Tuesday, April 18, 2006

No Identity

I miss Florida. After being in Virginia for 5 years, I still call Florida "home" and I still reference it or something that happened there, at LEAST once a day. I miss my friends, the weather, the people, the palm trees, the 20 minute drive to the beach even though I never went but liked having that option, I just miss EVERYTHING! I miss going to any given store and running into someone I know. Now when I run into someone I usually know them because of my husband and the first question out of their mouth is, "Where's Sammy?" (Sammy's my husband incase you didn't figure that out) What? Can't I go anywhere without my husband? Apparently not because literally everywhere I go I see someone who knows Sammy and without fail that's what they ask me.

In this town I do not have my own identity. I am not APRIL. No, no!! Why on earth would I be April? That would be preposterous. I am Sammy's wife or Ethan's mom. The latter I don't mind one bit, but the first drives me CRAZY!! Just last week I was talking to a man about my car:

Man: "What's your name?"
Me: "April ____."
Man: "Oh, you're Sammy's wife."
Me: "No, I'm April."
Man: "You're not married to Sammy?"
Me: "Why yes I am, but I have a name and it's APRIL, not Sammy's wife. Thank you."

Normally, I'm not that sarcastic. I know, it's hard to believe that I'm not always a sarcastic bitch, but I'm really not. On that particular day, I was really irritated.

I had history with my friends back home and I miss that. I miss going to lunch with one of the girls and laughing over those "remember the time you and I..." conversations. Sure, I can make new friends. But that's hard in this state because the majority of the women my age are bitches. At least in the northern part anyhow. If you didn't grow up here and go to school with them, you're an outsider that they'll never let in. Which is fine. I don't necessarily want to be "in" with these girls. I just want ONE friend up here like I had back home. I don't think that I'm hard to get along with. I'm pretty outgoing and like to laugh and have fun. I'm not stuck up or uptight. I don't know.

Sorry for the whining, I'm just slightly home-sick today. My friends are having babies and getting married and I wanna be there for them. I wanna share their happiness, sadness, anger, and tears. I miss my girls.

Have a wonderful day.

Deep Throat of the Day: Are the women in your state bitchy?

30 comments:

Grant said...

The women here are semi-bitchy. Atlanta is mostly comprised of people from somewhere else. It's kind of a joke that you never meet anyone who's actually from here, so you don't have the "you're not one of us" attitude like you get in the country. On the other hand, I do hear a lot of complaints that Atlanta is inferior to wherever they came from.

Dark Damian said...

Are the women here bitchy? This is Dallas. They get a box of bitchy on their 13th birthday, like a bizarre bat mitzvah.

I know how you feel about missing home, A. I miss mine everyday. You'll get back there someday.

fyrchk said...

*Hugs*

Itchy said...

I'm right there with ya April. I feel the same exact way. I made a few friends but not like...get together and have giggles and fun types of friends...And it sucks. And I'm not sure what to do about it either.

Bill said...

Go to Florida and see your friends. When I go home and see my friends though it is a little weird. Although we are still friends, our lives have gone in different directions, so we don't have the same rapport we did when I was back in WI. I still miss them and it is nice to see them, but I wouldn't fit in over the long haul.

lunachicknyc said...

I live in NYC - we're born bitchy. Although, since most people in the city are from all over the world here, we do make friends with transplanted NY'ers

schmims said...

Same here. They're not bitchy. They just are married with kids and doing married/parent kinds of things. That and they've had the same friends forever! That's how Chris, friend from soccer, and I became friends. We didn't have friends to hang out with. I think it just gets harder in general when you get older to make those kind of friends.

Alicat said...

Come to the Midwest. While we still are bitchy from time to time, we are the nicest most genuine people in the country, IMO. Actually one of my friends moved to El Paso and said for the last 6 months or so he has been so homesick because the people there will be nice to your face and then spit on your back. He said he dosen't really want to start a relationship with a girl there for fear that he would get stuck in Texas and eventually go postal on the people there. In Michigan we are nice and fun and happy people. We kinda have to, 6 months out of the year its too cold to go outside. Could you imagine being stuck inside for that long with bitchy people?

nicole said...

Wait, you're in VA??? How did I not know this?? I'm in VA, too!

That fact is making me a bit too happy, isn't it? ;)

nicole said...

As for the bitch-factor in this state? I don't know if I can say since I don't really make it a point to befriend anyone outside of the workplace. And since I grew up in MD, that's where most of my childhood friends are.

hotdrwife said...

I worked at the hospital for five years, in the same dept., before meeting/marrying my husband (who works there, too).

And now, I'm his wife. Oh, this is Dr. so-and-so's wife.

Irks me to hell.

Randi said...

A good girl friend is hard to find but if you were in California, you'd have one in me.

Amanda said...

With the exception of Kira, yes, the other women in SC are bitches. I'm convinced it has something to do with an inbred gene.

What drives me nuts is the toothless old men who say, "Ain't you ____'s old lady?" I think anyone who utters those words should be hit with the sterilization gun.

juicya said...

There are bitches in provinces, too. And a lot are in this one. The women here are either powerbitches with careers and no emotions, or bubble heads who have fake boobs and spend their boyfriends money...and both are bitchy.
I totally hear ya on the friend thing-- being that I usually moved every 3 or 4 years for school, I have a bunch of friends who live in Edmonton, Vancouver, and Saskatoon, but no real ones here except my BF, Jer-- who seems to know every single person in Calgary. Sucks.

Coley said...

Oh, California is full of bitches. At least the Bay is. They are a different breed of bitch, though. Everyone's all humanist "let's just all do some yoga and power breathing together" types to your face, but then talk MAD shit behind backs.
I should know, I'm one of them. Sometimes.

Miss Sassy said...

I'm with Coley - the LA Valley is right over the mountain and they are so self centered they can't even NOTICE you, let alone pretend to be nice, let alone remember you exist long enough to talk about you behind your back.

Leaving 'home' is ruff. I've found that the shallow comroderie of the 'locals' at the gym classes is like HS in that you see them all the time and sometimes you decide to be friends and sometimes you put your head down and 'do the work'. Its the familiarity of everything that makes it feel like home - after moving every 3 months for 18 months, I learned that finding a gas station, bank, and grocery store that were MINE in the first week solidified my "this is home" feeling.
Being Mrs. Him isn't helping you, but telling people you are April is the way to go - then be YOU instead of His Wife or Ethans Mom to solidify it =)

212designs said...

that's too funny...

my morning was spent venting about shit along these same lines.

they love you here,...
as long as your just like them..
and i'm glad i'm not lol
:)

Jeannie said...

What you need to do is find someone else who isn't from there to be friends because they will have the same problem as you.

The Soviet said...

i talk about new orleans nonstop. so i know what you mean.

texas blows.

Sassy One said...

Hmmm Im sure Ontario has a lot of bitches too...Ive only had the pleasure of meeting a few that I really wanted to slap. I moved away to go to school and was homesick but now that I'm back I miss my girls there...*sobs*

Kira said...

I have a solution!!!!

Divorce Sammy. Take Ethan, and move back to Florida.

See, and THAT is why I'm known as freakin' genius.

I have lived in SC since 1992. I can make friends with rocks, snakes, the wind, cats, dogs, birds, and all humans. Unfortunately, there seems to be a lack of actual human women here. You have no idea how excited I was when I found Amanda. Before that, I only had one real friend around here. I have TONS of friends back in Florida too. They visit often, but I miss those days when I could just kick back and chat with them several times a week, doing just stupid stuff and having fun. I kept all my high school and college buddies, but none of them live in SC. They're just too damn smart for that.

Ashburnite said...

haha...I am in the same state as you, so yes, the women are VERY bitchy!

D.T. said...

It's ok...you go right on ahead and whine all you want. Your Flordia friends were like your family, and you miss them. Sounds to me like someone is in dire need of a family vacation.

pickett said...

I've lived in Michigan for almost 8 years now, have only 1-2 friends that I would consider true. People here never leave, they're born in the same city they die, so their friendships are lifelong. If your not a Michigan lifer - you're nothing.

Mojotek said...

Well, you do have one thing to be thankful for... you're not a true Gator anymore! Woo hoo!

NWJR said...

Pickett is right about Michigan. I grew up there, and nothing could be closer to the truth.

You have to live there longer than you've lived anywhere else...THEN they consider you one of them.

Alan J said...

I don't know about bitchy. But are all Italian women highly emotional?

Somewhere in Milwaukee

april said...

Hmmm, I don't know about highly emotional, but certainly short tempered.

Alan J said...

You are so right about the temper. I've seen the emotion and the temper. Are you Italian?

Somewhere in Milwaukee.

april said...

I am half Italian, the rest Irish and German. I suppose that I should have a short temper, but I don't. I'm pretty laid back. I do however like to argue my point when I'm right. We all have flaws, don't we?