Monday, April 10, 2006

The Land of the Free

There are 2 things Ethan said to me this weekend that just had me in tears from laughing so hard. Since it's Monday, I thought you might need a good laugh to get your day started.

Ethan was watching a cartoon called The Snorks. I used to LOVE this cartoon when I was a kid.

Me: "Oh wow, this cartoon was on when I was your age!"
Ethan: "Then why isn't it in black and white?"

That little booger!! Even though his question made me feel old, it was still hilarious.
Later that day Ethan was watching television in my bedroom. When I walked into the room he had his hand in his underwear. (typical male)

Me: "Quit playing with your weener, silly boy."
Ethan: "I can play with it if I want to. It's MY weener and I'm a free man! Free men play with their weeners whenever they want."

He's such an awesome kid. That's all I have to say for today. Y'all have a wonderful day!

Deep Throat of the Day: Why do males touch their weeners so much?


Dark Damian said...
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Dark Damian said...

"Why do males touch their weeners so much?"

You're joking, right? It's because it feels good, silly! Women play with their hair; men play with their snorks. It's nature.

By the way, All Star was a punk.

april said...

DD: No I'm not joking. It feels good for a woman to touch her vagina, but you don't see us doing it as much as men, now do you?

NWJR said...

"Why do males touch their weeners so much?"

The same reason dogs lick their balls: BECAUSE THEY CAN.

schmims said...


Maine said...

Is it funny that I was touching my weener while reading this? And, no, you don't need to feel special - I pretty much touch it all day.

Meanwhile, The Snorks were my shit. I'm gonna need to know what channel they're on.

Ev said...

I'll give you two answers:

1. Because our wives don't touch it nearly enough. Ba-damp-bomp-ching!

My real answer, if I can ruin the mood for a moment, is merely based on speculation.

See, in our society (which is geared towards male control) the phallus represents our "power and identity". If you look at historical figures, Napolean, George Washington, Ice-T, you rarely see them sitting down. No, they stand erect, and stiff. A la a hardon. Why? Because this gives the image of power. Men are consumed with the penis, because men are consumed with power. We touch the wang often because it is symbolic of our quest for power. In the animal world, the female of the species is attracted to the strongest most powerful male. You don't see any account chimps getting any chimpanzee 'tang, do you? It is comforting to grab ahold of our wangs, as if to proclaim to the world, I have a penis and while it is not the biggest or best, it is mine. ALL MINE!

or we could just be super preoccupied with beating off. I mean, you know either or.

Anonymous said...

touching your penis is like playing with a puppy (ha! a weiner dog!). it's interactive. the more you play with it, the more the weiner dog enjoys it. and it's just a fun time between a man and his dog.

juicya said...

Im racking my brain now trying to remember the names of the Snorks. There was a pink one who was always cockteasing AllStar, right?

Kids are damned funny, Bill Cosby was right.

Randi said...

my new beau and i watched a movie this weekend and he had his hand on his junk the whole time. when i asked him "what's up with your weener?" he said "leave it alone" and I said, "why, you haven't since the movie started." lol. long story that said nothing.

Coley said...

I keep finding my male-companion lounging on the couch, hand casually placed on his "special area." I finally asked him "what the hell are you doing?" to which he replied, "I didn't even notice I was doing that. huh." Umm, how do you NOT notice that?

mikey said...

Why do males touch their weeners so much?

Well, you might be surprised to know that it's not about pleasure, so much as it's about "adustment." Before you laugh, think about how many times a day you adjust your bra to fix your boobs.

And remember... males need to adjust more, because of all the active and moving parts. Imagine how much bra adjusting you'd have to do if your boobs kept growing and shrinking all day.

But then again, there will always be guys who just like to grab themselves all day.

Ron said...

I think it all boils down to the fact that I just like touchin my junk.

Ashburnite said...

wow...the Snorks is still on?? I loved that as a kid.

Sounds like you have an adorable kid.

And if I was a guy, I'd probably be touching my junk all the time, too. Hell, whe I'm dating someone I can't keep my hands off his junk. It's just a fascinating appendige.

The Lily said...

They need to touch themselves so much to make sure it's still there.

Because, well obviously everyone wants it. That is what penis envy is all about, right?

Miss Sassy said...

I totally remember the Snorks!!! And they were darn colorful!!

I remember being a tiny tot and looking at the boys in day care thinking "I've seen it, and its an outtie, but will it fall off if they don't hold it there??"

Thanks for the giggles =)

Ole Blue The Heretic said...

"""Deep Throat of the Day: Why do males touch their weeners so much?"""

Because it is fun.

Sassy One said...

I think thatmen touch themselves so much because they need reassurance that its still there.
Oh and I LOVED the Snorks..I had no idea it was on again!

Anonymous said...

I agree. They need to make sure it's there.

The Snorks thing killed me.

Kira said...

Man, Ethan's comments were so funny I had to share them with my dad, and he laughed his ass off too.

Just the other night Jared insisted that he needed to sleep in a nightshirt instead of pajamas because he needed to reach his stuff. "It's easy to itch my penis, but not so easy to itch my balls if I have the pj bottoms on." Ok then. So, for him it's all about the scratchin'.

nicole said...

April, you're a girl after my own heart with that weiner question. Dude nether-antics are often so fascinating to me!!!

And Ethan, as usual, is adorable. And so insightful! ;)

Mojotek said...

"I can play with it if I want to. It's MY weener and I'm a free man! Free men play with their weeners whenever they want."

Oh snap! I need to use that line the next time my girlfriend tells me to quit playing with mine... wow, what a funny kid!

anonymous said...

Funny. If you aren't touching it you must be well adjusted. If you are you are almost ready for the big leagues. Make that Major Leagues. :)