Friday, February 24, 2006

You'd better back up, bitch!!

I'm working at a different office today, Infectious Disease again. I know this is only the second time, but shit it's INFECTIOUS DISEASE!! Why would anyone want to work here? It's called infectious for a reason. Fortunately for me there's no patients today. I had to meet the girl I'm filling in for outside of the building for her to let me in. Not only was she 25 minutes late, but she said, "Thanks for helping out, I'm so sick." GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME WITH YOUR "SICK" ASS!! She works in this INFECTIOUS DISEASE office EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. people!! Who knows what nasty little germs are radiating from her infected little body? Infectious germs just waiting to disease my ass. Holy shit, I'm going to need to be quarantined.

Then the Health Department called. I was waiting for the lady to tell me to stay put while the CDC sends over their emergency contamination people. She didn't, but she was acting a little shady. I bet she's on to me.

I'm going to go now. I suddenly got really tired, and I've just sneezed. The infectious is infecting me ALREADY!! There's gotta be a bottle of Antibacterial Lysol with my name all over it.

Deep Throat of the Day: Paranoid?

15 comments:

Maine said...

I'm not sure I should open emails from you today. You might be sending out viruses.

Bill said...

Maybe they have some super antibacterial and antiviral drugs you can use to kill their infectious diseases. And make sure you wash your hands.

May you return to the less sickly world soon.

Lisa said...

Two sneezes justifies going home!

Grant said...

You just need to update your wardrobe.

april said...

Maine: My viruses will find you. One way or another, they're gonna getcha getcha getcha getcha....

Bill: There is a world less sickly?

Lisa: Please let my boss know this.

Grant: Do you think they have them in purple?

Alicat said...

Interesting. You should wear one of those mask thingies. I would have the second I walked in the door. But then again that's what 2.5 years of microbiology will do to you. I wish I would have finished that degree. I should go back but hearing your story makes me glad I am not in infectious diseases...

Coley said...

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean you're wrong. I'd demand my own personal oxygen, were I you.
And remember, germs hate bitches. So, the bitchier you are, the less likely you are to get sick.
At least that's my theory. Just ask anyone at my office.

Randi said...

Ew! I hope you don't end up sickie face! Hypochondria is a sheisty little mistress.

Itchy said...

And I thought it was gross when I had to watch a bloodborne pathogens video!! EWWW!

fyrchk said...

When you go back to your office, snort, sneeze, and cough a lot. When they ask you what's wrong, say, "I don't know. I felt FINE before I went to the ID office."

hotdrwife said...

Ah, I worked down the hall form ID for years. The research part of it all. They were always rolling little rats and mice by with crazed looks in their eyes.

I couldn't take the same elevator with them after a while, but I could ride down with a dead body. Hmm, go figure.

Sassy One said...

Erlack! I recommend a "sars" mask..for your own protection..or one of those hamster balls...keep you in a bubble!

Traffic Goddess said...

I think you should have a mouse for on your desk...like a "stunt" mouse. Teach him to play dead. That way, if anyone annoys you, you can give the mouse the "signal", react with a wide-eyed grimace and point to a sign that says, "if the mouse dies, run like hell". Guaranteed to get you some peace and quiet.

Mojotek said...

I never got why anyone would want to work in a place like that either... The odds of eventually getting exposed to some nasty ass disease are just too high.

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