Monday, January 09, 2006

Wanna have a toe nail painting race?

*I find it quite comical and slightly ironic that Dick Cheney was hospitalized for shortness of breath which abbreviated is S.O.B.

*Can someone please tell me how anyone got Dick out of Richard? Or Peggy out of Margaret?

*I finally watched the movie Alexander this weekend and here are some of my observations:
-I LOVE Colin Farrell, but he looks like shit with blonde hair.
-Is it just me or did Angelina's accent sound Russian? Don't get me wrong, she's fucking HOT as usual, but her accent didn't seem to fit.
-I got a bit turned on with the way Jared Letto and Colin Farrell looked at each other. I wouldn't mind being in between the two of them for an hour or ten.
-Puke. That's what I wanted to do when they showed an elephants trunk get sliced off.
-Rosario Dawson has beautiful boobies.
-How is it that the characters in the movie all have nice teeth when the oral hygiene during the Alexander era couldn't have possibly been good? I think about this shit.

*I also saw the movie Dukes of Hazard. More observations because I'm just observant like that:
-Sean William Scott cannot, I repeat CANNOT pull off a country twang.
-Jessica Simpson has once again proved that you don't need any talent to be famous.
-I've a new found appreciation for Johnny Knoxville. I'd so do him in the back of the General Lee with Jessica Simpson as long as she didn't open her mouth. Never mind, I'll take Johnny all to myself. I don't think I'd be able to get past the "buffalos don't have wings" thing.

*Today makes day #13 of my face being stuck on stupid. (Schmims wanted to know)

17 comments:

Laurie said...

Ok....I'm with ya on the Jessica Simpson shit. I would just want to scream loudly in her face, spit and all, to show her my disdain. The bitch DOES have some nice legs and ass though. Gotta give her that. I can't wait until she has kids and gets fat, cuz it WILL happen.

Johnny Knoxville is hot in a naughty, greasy mechanic kinda way. I think his wiener would be big. I'm in.

The teeth issue in Alexander bothers me also. They should have made them look like the pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean. Every time those scallywags opened their mouths, I wanted to vomit. I'd still do Johnny Depp though, in pirate gear. The man is just begging for me to slap his ass...I can feel it.

That's enough. Just trying to equal your comments on my blog.
Love ya girlie!!!

Maine said...

Peggy comes from Margaret? I thought it was Meg. Then again, I don't know shit.

I saw a guy the other day anmed Richard Cox. I then giggled, and pulled my family over so they could also look and giggle.

Rosario Dawson has beautiful everything. I wouldn't mind being sandwiched between her and... well, a giant sandwich for a few hours. Damn... she's just... I mean... damn.

Bill said...

I could not finish watching Alexander. I tried I did, but it was so bad I just didn't feel like wasting time.

On the "Dukes of Hazard", not a classic movie, but I did enjoy the extras. I think the "pot smoking" version would have been funny. I loved the smoke house. I have to say I was a bit creeped out by Beau's obsession with the General. Did anyone else find the Atlanta highway scene funny?

Macca said...

"... of my face being stuck on stupid."

Classic line. If you ever do an "April's Most Famous Quotes" post, that needs to be near the top. =)

schmims said...

I watched a rerun of the Dukes of Hazard a few months ago. How did we ever think that show was cool? I used to pretend that I was Daisy Duke and my brother was Luke and we drove our General Lee around the neightborhood in cowboy boots. Looking back, that show is so red-neck!

Itchy said...

I can't hear "The Dukes of Hazzard" and not think of that terrible cell phone commercial where the dude has the theme song as his ringer and then he sings along to it while looking up...like the words are on his ceiling or something...and he just looks goofy. And it irritates me. Much like Jessica Simpson.

And by my Mom's timeline you should be over the stupid face by tomorrow...let's hope Mom's right. (though I will admit she's a bit on the crazy side these days...)

Bill said...

I remember watching the first episode when TNT started to rerun the show. There were so many jokes I didn't get when I was younger. I remember the one line that was something like, "If you weren't my cousin Daisy..." with a reply "like that ever stopped our family before."

I admit I was hoping for a classic Hazzard county speed trap that brought some big named star to the Boars nest for a special performance.

Maine said...

That commercial Itchy's talking about makes me hurt. The guy says, "That's my theme song." No, it's not! It's the Dukes of Hazzard's theme song! You can't double up on a theme song! OHH!!

The Soviet said...

I used to think Sean William Scott was hot. And I don't think Johnny Knoxville is hung. Just a hunch. Cute, though. I'd still do him. And I also would love to be in the middle of a Leto-Farrell sandwich.

But Colin has to slap my ass ... a lot. That's just the rule.

april said...

Laurie-I'm glad I'm not the only one who notices the teeth thing.

Maine-There are a lot of Margarets who call themselves Peggy. I don't know why. I don't care for Rosario's face, but her boobies are mouth watering.

Bill-I found the Atlanta highway scene hysterically funny.

Macca-I'm glad you liked it, although I feel the comment is appropriate for the look.

Schmims-It is so redneck, but I think that was the point of it. I used to pretend I was Wonder Woman.

Itchy-That guy does look goofy. Cross your fingers that I wake up with a normal face tomorrow.

Bill-It's amazing how many things we watched at kids that we meant for adults.

Maine-You're such a nut!

Randi said...

A friend and I just had the Dick conversation. As in why wouldn't you change it and how you can get away with saying to said man "That sucks, Dick" and it would be perfectly ok.

Amanda said...

You know that sterilization gun that Kira keeps promising? I think Seann William Scott and Jessica Simpson are the perfect size for target practice.

Oh, Colin Farrell is almost as hot as Matthew...almost.

fyrchk said...

Ummm...I lusted Johnny first. You will have to wait.

Miss R said...

I can't stand Jessica Simpson. I don't care how good-looking folks think she is, stupidity is a HUGE turn-off.

I will confess that I LOVED the Dukes of Hazard. I refuse to see this spoof on it because it is nothing of what the original was meant to be. I don't recall ANYONE making sexual passes at Uncle Jessie and I have seen some of the re-runs when I can't sleep at night.

Bill - I don't recall any incest jokes. I don't think Cooter, who became the christian conservative congressman, would have approved.

Kira said...

Amanda, my sterilization gun will run out of ammo within its first hour of operation!

I used to love the Dukes of Hazard. I don't think I can sit down and watch a remake wherein the General Lee's doors are opened. At least, I was told that the GL's doors were OPENED in the movie, and that alone was enough to make me run. Oh, and Jessica Simpson as Daisy is just plain wrong.

Laurie said...

Girl....I don't know how else to get in touch with you. My aol mail is laurielamb1 and that's also my AIM name.

Anonymous said...

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