounds like we might get sherm out of all this, so i'm ok with it now.

yay.

and jake is still SO right.

april said...

Soviet - Hee hee, it is so right, isn't it? But I totally agree with you about McCarthy. I mean, didn't they see the 49ers offense? HELLOOOOOO!! Sherman is a great coach and the Saints will be lucky to get him.

Randi said...

Dude my brother thought he was in G-Unit long before it even existed. He totally ended up in jail. Just like Adam will.

Mojotek said...

I think Adam's parents should hurry up and take him to a talk show and get him in one of those "Extreme Boot Camps". Believe me when I say that I know there's not much but a real ass whoopin' or ending up in jail that will turn a kid like that around... (and it usually ends up being the jail time unfortunately).

And is Delhomme really that hot? I mean, his name sounds like "Dell Homey" for Pete's sake... (I keed I keed).

april said...

Delhomme is not as hot as Adam Vinatieri, Joey Harrington, or David Carr, but he's still a cutie. I mean, he's no Mojotek or anything like that...... =)

pickett said...

Harrington, really. Maybe its that he can't complete a pass or something, but I just don't see it.

The Soviet said...

harrington was hot until we all realized how much he sucks ass as an nfl QB. david carr looks a lot better with short hair.

and it's pronounced jake del-OME. and i would like to give him dome.

i'm a saints guy, but living in houston, if i ran into Kris Brown in a dark alley, I can't apologize for what might happen.

april said...

Ok, I didn't realize we were basing the hotness on their playing ability, because I agree Harrington has really sucked ass since he's been in the NFL. However, he is still a sexy man AND he can play the piano which makes him uber hot in my book. I'm just a weirdo like that.

Joey Harrington
Joey playing the piano
David Carr Who I agree does look better with short hair.
Adam Vinatieri My personal favorite.

Dark Damian said...

Ooo, ooo, what about Tom Brady? He's dreamy.

(I couldn't resist)

Kira said...

April...why NOT get a job related to football??? I'm sure there's a dearth of hot women with great racks who can discuss football all day and all night, probably screaming out various football related things as they orgasm! And I bet it pays great, too. Hmmmm...radio and broadcast maybe? You HAVE to do better than the commentators they already have: "If they can just get the ball in the zone, they can win the game!" Duh, Einstein. I say go for it!

The Lily said...

I have to say that Kira makes an excellent point.

domesticdeity said...

I think we were sisters that were separated at birth!

fyrchk said...

Why aren't you heading to Ashburn right now and seeking employment? Why why why???

Oh, and I'll take sloppy seconds on Delhomme.

The Soviet said...

well, i'm not basing their entire hotness on their athletic ability but it always helps.

this year i finally sucked it up and thought, "you know, tom brady is actually quite attractive."

but i think matt leinart is going to come in and be the new "all-american qb" posterboy with his little dimples and his wannabe dynasty. If you want my professional opinion, I think he and Reggie Bush have a little something going on. Except Mattie's not playing QB on this drive.

schmims said...

If you hate your job that bad and don't get in trouble for emailing, send me yours and we'll chat. How do you think I make it through the day?