Friday, March 24, 2006

Semi-bald

Preface: My son has grown up being taught that nudity is not a bad thing. Of course he knows that you just can't get naked in front of strangers and all of that good stuff. However, for the purpose of being comfortable at home, he doesn't think twice about being naked or seeing my husband and I naked. I am aware that a lot of parents don't agree with this, but I honestly don't give a fuck. To those parents I say worry about your own kid sneaking porn under his mattress!!

Now that I've gotten that out, let's move on.......

Actual Story: This morning when Ethan and I were getting ready, I was in the process of pulling up my panties (white lace thongs), and Ethan said:

Ethan: "Why do you shave the hair on your vagina?"

Me: "The same reason why I shave my legs and armpits, because I don't like hair there."

Ethan: "If you don't like hair there, then why do you leave a little bit?"
(referring to my "landing strip")

Me: "Because if I shave it all off then it's too itchy when the hair grows back."

Ethan: "So when I grow up and get hair on my balls, will it itch if I shave it?"

Me: "You'll have to ask your father that question."

Deep Throat of the Day: Men, do your balls itch if you shave them?

32 comments:

Alicat said...

My parents did the same thing whe I was growing up, but I never quite had the balls to ask them questions while they were naked. Well, at least I don't remember if I did. Anyways, it seems to me that they itch whether or not they are shaved. Work with a bunch of men for a while and seriously you start wondering if they have some like, um, issues in the nether region.

Alicat said...

sorry, I had to put this in...I was first!!! That never happens. Thanks for your time.

Ron said...

Well I shave mine, and they dont itch when it grows back, but maybe thats because I keep them that way.

I once shaved everything and I will NEVER do that again. It was a nightmare. So now I only do what is referred to as the "cockring shave".

Wait a minute? Was that TMI?

NWJR said...

Yes, it itches when it grows back, but only if you don't keep up with it. Them. Whatever.

Why am I answering this?

Itchy said...

Why don't my legs itch when that hair starts to grow back? But shave my girl...hmmmm.....

And dude...I can't imagine shaving my balls. Well, if I had balls...that would be scary I would think...

A.J. said...

I don't bother shaving, although I do style it on occasion. Recently I used bees wax to style it into a sharp handlebar number.

Maine said...

Yes.

schmims said...

THK asked me to grow my landing strip back out. WTF? Sorry dude, not going to happen.

Macca said...

Mine do not itch when I shave them. It may be just because I am used to it (I do it at least once a week)

fyrchk said...

There are a lot more men who shave the balls than I thought.

That is all.

And I definitely wanted to kill myself yesterday. Walking the unit with itchy snatch due to not taking the time to shave sucked.

anthony said...

ok a few things here....
april do you really talk to your son like that? using balls and vagina? if yes... hilarious!
for me the area between the yambag and the leg when shaved gets either itchy and/or annoying but only if you get too close on the shave.i use st.ives lotion and it sorta stunts the itchyness keeps it soft.i also like to use this saying when refering to shaving the "area"
"it looked like an elephant with a bad haircut now it looks like an elephant joined the army"!

april said...

Alicat: My son has no embarrassment what so ever. He'll ask anything to anyone. And YAY for you being first.

Ron: NO WAY is that TMI!! Read the rest of the comments.....what is a cockring shave?

NWJR: Because I asked you to and you know that we're all friend here. No judgement!!

Itchy: My legs don't itch either...hmmmmm.

A.J.: Did Sally like that?

Maine: Thank you.

Schmims: It's JUST a landing strip, not an entire bush....

Macca: You're a good man. =)

Fyrbaby: You know, I didn't think that many men shaved it either. Any time you need help shaving, you got my number girl. Call a bitch!

Anthony: Yes I do use those terms with Ethan. He says, vagina, balls or nuts, weiner or penis, and boobies. And I love your sayings but the whole elephant thing has me VERY intrigued. =)

mikey said...

Balls itch.

Shaving doesn't make it better or worse. They're gonna itch anyway.

The Soviet said...

i'm with mikey on this one. yes, it itches. that's why a good, healthy trim is the way to go. shaving it all off makes you feel like you have crabs in the days after (not that i would know. ok, maybe i would). but a good trim leaves you good to go.

i love how educated your son is. that's hilarious. what's even better is if he referred to it as a landing strip instead of "a little bit."

Randi said...

Oh, man, April, that's hilarious. Growing up I was always nekked and always saw my folks in their underwear. It's interesting that in Australia, nudity is on all the time but they don't cuss and have hardly any violence on TV... go figure.

Kira said...

I have found that if I make sure to use a three bladed razor instead of a two bladed one, shaving any area of my body doesn't involve itching. Oh, and shaving cream with it.

My kids see me naked all the time. It's not an issue. I see them naked all the time too. During the summer, I tell Ari she's allowed to lounge around in her underwear if she likes, and she often chooses to do so. I don't see the problem with it. Nudity does not equal sex unless you have personal hangups that require therapy.

I'll never forget the day that my (at the time two year old) son stared at my crotch and complained that I did not have a penis. He apparently thought this was a great tragedy. I explained to him that if I didn't have a vagina instead, he'd not be even able to talk to me about the status of my genitalia. Did I mention this entire convo happened in a public restroom? Yeah, the other women in there were pretty horrified. Go me!

Sassy One said...

Man the itch sucks. That's why I prefer to grow it into a 70's style porn bush and then braid it all nice. I can store stuff in that little badger that is growing there....

Seriously, Itch or no itch..it's gotta be trim!

dukethor said...

Oh, "manscaping" is mandatory. Personally, I can't stand hair, and I'd love to get rid of it all one way or the other, but it's expensive, bothersome, and for some reason, my wife seems to like hair. I think she's nuts.

The few times I have shaved it all, that was one of the few areas where it did not itch (anymore than usual). I think it just depends on the thickness of the hair there. For instance, if your legs don't itch when the hair grows back, then it's probably really thin.

Great post, but since I agree with this type of upbringing 100%, I missed the punchline. :)

JJ said...

Ron, nwjr, macca, and dukethor are right. You just gotta shave the yambag regularly and it won't itch.

Ashburnite said...

I really wish my parents had talked to me more about this kind of stuff. I definitely didn't grow up in a "naked house;" maybe if I had, I wouldn't have gone thru that slutty phase in college.

as far as itchy balls, I have no idea, but I'd assume that, like our girly parts, as long as they keep them shaved, they shouldn't get too itchy.

D.T. said...

So your son is growing up in a naked house, huh? I never did, but I hear it's quite fascinating and the people I know, who did, are the best people to have a conversation with, cuz they're more open and understanding. So kudos to you!

As for the whole ball itching thing, balls itch hair or no hair, but when hair's growing back on them, you cant really feel. What does itch though, is if you shave it all down there. I've done it a few times and it itches like a bitch!

However, I think all guys should trim. Hasnt anyone heard that if the bushes are trimmed, the house looks bigger?

Johnboy said...

An organized house just feels good. The lawn is mowed and the house stands out in all its glory. Of course "CONDOM"miniums are great for safe living.
Best I could do its late!

jadedprimadonna said...

We do the same in our house. The kids are just used to it. To me, it encourages a more healthy attitude about nudity and the human body.

My Brian says agrees with the previous posts on manscaping.

april said...

Mikey: I suppose that's the reason why men are always "adjusting" them. They're not just adjusting, but itching too?

Soviet: If Ethan would've referred to it as a landing strip, I probably would've fainted.

Randi: I didn't know that's how things were in Australia. I wonder if what you pointed out is related..

Kira: I agree with you about the razors. I use the Venus, which is 3 blades. Sure they're more expensive, but the shave is closer and I rarely cut myself.

You're right, nudity does not equal sex. But I know a lot of parents who treat nudity as a bad thing to their kids. Just last night my 5 y/o niece was at my house and when Ethan came out of the shower, her dad yelled at him and said that he needs to have clothes on when's around her.

Sassy One: What a mental picture....braided coochie hairs. =)

Dukethor: A lot of women like hair. I never really understood that either. There was not punchline, so you didn't miss anything.

JJ: I have NEVER heard it called a yambag before.

Ashburnite: I think that most girls go through that slutty phase in college. It's all good. =)

D.T.: I wouldn't call it a "naked house." We're not ALWAYS walking around naked. But when we do, it's not a surprise or embarrassing for anyone. Well not for the 3 of us, anyway. I do agree with you about the open-minded thing, and THANKS for the kudos!!

Johnboy: It was STILL WONDERFUL!! ;)

JPD: I feel the same way about nudity. Tell Brian thank you for his input. =)

Bill said...

i am home Imean at work...zzzzzzzzzzzzz... huh yeah.. ughh.

Ron said...

You do know what a cockring I assume? Well a cockring shave is when you shave everything that would be inside the ring if you were wearing one. (balls AKA yambag, and the base of your stuff) I have also heard it referred to as a "condom shave" too.

Ashburnite said...

hey....I just noticed that you're in northern VA too!

Lisa said...

I think that kids being comfortable with themselves is awesome. I love that you are strong in your standards and don't buckle.

As for the hair = itchy question I love it. Smart little guy to be preparing himself for the future!

Ashburnite said...

I'm in Ashburn and work in Tyson's

april said...

Ashburnite: I sent you an email to your yahoo address. Sometimes my email goes into yahoo's spam folder. I don't know why. But you can email me at autumnbreeze26@gmail.com.

april said...

Bill: You made it back alive....YAAAAAY!!

Ron: Yes I do know what a cockring is, I just wasn't sure what the cockring shave was. Now that you've explained it to me, it makes a lot of sense. I feel DUH now.

Ashburnite: Yes I am, and not too far away from you either. =)

Lisa: Thank you. It's kinda scary when he asks me questions like that, but he's very observant. Little booger.

Mojotek said...

My mom was exactly the same way... I actually think the neighbors called the cops on her before when we were running around the backyard naked all the time. Ahhhh... those were the days.

And I started rolling when I read that Ethan asked "Then why do you leave a little bit?" Good answer by the way.

And I don't know if I could ever have the balls to shave my nuts... I think when I used clippers on that area a while ago, my ball sack got all torn up so I've been afraid to bring anything sharp near my scrotum again.