Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Weapon of Choice

Who needs cleavage when I have one of these?

After reading this story you'll know why.

I suppose being an amputee has benefits other than half off pedicures and being more flexible.

Deep Throat of the Day: If opinions are like assholes, are men like opinions?

24 comments:

JJ said...

"If opinions are like assholes, are men like opinions?"

I don't think all men are assholes. Some are just bumbling jackasses. So the answer to your question is no.

schmims said...

Totally

fyrchk said...

Plus, you get a much bigger laugh when you take your leg off and wave your nub at people. I sure as hell can't do that.

Maine said...

I'm like an opinion.

venomous said...

I watched a special on discovery health last night about a triple amputee. His Dr. made running legs for him, swimming legs that you can attach flippers to and legs with "knees" so that he can go down stairs. Modern medicine/technology is amazing!

Not all men are assholes...just most of them.

Randi said...

So when you wear pants are you carrying a concealed weapon? Awesome. BTW, totally just realized you used to have the "gimpy" blog I stalked. I'm retarded.

Macca said...

More "flexible"? hmmm...

Itchy said...

I apologize if this is "wrong" of me...but I saw this story yesterday and totally thought of you...

april said...

JJ - I don't think all men are assholes either and I would agree that some are bumbling jackasses. You not being one, of course.

Schmims - Right on!!

Frychk - Do you think that stump shaking would get me out of a ticket?

Maine - And that opinion would be?

Venomous - I have seen the legs for swimming, but I've never been much of a swimmer. Although as I mentioned before on Clairebell's blog, I do not swim in circles sans my right foot.

Randi - I suppose if I used it as one, it could be a concealed weapon, but that situation hasn't arised. Ok, so once it did and I broke the bastards nose with one swift kick, but he deserved. And yes, I am Gimpy. I had to give up that blog due to bitches at work finding it.

Macca - You'd be surprised what one can do without an achilles tendon.

Itchy - It would have been wrong of you to NOT think of me!!!

Opaco said...

Me personally, i'd rather you throw your cleavage at me. But hey, i'm different!

and no, men aren't allowed to have opinions.

mikey said...

When you mentioned the "benefits" of being an amputee, all I could think of was this.

And then I thought of that coroner on CSI, Robert David Hall.

And then I thought "I'm sure April's cleavage is much better than his."

The Lily said...

Hmm, and you CAN'T fit a cute heel on that or it has been suggested that you DON'T put a cute heel on that?

Because I know I would try my damndest...

A.J. said...

Cleavage. :)

Asshole? Me? Sometimes, however I really consider myself more of a dork/douchebag combo.

Amanda said...

I know a lot of opinions :)

pickett said...

Deep thoughts of the day are awesome!

The Soviet said...

Men are hot. But some are assholes.

And my friend designs the web site that you linked to.

april said...

Opaco - Men can have opinions, they just have to be the same as his significant other! hee hee just kidding.

Mikey - Thanks for the link. I've actually been to that site before when they were having auditions for the next Pirates of the Carribean. But I never went. I think I should have for the chance to meet Johnny Depp.

Clairebell - I can only wear shoes with a one inch heel height, so my selection is limited.

AJ - You're definitely a better douche bag than asshole. =)

Amanda - Me too!!!

Picket - Thank you very much!!

Soviet - Your friend should add some color to the site. Or is color not allowed on websites based in Utah? hee hee just kidding.

Bill said...

Pirates of the Carribean 3 costarring Peg the female pirate. Watch as she swills rum and shoves her peg up...

Well there's a happy thought. Have a great weekend, I am off to the Great White North tomorrow... I know it is more brown than white these days, but what can a guy do.

Mojotek said...

The cop knocked down a double-amputee? That pig should be thrown in the plink!

OK, I know the dude fell on his own, but still... what does the cop expect the guy to do, NOT use his extremely expensive prosthetic devices to unsuccessfully assault a police officer? I mean, COME ON!

The Lily said...

Boooooooooooooo!

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