Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I'm gonna need to SEE it

I see so many vehicles with NASCAR stickers plastered on the windows and bumpers. This looks tacky and drives me crazy. Not as crazy as the W'04 stickers, but damn near close. Why put this shit on your car? I don't understand. My stepdad is a HUGE Mark Martin fan and of course he dislikes Jeff Gordon. Anytime that I've been in the car with him and we spot a 24 sticker (that's Jeff Gordon for those of you who don't know) he makes a comment along the lines of, "That dumbass should be shot for having that pussy bitch's number on his car." I just laugh. I do find it amusing that someone can ascertain from a bumper sticker that someone is a dumbass. Probably because I feel that way when I see ANY NASCAR sticker, not just Jeff Gordon's. (Hey, I've never claimed to be nice.)
I've noticed a few things when I've been checking out different blogs; some via links on my favorite blogs sidebar and some via the next blog button:
  • There are A LOT of blogs that are dedicated to talking about celebrities. Now, I know most of the regular blogs I read will mention celebs every now and then (so do I), but that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the one's in which EVERY SINGLE POST is celebrity gossip. Don't these people have ANYTHING better to do with their time? Do they REALLY care THAT MUCH? What a sad, sad life to live.

  • I've come across SOOOO many angry/depressed/misunderstood/mysterious/dark/heart-broken teenage blogs with oh so deep poems and letters to that "special someone" who will never read it. For some reason I hear little people whispering the word Prozac the minute these blogs pop up. Weird, eh?

  • The word RANDOM is used A WHOLE LOT. (has anyone else noticed this?)

  • There's A LOT of blogs in a different language. That's not a bad thing, just an observation.

  • I'm all for blogs having nice templates, but if it takes FOREVER to load, I get annoyed. Shit, I get annoyed so easily it seems. Huh?

That's about it for my useless rambling. I sure do have absolutely NOTHING interesting to say. Speaking of people saying things, I really dislike when people say "blah, blah to you and yours." You and yours? What the fuck? This brings me to my Deep Throat question..........

Deep Throat of the Day: Is the "yours" of "you and yours" the same "yours" when people say "up yours?" I need some clarification on this people. I'm confused.


Maine said...

You ALWAYS have something of interest to say.

And the "next blogs" that bother me are the ones where the people post once every 2 months. Why even have a blog? No, really... why?

NWJR said...

I don't understand NASCAR at all, but whatever...

And I know I shouldn't insult the NASCAR fans, but they remind me of "Pro" Wrestling fans...a severe shortage of deodorant and teeth.

Anyway, despite all that, I like the song, "Jeff Gordon's Gay", done by Tim Wilson. It speaks to the jealousy people have of anyone who's sucessfull that doesn't fit in the expected mold. Here are the lyrics (if anyone wants a copy of the song, quietly slip me an e-mail, and we won't tell the RIAA).

Jeff Gordon's gay! Jeff Gordon's gay!
At least that's what them ornery Earnhardt fans always say.
They swear he's usin' Vaseline on the 24 Chevrolet,
Jeff Gordon's gay, he must be gay!

He wears rainbow colors, he's a handsome fella,
Standin' in Victory Lane, with a gorgeous little wife
with a check in her hand, sippin that gay champagne
Them Earnhardt fans up in the stands, all chokin' on bread & Spam,
say Gordon's gay every time he turns and hugs Ray Evernham!

Jeff Gordon's gay, he must be gay!
He's probably whistlin' Elton John or Spandau Ballet!
He's got them rainbow warriors singin YMCA,
Jeff Gordon's gay, he must be gay!

He's got 3 Winston Cup trophies sittin' home on his trophy shelf,
but I betcha he can't pick one up, at least not by hisself!

Jeff Gordon's gay! Jeff Gordon's gay!
At least thats what the people who lose on Sunday always say.
They swear he's usin' Vaseline on the 24 Chevrolet,
Jeff Gordon's gay, he must be gay!

and next year he'll drive the long pink Cadillac... for Mary Kay!!!

Grant said...

Celebrities are a waste of time. People should spend more time talking about Asian women.

And I started the whole "random" thing. Everybody else is copying me.

BTW, do you ever say "I'm busier than me at an ass-kicking contest"?

Itchy said...

So...I should stop reading The Best Week Ever blog, huh? :P

The Lily said...

re: deep throat -

(because I'M bored)

It's meant in the singular but I think the use seems incorrect because in my mind "Up yours" means "Stuff something into one of your orifices." Or maybe all of them, in which case yours would be more correct than your.

I think think this whole thing can be solved by the insertion of "Yourn"

Dark Damian said...

You know how Chinese people say "your" and "yours", right?



Laurie said...

I swear to GOD I thought I was the person that started the "random" thing. Guess not, huh?

I wonder if you are the only hot chick, sans one leg, that blogs?


A.J. said...

Quick question to Clairebell...Just exactly where do you insert the yourn?

juicya said...

My fave "next blogs" are the ones that are (1)hot pink, covered in anime cartoons of pokemon, and make J-pop blare from my speakers and (2) Are from depressed goth children and there is immediately a pop-up that says something really melancholy on it about dying roses or tears. Although, usually its just blogs in Spanish

Mojotek said...

The blogs that meet your criteria in the first three bullets are about 95% of what I see when I surf the blog exchanges. Kinda drives me a little crazy that all of this "random" stuff is actually pretty damn similar.

Mojotek said...

Oh yeah... NASCAR SUCKS!

Ev said...

I believe, to use the proper venacular, would be to decipher the phrase "up yours" and it's intent.

Up = in this context is a shortened version of the phrase "cram this up".

Yours = in this context is a self-referential noun. It represents either A) the anus or B) the vagina. This allows the receipient to determine which of the two would be more satisfactory.

We can surmise that the "you and yours" statement is not the same as "yours" in this context.

That said, Hey April, up yours. : )

april said...

Maine: I'd rather read the blogs where people post once every 2 months than those who post like 4 times a day.

NWJR: HAHAHHAHAHAA....That's a great song! Thanks for sharing.

Grant: No, I've never said that. But I'm going to start. Knowing the people I talk to, they won't get it.

Itchy: OF COURSE NOT!!! You can READ them, just don't post like them.

CB: Um, thank you for the clarification.

DD: Yes, I knew this. Ni-GAH!!

Laurie: Girl you know I got that Jonx on lock down!!

A.J.: Where do YOU insert your yourn?

Juicya: I've seen one where it actually asked me a question that I had to answer to be able to read the blog. That question was a person one about the blogger. Something like, "Who was the first boy I french kissed?" How silly is that?

Mojotek: Me too. They all deserve a shit load of negative smacks! =) And yes, NASCAR does suck. "Hey Jim Bob, wanna come to my house and watch cars go in 500 hundred circles really fast?"

Evan: Up mine? Would that be A) my anus or B) my vagina? Do I have a choice in the matter?

Ev said...

To whom it may concern:

re: A or B


The choice in this instance would be whichever selection provides you with the most proper "upping".


The Ev-ictionary

schmims said...

NASCAR is so stupid. That is all.

Lisa said...

The teenage blogs of hate and dispair bother me A LOT! I mean HELLO. Shouldn't someone in the kids lives notice this shit?

Randi said...

You and yours reminds me of a Christmas card.

The Lily said...

AJ: according to evan, it goes in either A or B. :)

Sar said...

I'm with you and yours on the stupidity of the stickers, especially the W ones. I did see one the other day that had a slash through it though, that was cool.

Btw, pickle nazi is offically a fellow contender!

Kira said...

I don't surf blogs, so I guess I don't see that crap. I generally find new blogs because folks will leave interesting comments on a blog I visit, and then I crawl on over there. I guess I'm picky.

Johnboy said...

In the invent of confusion "Up You and Yours" covers it all. It's all encompassing.

The Lily said...

I like it. Go with johnboy's take.

Frankie B said...

I gotta come clean here.
I am a Nascar fan and I do have Nascar stickers on my pickup truck. In my defense I don't hate Jeff Gordon, I don't judge other motorists by their Nascar Stickers & I think I'm pretty cool.

Living in Massachusetts and all the stuffy Mass Libs has driven me to it I swear

Frankie B said...

Hey that was kinda cool, sorta like a nascar anonymous meeting

april said...

Dear Evan,

If I choose BOTH, would you be able to properly use the word yours?

The Pickle Nazi

Schmims: Yes, yes it is.

Lisa: I think it's "cool" for them to be that way. Getting attention and all that.

Randi: It does. I heard it on the radio yesterday and I just cringed.

Sar: YAAAAAAY!! Thank you!! I LOVE being the Pickle Nazi.

Kira: You're not picky, you just don't NEED to surf them because your following is enough, right?


CB: I like it too.

Frankie: The first step is admitting it. Anytime you need to come clean, this is the place. I'm here for you man.

fyrchk said...

I would just like to say 'Jonx Y'all.' or yourn, or y'uns, or whatever.

april said...

Frychk: JONX YOURS!!

Anonymous said...

Best regards from NY! » »