Friday, January 27, 2006

We be standing on your front porch yellin', bring 'em out

The D.C. area Metro system is looking for a person to be the "voice" heard announcing commands and such. (example: Door's closing) One of the traffic reporters on a local radio station is one of the 10 finalists to be chosen as the new "voice." She was asked if Metro was going to pay the winner and her reply was, "Well they said since the contest was open to amateurs and professionals, it would be a voluntary job."

How the fuck do you become a professional Metro command announcer? Do people actually aspire to be one of these some day?

Teacher: "Ok class, let's go around the room and say what you want to be when you grow up. Timmy, I'll start with you."

Timmy: "I wanna be the guy who says DOOR'S CLOSING on the Metro!"


Clairebell please sit down for the next part.

I was admiring a co-workers really cute pink shoes.

Me: "I really like your shoes."
CW: "Thanks, they're Steven Madden's."
Me: "Is he any relation to John Madden?"

That's a valid question people!! So maybe I'm the only one who doesn't know who Steve Madden is, but maybe he should make wicked football video games if he wants to be a household name!!


Deep Throat of the Day: What if ugly is contagious?


Itchy said...

RE: Your Deep Throat of the Day, have you been to West Virginia?!?!

OK...they should totally revoke my WVian status for that one, but have you seen these people? It's a bit scary. And I'm a bit rude, so what?

Randi said...

I confess I'm not a football gal per se but I am a shoe whore so I wondered if John Madden was related to Steve, too. hehe.

Grant said...

I'd volunteer to provide the voice if I could word the announcements myself. "Door's closing, morons. Feck off!"

Maine said...

That reminds me of that commercial where they show all the little kids saying what they want to be when they grow up and the kids are like:

"I want to be a yes man."
"I want to sit in a cube and file all day."
"I want to claw my way up to middle management."


april said...

Itchy - Oh yes, I've been to WV. It's only a 45 minute drive for me in 2 different directions. However, contagious is different than genetic.

Randi - Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone.

Grant - That would be THE.BEST. metro voice EVER.

Maine - Then there's Ethan who says: "I want to be a boobie man." True story.

fyrchk said...

I am cracking up imagining you seriously asking that question and then being disgusted when they don't know who John Madden is.

Itchy said...

OH...genetics. Forgot about that. Though I do know of at least one example of an attractive person that moved to WV and then somehow morphed into the ugliest thing I've ever seen.

I think I'm narrowing down where in VA you may live close to where my sister is (she's sammiched between VA and MD). I could stalk you when I visit her next...

The Lily said...


Because we share feelings, I will ignore that incident EVER occurred.

Actually, my mom did the same thing but repeatedly. Even after I bought her a pair of S. madden's fabric slides:

M: Oh! Are these the Dave Madden's you have been talking about?
CB: Steve. mom. Steve.

rinse. repeat.

Anonymous said...

Ugly is contagious. It's called improper breeding.

Miss R said...

April - I probably would have asked the same thing about the shoes being a bigger profootball fan than knowing brand name shoes. However, I have learned from CB. The best thing to do, is take her shoe shopping with you! I don't even know some of the proper style names, but she's a good tutor. I think my chick card is going to be revoked after this confession.

Main - that commercial cracks me up!

Oh, April, only your son would have that response! BWAHAHAHAHA

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