Monday, April 03, 2006

Doing the butt

Ethan had his first real baseball game yesterday. All the kids looked so cute even though most of them hadn't a clue about what they were doing. Yes, Ethan's team won. Ethan even went 2 for 2 at his turns at bat. Talk about a proud mom....I was all jumping up and down just because he made it to first base. It was so sweet because after he got to first, he turned and looked at me with the biggest smile on his face and gave me 2 thumbs up. Damn I love that kid. But the best part of the whole game was after he hit his first ball and was waiting at first, the coach came over and said, "Good job." Then gave him the "sports tap" on the butt. Immediately Ethan whipped his head around and jumped back, looking at the coach like, "What the hell are you doing?" (he didn't say that, of course) Since our stands were right near first base all of the parents saw Ethan's reaction. We were all dying laughing. Then Ethan looked over at us and put his hands up like, "Did you just see that?" I just shook my head yes and said, "It's normal, buddy. Don't worry about it."

After we left the game we decided to talk to Ethan about it and make him aware of the butt tapping that goes on in sports. He didn't care that everyone gets their butt's tapped. HIS wasn't going to be touched. This is what he said......

Ethan: "I'm going to tell the coach I don't want him patting my butt anymore. That's just gross."
Me: "What's so gross about it? He didn't grab it or fondle it, just gave it ONE tap."
Ethan: "But Mommy, he's a DUDE!!! I don't want dude's touching my butt. Girls can, but not dudes."
Me: "But Daddy had his coaches pat him on the butt when he played sports. Most people do that. It just means you did a good job."
Ethan: "Why can't he pat me on the back or the head?"
Me: "Well I'm sure he can, but the butt is just something they do."
Ethan: "Well he's not doing it to me. It's MY butt and I don't want him tapping it anymore."
Me: "Ok, if that's what you want, but I'm telling you that eventually you're just going to have to deal with it."
Ethan: "Oh no I'm not. You TOLD me that people shouldn't touch me in my personal areas and my butt is a personal area. So he's not going to do it anymore and I'm going to tell him."
Me: "Well make sure you tell him nicely. Don't be mean about it. OK?"
Ethan: "Ok."

Deep Throat of the Day: Is the butt tap really THAT bad?

27 comments:

Ev said...

Honestly,I've never understood the concept of the butt-tap.

I mean, if I were playing sports for the work softball-team with a chick, and I gave her the butt-tap it would be considered sexual harASSment.

I think it's fine as long as all parties are in agreement about aformentioned butt-tappage.

Pusher Robot said...

I "butt tapped" my defenseman (hockey) a few games back for making a great play. Not something I normally do, cuz it always seemed weird, it was just a split-second reaction ... of course immediately after that I wondered if I was gonna be in trouble as my defenseMAN is a woman AND my wife was watching the game :)

NWJR said...

It's better than teabagging--a popular initiation ritual among many collegiate (and even high school) football teams.

*shudder*

Dark Damian said...

How awesome for Ethan! 2 for 2 so doesn't suck.

I wouldn't want someone tapping my ass, either.

Wait, that sounded really...really...bad.

Maine said...

It's completely uncalled for.

Like, you can't tap a butt anywhere else in the world - why all of a sudden, because I just made a big tackle, would anyone assume that I'd like my butt tapped to celebrate? I never understood it.

I'm not even being homophobic about it; I just don't get why it's suddenly normal for someone to goose you just because you did well at sports.

n said...

I've always found it hilarious that if two guys were stuck in the jungle and one gets bit on the ass by a poisonous snake, the other guy wouldn't even butt bandage. Yet in sports, asses get slapped, tapped, patted, swatted and otherwise assaulted with reckless abandon. How come if it's sports-related, it's okay?

Mind you, I don't really care one way or the other. It's just fascinating to me. ;)

nicole said...

By the way, that last comment was from ME. Stupid blogger comment engine. UGH!

Bill said...

i thought we had replaced the butt tap with the high five or the knuckle touch... which oddly enough may have been done by knights way back when... I was reading a story where they had two knights touching knuckles in congratulations... I am wondering now if that was a real thing at that time or was it a literary device.
Would ethan let his coach tap his butt if it was a woman then? What about if it was you?

tj said...

In this day and age it seems EVERYTHING is wrong. I saw a news show the other day on "appropriate touching" and it was showing a nice shoulder massage between a male coach and a young girl participant as NOT appropriate. I would think that butt tapping would also have rated as "wrong" by those standards.

If Ethan isn't comfortable with it then it is "wrong" by his standards and he should tell the coach.

The Soviet said...

Tap dat ass!

fyrchk said...

I ass tap all the guys at the fire station. Mostly because I want to tap their asses. I mean, you've seen 'em. They're HOT!

Grant said...

I've never understood the whole fanny-pat thing in sports. I always thought it looked weird, and I wouldn't want a male coach touching me like that. Asian dentists, on the other hand...

Amanda said...

I've never seen a female athlete get tapped on the ass by another female (athlete or coach)...is it just a male thing?

Jolie said...

I like to listen to what my kids say and if Ethan says he's uncomfortable then that is all I'd need to hear. Let him tell the coach and explain his position. I think you handled it exactly as I would have and I think you should be rocking proud of your boy. Not only for being able to speak up for himself about what he doesn't like, but also because obviously the lessons you are teaching him are sticking. Because hey, his butt is a "personal area". Kudos to him and to you!

schmims said...

I've gotten it in soccer.

Itchy said...

Me personally...pat my butt, I like it. But...I've never understood the whole patting the behind thing in sports. If those same guys were some where trying on pants or something they aren't going to pat each other on the behind and say "Hey Steve! Nice pants!" So why are they doing it during sports? Or at a bar "Hey Pat...thanks for the beer, buddy!"
I don't get it. High fives are good enough...

mikey said...

I never understood the whole "butt tap" thing, either. We always just high-fived.

The funny thing is, I played "pussy" sports like volleyball and soccer. No butt patting. But the "manly" sports, like basketball and football? Butt patting gone wild.

Not that I think butt patting is gay, but isn't it odd that people question the masculinity of my sports, yet their sports are rife with ambiguously gay tendencies?

Now, I don't think the butt pat is necessarily a bad thing. I couldn't care less about it. But if your kid doesn't like to have his butt patted, then he shouldn't have to endure it.

Yeah, I know it's a "tradition." I know it's "... just something they do." Most people will think the kid should get over it or get used to it, but honestly, there's no reason for it. There's other ways of saying "good job." Why hold on to the one that makes kids (I'm sure yours isn't the only one) uncomfortable?

Lisa said...

*Hand claps* for the Little Man and for going against the grain!

Mike said...

I don't think I've ever gotten the butt tap, at least not that I remember. High fives or slap on the back have always been sufficient. Or in cases when the two players are farther apart you can always just give 'the point'.

I'm definitly sure I've never given the butt pat, but I'm usually a lot taller then all my teammates so its just awkward to reach down that far anyway.

hotdrwife said...

Oooooooh Fyr's right. I have a thing for firefighter's and their butts.

Yeeeeeum!

JJ said...

"Ev said...
Honestly,I've never understood the concept of the butt-tap."

Dude - he's totally lying. Ev begs for the butt tap.

Miss Sassy said...

I always thought it came about because all the padding football players wear meant it was the only place the could FEEL a congratulatory pat... but the crossing into other sports... why not slap the helmet???

Good Job Ethan - on the game and the standing firm on his 'private areas'!!

Sassy One said...

I don't get the butt tap either, but a sick part of me likes to see guys touch eachother's butts...but good for your son for speaking up!

Kira said...

Oooohhh man, I love me a good spanking...oh wait, never mind, we're just talking about butt tapping. If he's not comfortable with it, then that's that, and I'm glad he can voice his discomfort so easily. It's the sort of thing I'd leave totally up to my child, male or female, as well. In my family, I am known as the Queen of Tushies, however, so my children know their asses are MINE. No protests from me giving a love tap. I have no idea how they'd feel if they did it at a sporting event, though. In Ariana's soccer team, they never seem to do it.

delite said...

My son would be the same way, he likes to say "Ew that's gay" pfft! ;)

honkeie2 said...

Yeah, I dont get the dude on dude butt tapping thing either. i am with Ethan on this one

Anonymous said...

It almost sounds like a tradition a pedo coach would've started so he could pat the little boy's arses. And then maybe it stuck out of habit with his students?

I don't know about other people, but when someone touches my ass or I someone else's the thought isn't usually
"Wow, what a nice play."

Go, Ethan.