Monday, March 13, 2006


Ethan spent Saturday night with the boy, Damian, I've mentioned before in this post. Shortly after I dropped Ethan off at Damian's house, he came back home. When I saw them pull up, my first thought was that he did something wrong. Then I saw him holding a wash cloth in his mouth and I new he'd hurt himself. Come to find out he totaled Damian's go-cart by running it into a tree going 25 mph and now has a chunk of his tongue bitten off. Don't worry, he's ok.

Someone PLEASE explain to me why a mother thinks it's ok to let a child, A FUCKING SEVEN YEAR OLD CHILD, who is NOT HER OWN, operate a go-cart in a WOODED FUCKING AREA without ASKING the parent of the said child if it's ok?!?!?!?!?!? This is the SAME mother who won't let her 7 y/o son say the pledge of allegiance in the morning with the rest of the school, participate in ANY holiday parties that his class may have, or do any other thing that goes against the fucked up beliefs that the Jehovah's have. But she'll let my kid drive a fucking go-cart? OH, I forgot that operating a moving vehicle isn't as detrimental as handing out Valentine's candy to his class.

THEN when I was complaining to my husband about it, his grandmother and brother were standing there and decided to throw their 2 cents in and tell me that I shouldn't be so mad because he's a boy and that's what boys do and when he (his brother) was 7 he was riding 4-wheelers. OH YEAH?? Well you don't even brush your fucking TEETH you nasty piece of shit hillbilly!!

Mother fucking cocksucking rednecks!! I don't give a FUCK what those retarded bastards were doing when they were 7! Any NORMAL person would ASK the parent of a SEVEN year old if it was ok for him to drive a fucking go-cart. At which point I would've said NO and my son would have his whole tongue intact.

To keep on with my ranting, yesterday I went out for dinner to a small, fairly new restaurant close to home. On the menu it read that one of the sides was sautèed vegetables. When I asked the waitress what the sautèed vegetables consisted of, this is what she said;

Waitress: "What do you mean?"
Me: "Exactly which vegetables are sautèed."
Waitress: "Ummmm, just the usual. You know."
Me: "No, no I don't know. That's why I'm asking."
Waitress: "Carrots and stuff like that."
Me: "Stuff like that?"
Waitress: "Yeah, carrots and string beans."
Me: "Is that it?"
Waitress: "No there's other stuff, but I'm not sure what it is."
Me: "Have you had it before?"
Waitress: "Oh yeah and it's really good."
Me: "So you've eaten it and you've served it, but you don't know what other vegetables are in it other than carrots, "stuff" and string beans?"
Waitress: (giggled) "Yeah, I guess so." (giggled again)

Deep Throat of the Day: Am I living in the fucking twilight zone??


Ron said...

Hey April, come sit by me, I'm obviously sitting in the same zone. If you haven't read my entry from last night it's got the same amount of vile anger in it.

Come sit next to me, we'll get drunk and plan mean and horrible things to make us feel better.

Maine said...

I... think you just might be in the Teilight Zone...

Bill said...

I remember doing some things at friends houses that my mom wouldn't have approved of... I would say that my parents knew and were ok with it. Of course where we lived and the fact that my friend's parents were much more lax helped.
Yes, I'd like a serving of sauteed mystery veggies. Okay... maybe not.

Randi said...

Sorry to hear about Ethan's tongue... that sounds pretty terrible. As far as stupid people serving us in retail or restaurants, it truly is a shame but reality.

Dark Damian said...

WOW. I thought you lived in Virginia, not West Virginia. Here's my question: if they're JWs, for what occassion did they give the go-cart to the son? They don't celebrate holidays and birthdays. Did they just say "Here, Damian - try not to kill yourself"? No fanfare? And I'm with you - if someone just allowed my 6YO to drive a motorized vehicle without mentioning it to me, I'd have my size 13 foot camping out in their ass. Hell, I'd make a full-blown KOA Kampsite up in that bitch.

As for the waitress...she already has to remember your order and her name. What more do you want from her? Damn, Ape. Cut her some slacker. I mean slack.

No, I think I really did mean slacker.

Itchy said...

OK. It doesn't matter what other people let their children do at what age. That's irrelevant. To not ask the parent of the other child whether or not they can operate a go-cart is just plain stupid. I just don't understand why people don't use their brains any more. Or brush their teeth...

That said...I had a go-cart and it was awesome. HeeHaw!

fyrchk said...

Honey...I've been out where you live and it IS the fucking twilight zone.

The vegetable thing: all I could think of was Forrest Gump saying, "Peas and carrots."

As far as Ethan goes...It'll just make him to that much more of a badass that the girls will be swooning over. And I think you should take the pig leg over there and beat the mom about the head with it.

schmims said...

Dude, why'd you let him even hang out with such a weirdo? Did he have to get his tongue sewn back on? Or was it not that bad?

april said...

Ron: I'm on my way!

Maine: What's the difference?

Bill: Your parents smoked the wacky tobacky, didn't they?

Randi: Ethan's ok, it's just a small piece bitten off.

DD: koa campsite....hahahahaha.

Itchy: You do that hee haw thing pretty damn good.

Fyrchk: It could be a thing Ethan uses to pick up women. "When I was 7 I was in an accident that injured my tongue, but it really enhanced my oral skills if ya know what I mean...."

Schmims: I wasn't going to not let Ethan hang out with Damian just because of his religious belief. Unless of course he was in some kind of satanic cult. I had no idea that the mom would let Ethan get on a go-cart. Shit, I had no idea they even HAD a go-cart. And no, his tongue wasn't that bad. just a small piece bitten off of the side. Thanks for asking. =)

schmims said...

Oh, I didn't realize this non-participation thing had to do with his religious beliefs.

april said...

Schmims: I'm sorry. I'm sure this didn't come across too clear. Between it being Monday, me being pissed and tired, and just not a good writer, I have no excuse. =) But yeah, he's a Jehovah's Witness, so his mom doesn't let him do any of the fun stuff in school. Poor kid.

Anonymous said...

oh, april, don't worry. jehovah will restore ethan's tongue. but not for his birthday or christmas or even flag day.

just because it's like, a day, and stuff.

Miss Sassy said...

My roomie gives me the waitress stories from the other end and they sound just as retarded!!!

"the tomatoes come on the side? Can I get them chopped into my omlettE? thanks"
::order comes::
"where are my tomatoes? you said they come on the side!!!!! take this back and get my tomatoes!"


What happened to Ethan isn't funny but a giggling moron certainly is!

Kira said...

Ok, look, the waitress' job is to know the content of the food. That's what she gets her tip for: facilitating the meal. If she didn't know, she should have said she didn't and gone and found out!

April, did you ever get my email response a week ago? Just checking!

As far as the go cart thing, it sounds like they're a part of my ex's family. They think a fantastic present for a five year old is a motorcycle. Um. No. Look, I can't protect my child from the world, nor do I want to, but there are just some things that are DUMB ASS to do and some that are not. A seven or eight year old child doesn't have the judgement necessary to drive a moving vehicle. And I don't care about anybody's charming ass stories on how they drove their gocart from age three to thirty and never had an accident...good for you. You lucked out. I want to save my child's luck quotient on something like "Semi-truck misses Ariana as it hurdles out of control" rather than "fucking moron shits think my daughter should drive a go cart, give it to her, and she only misses a piece of her tongue."

(oh my, I think I'm cranky again this am...sigh...I should avoid posting when I'm pissy...)

Go Cart. Fantastic! Tell your husband's yahoo relatives that next time your son wants to have a fun day, he's taking their cars and the only way they get 'em back in one piece is if they buy toothbrushes and use them. Also, since boys will be boys, tell 'em you're buying him a dragunov, a special model with a grenade launcher on it too.

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