Monday, February 27, 2006

WANTED: A RELIABLE TOOTH FAIRY

Ethan lost another tooth on Friday. I did not know this until Saturday when he woke up holding a tooth and no money, wondering why the Tooth Fairy didn't visit. I looked at hubby who gave me the "oops" look. Quickly I responded, "The Tooth Fairy can't take your teeth until both parents know. Since I didn't even know that you lost a tooth, she didn't come. I bet she'll come tonight." He was satisfied with that answer.

Sunday morning he woke up with another moneyless hand. Ethan said, "The Tooth Fairy has some explaining to do!" OH SHIT!! We forgot AGAIN!! (See asshole parents) Of course I had to come to the Tooth Fairies defense. "I'm sure she was just really busy. And since she just came by here last night, she didn't want to make 2 trips in a row." He said, "Why not?" Fuck if I know. (I didn't say that) What I did say was, "I don't know but I bet she'll be here tonight." Again, he was satisfied.

This morning I went in to wake him up and he immediately lifted up the pillow to see if the Tooth Fairy finally came. (See even bigger asshole parents) Yup, no fucking money. Ethan said, "Someone needs to fire this Tooth Fairy because she's not doing her job!" While Ethan was brushing his teeth, I put $2 in a ziplock bag and wrote his name on it. Then I stuffed it between his mattress and headboard. I asked Ethan if he had checked in the cracks for his tooth money. He hadn't, so he found the bag and was happy.

I'm such an asshole. Please tell me I'm not the only parent who has forgotten to leave tooth money. Lie to me, I don't care.

Deep Throat of the Day: Kids get paid for losing their teeth but as we get older we pay to keep our teeth. Doesn't seem right, does it?

17 comments:

pickett said...

I have to commend you on the quick thinking. Great idea to have him search the cracks for money that was moved during the night. Problem is you'll have to remember the zip lock bag for next time.

No worries. I have no children so this hasn't happened to me, but I am certain that is only a YET. I can see the same happening to us.

Maine said...

I did that to my mom once. I never told her the tooth came out, but I was hella pissed when the Tooth Fairy came up short on me.

mystery said...

yes, I have done this, actually more than once. definitely made me feel like crap. I even did it for four nights in a row! so don't feel bad

Lisa said...

Oh girl, I have so done this. As my son was convulsing in the bedroom floor I rushed into the bathroom and wrapped money around his toothbrush, and told him that meant he needed to brush better.

Mojotek said...

That's a hilarious story! But hell, he ended up happy in the end, and maybe you can still convince him that the bag was there from the first night.

But then you can't use the trick again, because he'll always check the cracks. In any case, good save!

Grant said...

I only got a quarter when I was a kid. TF's rates have gone up. If you forget again, just say the fairies have been on strike and are behind on their route.

Alicat said...

That's a tough one. Not having children myself I have never had this problem. I do think you saved it pretty well though. Good luck next time, you know he will be checking every nook and cranny for the TF's money.

Randi said...

If nothing else, many props on the lies you told. Fuckin' tooth fairy.

212designs said...

nope guilty too

lol

A.J. said...

No kids myself (as far as I know I may be sterile), however if I did have them, instead of money, I'd leave something more fun....like a pound of bacon. Now don't you feel better?

schmims said...

My parents forgot on several occasion and used the excues, "well it's such a small tooth she must not have even seen it". My arguement was that it was in a box with her name on it. How could she miss that one?

And who the crap ever thought to put a tooth under a pillow and turn up money?

Kira said...

Ok, I never have forgotten the money even though I'm forgetful. How? Well, the second I put Ari to bed when she's lost a tooth and we tuck it in together, I run to my room and put a dollar bill on my pillow so that I won't forget to put it in her room when I head to bed.

However...

a) I forgot her entire tooth once, so beat that! She gave me her tooth that she lost IN a restaurant, and I placed it in a plastic cup...then promptly left it on the table and drove the remaining two hours home without it. WOohooo! As my daughter cried, I explained to her that the tooth fairy didn't like to get her wings dirty, so she'd not be able to get it in the dumpster. Instead, she had to leave a note that said what happened to the tooth and should stick THAT under the pillow instead. She bought it, and my ass was saved.

b) my sister forgot my niece allegra's dollar when she lost a tooth when Ari and I were there. This was before Jared was even conceived and Ari was a baby. Anyway, I was sleeping in Allegra's bed and Allegra was sleeping in her sister's room. My sister forgot Allegra's tooth, so I saved her ass by placing a dollar bill under my pillow. When Allegra was crying about the no money issue and Rose looked deflated, I said, have you checked my bed? Maybe she's confused! I mean, I'm sleeping in your bed and that's where you usually leave them! Yay, she found it and perked up, and life was good.

dukethor said...

Hey, me too! So, when it happened, I asked Alyssa, "Well, did you brush your teeth last night?" "Yeah!" "Really?" "No." "Oh. Do you think that might be the reason?"

Just like me. I screw up, and then find a reason to blame my daughter.

Reminds me of one of those Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy.

"When a child asks, "Why does it rain?", I think it's fun to say, "It's because God's crying". And, when they ask, "Why is God crying?", I think it's fun to say, "I don't know, but I'll bet it was something you did."

schmims said...

If I ever have kids I'm not telling them about the tooth fairy.

mackeydoodle said...

I did forget ...2 time in a row.D'uh!
Brain fart!

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. film editing classes

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. » »