Friday, January 06, 2006

Where'd it go?

On a lovely Sunday afternoon, roughly 3 years ago, my husband and I were "gettin' busy" on the couch while Ethan was taking a nap in his room. (If you are asking yourself "busy doing what?" then read no further) Anyway, we were all into the moment when we heard the pitter-patter of Ethan's 4 y/o feet. Then BAM there he was right in front of our faces. I probably shouldn't have done what I did next, but I felt like a teenager who had just gotten busted by her parents.

I hopped up (I was on top) and started to walk into the other room. Leaving my husband there naked with nothing to cover him up. At least I was wearing an over-sized t-shirt. Ethan looked him, then looked at me, then back at him, and again at me. We both must have looked like we were in trouble. Ethan walked over to me, bent over and started trying to look up under my shirt.

Me: "What are you doing?"
Ethan: "Where did he put it?"
Me: "Put what?"
Ethan: "His wiener! Where'd Daddy put his wiener under here?"
Me: "He didn't, that's gross!"
Ethan: "Yes he did! I saw it! You were hiding Daddy's wiener under your shirt! Where'd you put it?" (still trying to look under my shirt)

HOLY. SHIT. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. So I said what came to my head first.....

Me: "Are you hungry? How about I make you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?"
Ethan: "No, I'm not hungry. Daddy, where did Mommy hide your wiener?"
Me: "LET'S GO TO MCDONALD'S!!"

It worked. It's amazing how hungry kids will get when you bribe them with a fun place like McDonald's.

22 comments:

schmims said...

THAT IS FRICKIN' HILARIOUS!

Although I thought the game was called hide the salami.

Kira said...

LMFAO terrific!

So, where DID you hide his wiener? Huh, huh? :)

april said...

Schmims-That's all I need is Ethan running around thinking hide the salami is a fun game for kids to play!

Kira-It's a seeeecret........=)

schmims said...

I can just imagine when he finds out what that is really all about and then realizes he caught his parents doing the deed!

Laurie said...

HAHAHAHAHA! In a similar twist of fate, when my daughter was about 18 months old, she walked in on me straddling her daddy while he was sitting in a chair. We didn't know she was there until we heard, ever so softly, "Chk chk chk ride the pony chk chk chk ride the pony"
Apparently, she thought mama was a cowgirl. Yee Haw!!!!

fyrchk said...

Everyday you point out reasons to me as to why I shouldn't have kids.

april said...

Schmims-And remember the broken flashlight story? One day he'll realize that he had my vibrator in his hands too. Poor kid. I've fucked him up for life, haven't I?

Laurie-You naughty cowgirl!! =)

Fyrchk-You should have them, just be prepared for sporatic trips to McDonalds.

The Soviet said...

omg, april, too choice. that's what we get for making kids play hide and seek. naturally they're going to want to seek what was hidden.

and from the sound of it, you have a very smart child! i think i would just thought my parents were practicing for local theater (we had steamy local theater).

A.J. said...

At least you didn't have to give the explanation "Sweetie, daddy was feeling a little deflated, and mommy was just trying to fill him back up"

It's a good thing your "broken flashlight" didn't have a rabbit or a dolphin jutting off the side of it. That would have been fun to explain.

hotdrwife said...

I'm just laughing.

A LOT.

Randi said...

oh shit! Busted! haha. good one.

Miss R said...

First thought (supporting Fyrchk) - Other people's children continue to give me reasons to maintain my birth control.

Second - Don't knock the rabbit, A.J.! Rabbits are gooooood. Oh, don't forget about the beavers either.

Third - ride 'em cowgirl!

Last - Poor Ethan is scarred for life...and I think my brain is too.

pickett said...

I'm with R on the rabbits.

What a great story, the when Ethan gets married, you'll have to tell his wife that one.

jadedprimadonna said...

ROFLMAO - now I definitely needed to laugh like that today! Thank you, April!!!!

Mojotek said...

Bwahahahahahaha! That is some hilarious shit!

McDonald's? Where, when?

schmims said...

Marit and I were talking about our invisible internet friends on the phone Friday night and I asked her it she read you post. She went and checked it out and we spent the next ten minutes laughing histarically. And it's still funny on Monday.

How's the face?

Bill said...

I take a couple days off, and I miss this... No more funny posts while I am away from work.

Dark Damian said...

I just hurt myself laughing at this. I'm serious, I have a rib cramp on my right side from doubling over. My wife and I have had a couple of near misses, but we haven't been cold-busted just yet. That might be a trip to McDonalds followed immediately by a trip to Chuck E. Cheese (aka Satan's Foyer).

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