Monday, July 10, 2006

I'm still here

Contrary to popular belief, I did NOT fall of the face of the earth. I'd like to say that I was on some lavish vacation with Matthew McConaughey at a secluded resort on a remote island, but then I'd be giving the tabloids something to talk about and I'm not really ready to be famous yet. Honestly, I unintentionally took a break from the internet. I hadn't even checked my email for weeks. So much has happened so I'll give you a synopsis.

**I'm still separated!!!!

**I started dating this guy who looks like Colin Farrel. FUCKING GORGEOUS!! He's in the same situation as I am, separated with kids. He has a great job and he's really nice. Only problem is........after a week of dating he busted out with "I love you." A WEEK!?!?!?! I LOVE YOU?!?!?!?! Then this fool started talking about getting a place together. WHAT?? I mean, I know that I'm every man's dream woman (insert joke here), but you can't just go falling in love with me after a week. That's just crazy!! Needless to say, I'm not dating him anymore.

**Ethan is doing really well, as usual. He just turned 8 this past Friday. I love my boy!!

There's more, but I gotta gradually work myself back into the internet. I hope all is well with everyone!!

Deep Throat of the Day: Is it possible that sleeping with him made him bust out with the I love you? I mean, not that I did or anything like that I was just asking for hypothetical purposes. Yeah, that's it.......hypothetical!!

25 comments:

Amanda said...

First of all, I was vacationing with Matthew. I'll send him your way later this week...maybe.

Beware of the man who says I love you that soon...unless it's the real Colin. However, use and abuse him whenever possible!! :)

Happy Birthday Ethan!!

Dark Damian said...

If you threw that poonanny right, yeah, it can make a guy say that. Remember that scene in the movie "Harlem Nights" when the mob guy hooks up with Sunshine, the prostitute, and the p***y was so good, he called his wife RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT and said "Hey, how ya doin'? I ain't never coming home again. See ya."?

Yeah.

Power of the poontang.

Sherri said...

Yep, you musta done it right. Hypothetically, of course:) But still, that's REALLY too soon to be saying that. I'd run screaming from that too.

Kira said...

ONE WEEK??? Ok, that's scary. But yes, I mean, hypothetically if you slept with any of us, we'd say the same thing, April. You're just that damned good ;)

The only thing better than you saying still separated would be that you were now a widow...or divorced...otherwise, separated works for me!

Bill said...

You can't use the "L" word that soon. I mean even if you were together 24/7 for that week. You need at least two weeks... I mean six or seven months before you can even let it slip out. And if the two of you hypothetically ... why did he say it... I could see him using that line to get you in bed, not that you would fall for that one, but I could understand that angle...

ahh well, men, we're hard to figure some days. Good to have you back!

Macca said...

You could just be an insane lay, hypothetically, of course. Thus making him fall in love with you.

Coley said...

Well, if he's recently separated too, welcome to Rebound-ville. Or he hasn't had anything nearly as fabulous as you and clearly fell head-over heels. Either way, ewwww.

Debbie said...

That would scare the crap out of me. It's way too soon. Even if you fucked his brains out. Still too soon.

The Soviet said...

well, you know us gay folk, we throw that word around pretty quickly, too. i think eric and i had been together a week and we started saying it.

and since i've seen the colin farrell sex video, i must commend you on your choice of men.

yum.

nicole said...

If that's what did it then you threw a HELL of a whammy on him!

Well, hypothetically speaking. ;)

So was it a slightly misguided profession of love or was it the, "I probably stole one of your undergarments" type?

Rumblin Durango said...

Great "Harlem Nights" reference...

Randi said...

April,
I know we've never met but I love you.
Signed,
Spooky Stalker

mikey said...

What, is he in a hurry to get married again?

Seriously, though... all relationships are different. Some people can fall in love that fast. Others never fall in love at all.

But, since you're asking about it, it's probably too soon.

The Lily said...

Glad to see you back! *SMOOCHIES*

Miss Sassy said...

I'm with the crowd on this one. I don't care how great any hypothetical anything was, keep it in your mouth buddy.
Did you figure out why he was separated? Was he TOO affectionate for her? just say'n...

rachel said...

OOOOh am new to your blog, but great. Will be back.

Hypothetically, if you did shag him, and your technique was beyond belief, and if he wimpered like a baby afterwards, he's likely to fall in love.

Have you seen Eddie Murphy stand up 'RAW'? I'm sure it's the same for men as women.

Re. rebounding, I agree with the general consensus, avoid, abort and only abuse if necessary.

D.T. said...

Well, it's nice to know you're still alive and kickin' it. I was away too and I gotta say, I missed those pics of you with your tongue sticking out!

**So glad you're not one of those people who still analyze their divorce and wonder if there is still a chance...

**Collin Farrel look-alike?! Really?! I wonder what happened in his marriage...anyways, if he said "I love you" during the bing-bing, I dont think it counts (maybe that's why he got divorced...because he was too lovey-dovey). Still, I think you shouldn't have dumped him too fast. Imagine the good posts that could've been.

**Happy Birthday Ethan! Dont stress your mama out too much...

And dont forget to keep us posted April!

Miss R said...

You're back! Yeah! You sex kitten! One time with you and he's hooked. Once they've had April, they just keep coming back.

It would have freaked me out too. I had a guy tell me after three dates he had a dream that I was pregnant and the baby was his. Trouble was, he told me this AFTER we had sex. My instinct as is with your situation - "RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!"

schmims said...

I've dated five guys since my divorce three years ago. Three of them said "I love you" in two weeks. Those guys did not last long becasue I replied, no you don't. You don't even know me.

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mojotek said...

Hmmm... actually the porking him thing could have induced such a response. Especially if said 'hypothetical encounter' was the best damn freak-deaky sex this guy has ever had.

I see him as being one of two ways: He's either a little too needy, OR you really did blow his fucking mind and he couldn't help but blurt out that he loves you.

mikey said...

Well, maybe he loved you before the (hypothetical) nookie, and then the (heypothetical) nookie just sealed the I Love You deal.

Or, maybe he's just seen "Jerry Maguire" too many times, and he doesn't want to be seen as "shoplifting the pootie." And not just from a single mother, but a one-legged single mother.

But really, who would see that movie more than once or twice? Heh.

And I Do said...

Sleeping with someone does indeed lead to you bursting out the words, I LOVE YOU.