Thursday, March 02, 2006

TOOT!

Apparently my brother-in-law, B, got embarrassed by Ethan calling him out on not brushing his teeth. Because last night, he bought a toothbrush!! Now whether or not he uses it is a different story. As for my father-in-law, I don't think he gives a shit about having a nasty mouth. Oh well.

Anyway, I was having a conversation with B last night about farting. By now I'm sure you know bodily functions are one of my favorite things to talk about. B said that he never farted in front of his ex-girlfriend and she never did it around him either. He also said, and I quote, "I didn't even know she shit until a year after we were together. Then I asked her if she shit because she never spent more than 2 minutes in the bathroom and it always smelled good." Ummmm, yeah so anyway, this really surprised me because they were together for 6 years and lived together for the majority of that time.

I have no problem farting around my husband and he has no problem farting around me. As a matter of fact, I farted in front of him the first night we met. That's why he fell in love with me, you know. You didn't think it was my charming personality and good looks did you? Oh no, it's all in the flatulence baby!!

This brings me to my question; Do y'all fart in front of your spouse/significant other/mate/partner/shithead/bitch/cocksucker/asshole/etc? Or is that something you could never imagine doing because it's embarrassing and gross?

Deep Throat of the Day: Can someone please tell CowPig that she's too fat to have her hair cut as short as it is?

26 comments:

Randi said...

I imagine if I had a sig other I would fart around them seeing as it is one of my favorite pasttimes. My mom farted in front of my dad after they were married (accidentally) and cried afterward. Jesus Christ.

Maine said...

Are you kidding? I totally lay out defcon four level farts in the house. Only because the smell is so vile, it makes my wife CRAZY. I love it.

A.J. said...

Of course! Why do you think they invented the "dutch oven"

OK, maybe that's WHY I'm single. Who am I kidding? My flatulence always smells of strawberries. Either that or the smell of someone giving a corpse a perm in the septic tank of a tuna boat.

Ron said...

DUH...Mike and I fart in front of each other all the time, which is immediately followed by hysterical laughter from the person who did it.

Farts will ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS be funny!

Itchy said...

OK...I'll go against the grain and admit that I do not purposely fart in front of the hubby nor does he do it purposely in front of me. Accidentally, sure and it's a laugh riot.

However...I'm from a family of free-farters so my sister would always have the pleasure of my farts in her bedroom before bed. And now you know.

Lisa said...

Hell yeah!!! Why would you not. I mean this is someone that has seen you naked and done "whatever" to parts of your body. Farting is a natural experience. Not to mention funny as hell.

Bill said...

isn't the better question, how long do you have to date someone before you feel that level of comfort? It takes a while for me.

fyrchk said...

I farted in front of FM after a a few years of being together. AFter that, it was on.

Burping...all the time.

Coodence said...

I used to not fart in front of BABE. For almost a year or two I managed to hold it on in. Then one day in the 2nd year I was going to run off and boost and he grabbed my hands and made me boost in front of him.

I almost died.

10 years later, this is a distant memory. Sometimes I long for those days. LOL.

Macca said...

I'm in the start of something potentially relationshipy, I don't rip em or feel comfortable pinching a grumpy around her yet.

It'll take a little while, but we'll soon both know what the other is capable of.

mackeydoodle said...

Yep...I fart. shit whateveh! He farts like nobodys business!

Sassy One said...

Nothing is sacred anymore with us. It was downhill after I farted on him (by accident) in the beginning, and to be honest, it's hilarious, most of the time. Except when the paint peels from the walls cuz of his rank ass....

pickett said...

Squirrel likes to child lock the windows when he cuts one loose in the car. I like to pull the covers over him after doing so in bed. It is a real game of cat and mouse around our place...the goal being to catch the other off guard with a bomb.

schmims said...

I never farted in front of Preppy becasue he threatened to put me in the "sweat box" if I did and that was a whole can of worms I wasn't about to open up.

THK was tickling me the other night and I told him I was going to fart on him if he didn't quit. He said he would leave if I did because that's gross. This is the guy who about puked because his glove touched dog poop.

Every other guy, yes. Farting in the bathtub sounds funny.

juicya said...

I think the boy farted on me mere minutes after we had sex for the first time [on our first date,too--wanton whore, i know i know] I believe i waited a few days before unleashing the fury on him, though.

mystery said...

Sure, we fart around each other. But he knows better than to try a 'dutch oven' or lock the car windows, I would physically do him harm!!

Mojotek said...

It took me a couple months, but once I started letting them fly, it's been non-stop since then. Poor girl can't escape my wafts of grandeur.

NWJR said...

That's always been my signal that the relationship has gone to "the next level"--when you feel comfortable enough in front of the other person to fart.

Great post.

(btw, I have no idea who or what "CowPig" is, but that line cracked me up!)

The Lily said...

I have to fart, it's just silly to hold it in. But to be fair, I give warning and roll down a window.

re: cowpig, you can see her neck rolls now, can't you?

Mr Vholes said...

I was reading this entry, got distracted, and didn't close the window. My secretary just came in, read it, and said, and I quote, "That is more disgusting than the porn you were looking at the last time I was in here." I don't know whether to thank you or not.

dukethor said...

Well, I really didn't have much of a choice. I had just returned from a year in Korea, having been on a steady diet of MRE's, Kimche, and alchohol. As soon as I got back, we went to Lake Tahoe, got married, and moved to Fort Carson. The good news was, I think Cosmo said something about how it shows how comfortable you are in the relationship.

So, after 12 years, nobody really cares anymore, unless things get "really" bad, then there's apologies being made.

If one of the girls is having an unusually acoustic evening, it's my wife who ends up commenting about it, and sending both girls into a giggle-fit.

JJ said...

I'm way too concerned with looking "cool" to fart in front of other people. I could never imagine James Dean ripping one in Rebel Without a Cause - or the Fonz letting one fly in the bathroom at Arnold's. At least not when people are around.

I'm such a neurotic mess.

Kira said...

I think it's something Alex prefers not to do because his mom is SUCH a queen farter. I mean, she will run over to you and fart ON YOU as a sign of love if she knows she needs to let one fly. As a result, I've always been uncomfortable about farting around him. However, you know, sometimes it just needs to fly. I told him flat out this last weekend, look hon, I've got gas. There'll be farting. Enjoy! He laughed about it. It doesn't really BOTHER him so much as he just got overloaded on the fart jokes with his mum.

So, yeah, on Saturday night I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke me up and him up. I just wanna know...who has done that one before? Farted so loud it woke you up?

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