Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Grape Ape

The other night on HBO, Real Sex was showing these people who have a fetish for horses. Now I'm not talking about fucking horses, or doing anything that involves real horses. I'm talking about people who like to act like horses for the purpose of being turned on sexually. These weird fuckers walk around with these hooves that actually get horse shoes hammered onto them. They nay like horses, they wear saddles like horses, and get walked by a leash thing with a bar in their mouths like horses. It's by far one of the craziest things I've ever seen. And here I thought people who had an amputee fetish were out there. Yes there is such a thing, and they're called Acrotomophiliacs. I have yet to meet one. EDIT: Fyrchk has brought it to my attention that I have in fact met an Acrotomophiliac. And that's all I'm saying about that.
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I've been feeling so tired, bitchy and just blah lately. So I would like to apologize for being so negative. I seemed to have lost my rose colored glasses, but I'll find them soon.

Speaking of being tired, I'm so tired that I could probably get a huge dick rammed in my ass without lube or manipulation, and I wouldn't even have the energy to wince. Now THAT'S tired.

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Today is MACCA'S BIRTHDAY!! Please take some time out of your busy day and tell that sexy stud happy birthday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. MACCA GOOSE!!

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Deep Throat of the Day: If you put your foot up somebody's ass, isn't your day going to suck just as much as theirs?

20 comments:

Macca said...

Thanks for the shoutout, and the open invitation for anal rape. lol

Thanks again. =)

Maine said...

You've probably met a few amputee fetishists. They probably just didn't tell you because they'd fear that you'd get scared and run off before they get a chance to properly hit on you. Besides, that's not the kind of fetish that people normally go public with. It's not like group sex or anal.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that the people who act like horses aren't the weird ones. The weird ones are the people that want to fuck people who are pretending they're horses. What does that say about you? You're really into beastiality, but have an allergy to the fur?

Bill said...

it only sucks if you leave it up there ass.

Get better soon, have a drink for PI day (3/14=3.14) .

Better yet celebrate Purim where you are required to drink so much you can't tell the difference between Mordechai and Haman. Not that i could before I started but it is an excuse. There should be lots of drunk orthodox Jews tonight.

Itchy said...

Ok April...there's um...something I didn't mention when we met...I just didn't know how to bring it up...but...I was very turned on knowing that you....are missing part of your body. Makes me hot...I'm hot right now. So...if you'll just put this sadle on me we can go to town. :D

The Soviet said...

there really is a fetish for everything.

A.J. said...

Ok what you wrote was funny enough, but then I went to the Acrotomophiliacs link. I read further and near the middle of the page it said "this sex-related article is a STUB!"!!! I blew snot!!

fyrchk said...

Smile gorgeous. It'll get better. Want me to dance for you?

hotdrwife said...

I will not click on that link .... I will not clikc on that link ....

OH MY GOD!!! I clicked it, and what the hell?? I'm at a loss for words.

word verification: nogiddyupherefucker

Miss Sassy said...

I saw that special coming on and was afraid the roomies would catch me watching it and FREAK OUT. Just the description had ME thinking "W.T.F!!!" Glad I didn't get a brainful of those kinky images to flash back to whenever I get doggie =)

The funk goes away. We all lose our rosies sometimes, right?? Spring is coming, that will surely help!!
Sounds retarded, but if you do more, you forget to get tired. No one deserves to miss out on hating anal rape!

Alicat said...

I shoved my foot up my boss' ass today and to tell you the truth I feel much better now.

Sassy One said...

Acting like a horse you say? Intersting...I wonder if they'd be interested in becoming glue too? I don't think I'd mind too much being whipped with a riding crop, but I draw the line at bits and horseshoes!

Mr Vholes said...

Now that's something--I get insomnia from time to time and I have this vague memory of watching that horse thing late one night. It was so strange I wasn't sure whether it was a half-dream or something like that. Is that show for real or is it a gag? Are my neighbors doing this behind closed doors?

Well, it's California, so I guess I just answered my owne question.

NWJR said...

That show scares me.

Randi said...

I recently read about a woman who climaxed to the sound of ripping paper. I wish I had that problem.

hotdrwife said...

I think that show is real. I could be wrong (never), but I believe people can be just that nuts.

What's the name of the group of people who dress up as animals and have orgies? I've read about this somewhere ... they call their orgies "furpiles"?

A doctor I worked for once put that article on my best with a note that said, "Sick shit. - LLK"

No kidding.

Oh, and I'm with Randi. I want to have the paper ripping problem.

Lisa said...

I mean DAMN! When did a good fucking stop being enjoyable? Now you have to be a horse or cut off a foot WTF??

Bill said...

I was going to let it go, but damn, I thought guys were lazy and wanted things easy. But orgasms from ripping paper, that is just too much. You need to work for that pleasure just a little.

Billy Boy said...

Real Sex is one wacky show!

Mojotek said...

"Speaking of being tired, I'm so tired that I could probably get a huge dick rammed in my ass without lube or manipulation, and I wouldn't even have the energy to wince. Now THAT'S tired."

Wow.... that REALLY IS tired. Now, could you explain the term 'manipulation' for me? Feel free to use details...

april said...

Mojotek: The meaning of manipulation when referencing the anal sphincter is this: The use of a finger(s) to penetrate the anus to the point where the muscle is rather relaxed and prepped for a penis.

Does that work for you?