Friday, May 12, 2006

Mission Imfuckingpossible

My Perfect Man:

Appearance:
He MUST MUST MUST have nice teeth. Period. During the day he wears a suit and tie but underneath are super sexy tattoos. (I LOOOOVE ME SOME TATTOOS) Dark brown or black hair. Eye color doesn't really matter, but if I had my choice they would be green. He should be at least 6 feet tall and he MUST have a goatee or "flavor saver" if you will. Not too skinny but not too bulky either. As long as he has nice shoulders that aren't bony and those little dips in his hips, I'm good to go.

The Stuff That Matters:
He's honest, caring and sensitive, but not overly sensitive because I don't want to be catering to some fool's whining all the time. He appreciates the little things and also DOES the little things. LISTENS. I mean actually LISTENS to what I'm saying and offers advice or comfort. He shouldn't sweat the small stuff and be willing to talk about any issues that may occur. He should LOVE the fact that I'm one goofy bitch who acts super silly because that's who I am. He can't be jealous or possessive. EVER. And it would be nice if he could make me want him more and more every single day. To the point where I'm wanting to do it 3 or 4 times a day. That is all.

Deep Throat of the Day: Now do you see why the title is what it is?

22 comments:

Macca said...

If only I had green eyes.

dirk.mancuso said...

If you find this guy, can you see if he has a gay twin?

Mojotek said...

Hmmm... good luck with all that. I actually have a friend that might fit the bill though. Well, as long as you narrow everything down to: alive, farts, and owns a car.

Kira said...

Ok, the Alex clone I am making for you has the stuff that matters covered. I'll tweak him to make him taller. You can make him grow the goatee and get him some tattoos. All you have to do with the Alex model is whisper enticingly how sexy you'd think that was, and it'll be done by the end of the day. Oh, and you forgot one thing! You want your man circumcised. I'll have to remember to do that one too...ok, back to the lab!

Amanda said...

She has to make the Alex clone taller because my version must be at least 6' too. Yea, I totally get the title. :(

Randi said...

Dude I'm not trying to play cupid but that sounds like Macca...

NWJR said...

Wow.

Well, at least you know what you want!

nicole said...

First off, I need to tell you how hilarious the term "dips in the hips" is. I imagine it being sung to the tune of MC Hammer's "Pumps and a Bump" and it CRACKS ME UP LAUGHING!!!

Second, take the advice of Mr. Jesse Jackson: keep your eyes on the prize!

nicole said...

First off, I need to tell you how hilarious the term "dips in the hips" is. I imagine it being sung to the tune of MC Hammer's "Pumps and a Bump" and it CRACKS ME UP LAUGHING!!!

Second, take the advice of Mr. Jesse Jackson: keep your eyes on the prize!

nicole said...

Dammit, my comment posted twice. Frickin BLOGGER.

Kira said...

You know, I just realized that there are two ways to take this title.

One is "Mission Impossible" with the word fucking in it.

The other is "Mission I'm fucking possible!" I like that second one better :)

And yes, I had already been tweaking the Alex clone model for extra height for Amanda, so I'm almost there!

D.T. said...

Oh April...though that man may only exist in your mind, a girl can dream, right? True, you totally do deserve a guy like that, but dont forget that maybe your prince charming is 5'10-ish with blonde hair and brown eyes...still, I say dont give up on your dream. If you believe in it hard enough, it will come true!

Grant said...

I don't care for facial hair or tattoos, so I'm out. Just as well - you're not Japanese. :)

NeverEnough said...

Teeth are my #1 important thing!! Everyone says "eyes", but who gives a shit about eyes!! Your description for the perfect guy is exactly like mine actually. Yeh, missionfuckingimpossible!!

The Soviet said...

Yeah, i was going to suggest elliott yamin from american idol but that whole teeth thing ... yeah. pretty much takes care of that.

Sar said...

Happy Mother's Day to the Picke Nazi! ;)

jadedprimadonna said...

Oooo - I totally forgot to put listening to me in my ideal man blog. But you are so right - that one's essential. I love goatees too. I remember when my hubby first got his - I hated it. Now, every time he shaves it off, I can't wait for it to grown back in.

JJ said...

He must have nice teeth. -- NOPE
During the day he wears a suit and tie -- NOPE
but underneath are super sexy tattoos. -- YEP
Dark brown or black hair. -- NOPE
Eye color - they would be green. -- NOPE
at least 6 feet tall -- NOPE
must have a goatee -- NOPE
Not too skinny but not too bulky either. -- NOPE
shoulders that aren't bony and those little dips in his hips -- NOPE (I'm a skinny little bitch)


One out of nine isn't bad... right?

Lisa said...

So you know my husband, huh? haha

I'm just a lucky bitch like that.

Jezzy said...

Hmm, yes. I do see why the title is what it is!

doc-t said...

he's all those things?

caring and sensitive, but not overly sensitive

LISTENS. I mean actually LISTENS to what I'm saying

DOES the little things


Is he gay?

schmims said...

You should add "swingers need not apply". Unless you're into that shit.