Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My ball's in your mouth

I saw THIS STORY on the news the other day and was amazed. I think it's awesome that she's found someone to be her companion. I wonder if he's an Acrotomophiliac.? Seriously, how fun would it be to just lift her up, put her on your dick and spin her around. It brings a whole new meaning to Sit-n-Spin.


There was this Seinfeld episode where Elaine (or one of the other characters) liked the tops of muffins so much that they opened a store that sold nothing but muffin tops. Well I want to open a store that sells just fried chicken skin. That's my favorite part. I could have extra crispy skin, spicy skin, bbq skin, the possibilities are endless!!


Today makes 11 weeks with a jacked up face. It's not as jacked up as it was, but still slightly jacked up.

Deep Throat of the Day: Did it sound like a guy wrote the first portion of this post?


Maine said...

I'm ready to admit it. I'd fuck the holy hell and righteous bejesus out of that woman. I might even let her hang from my dick and walk around the room a bit, just for show.

And your fried chicken skin store? Would you call it "You'll Be Dead By 40"?

Itchy said...

Actually I wrote the first part of that post about 10 years ago in reference to a friend of my Mom's that was in a similar state. She had very short arms and legs...and she was married. So naturally my hubby and I were curious whether they had an active sex life or not and the sit n spin angle did come into play. Thanks for the momories! :D

And I would come to your store. I love the skin...I'm a sicko chicken skin eater.

Bill said...

I thought a guy wrote it until the whole "her dick" comment. That just scared me.

A.J. said...

It didn't sound like it came from a guy, it sounded like it came from one hell of a classy broad!

april said...

Maine: I'd call it Looks Like Maine's Balls. =)

Itchy: Anytime I can help bring back sex memories, just let me know.

Bill: I fixed it, smartass!! ;o)

A.J.: Shhhhhh, no one's supposed to know I'm classy.

dukethor said...

Nope. I couldn't fuck her. Not that it would be weird, but that I'm just too lazy. "Why the hell do I have to do all the work?!?!" Seriously, I know she can "do stuff", but wouldn't she considered the ultimate male masturbation toy?

My youngest daughter will be your first patron at your restaurant, as long as you serve Egg McMuffins without the eggs.

Mojotek said...

"Deep Throat of the Day: Did it sound like a guy wrote the first portion of this post?"

No, it sounded like a guy wrote the WHOLE portion of this post... :) I mean, fried chicken skin? If I hadn't seen pictures of you already I'd start to wonder. :)

Randi said...

Just goes to show you there's someone out there for everyone. Glad to hear your face is somewhat better.

Maine said...

By the way... look up Boxing Helena on IMDB.

Dark Damian said...

I'm going halfsies with you on the Chicken Skin Cafe, babe. I am so with you. We can have skin nuggets, skin soup, all sorts of things.


And yes. I'd fuck the monkeyshit out of her. I would. And I wouldn't even feel bad about it. I'd bring her to parties with me, with no shame whatsoever.

Your jacked up face is still a far-sight better than a lot of the perfectly normal yet ugly faces out there. I'll take your BP mug over theirs, any day of the week.

pickett said...

Q: Did it sound like a guy wrote the first portion of this post?

A: Hell yeah it did!

That's what I love about reading your blog, you think like me : )

Rumblin Durango said...

Uhm, April, I don't know how to tell you this... it DEFINITELY sounded like YOU wrote that first part. ;) ~ Rick

Kira said...

So, I guess I have hyperfocused on the jacked up face part because I know that it upset you so greatly to have this happen in the first place. Does "still slightly jacked up" mean it's slowly getting better so there's no worries in the long run and you just have to be patient? Can you smile?

You can have my chicken skin any time you want, April. I don't care that it's fattening...fattening equals good. In fact, fried equals good. I've completely adjusted to that part of the South. I just have never really grooved into the skin. So, if I give you the skin, you'll love me more, right? Seems a better trade off :)

schmims said...

Yes it did. And I'm glad your face is less jacked up!

april said...

Dukethor: I will gladly serve egg mcmuffins without the egg for your daughter.

Mojotek: What, women can't like fried chicken skin too?

Randi: I suppose you're right, there IS someone out there for everyone. I just haven't found mine yet. I thought I did, but I was wrong.

Maine: Wow, that's crazy. If one of my ex's ever decided to do that to me, he'd only have 3 limbs to wack. See, another benefit to being an amputee.....

DD: I didn't doubt for one minute that you'd fuck her. Perv.

Pickett: Secretly, we wanna be men. At least for a day. I wanna know what it feels like to have a dick. I'd be playing with that thing ALL DAY.

RD: Why ya gotta call me out like that??

Kira: Yes my face is slowly getting better and HOPEFULLY in the long run I'll have nothing to worry about. I cannot smile fully, but a little better.

Schmims: Thank you, like Kira said, I just have to be patient.

Grant said...

You could probably clean up in the chicken skin business. With so many other companies moving towards healthy foods, I'm sure they have leftover skin you could get cheap.

nicole said...

I'm TOTALLY for the fried chicken skin idea. Hell, if they sold bags of those I'd probably never go to KFC or Popeye's again!

Anonymous said...

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