Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Straight from the movie

Ok, so Mr. I Love You is again out of the picture. I have needs that he just can't fulfill so I had to tell him it's over. We're still going to be friends, just not romantically involved. It's better that way. Besides, after dealing with an ignorant redneck for the past 6 years, I reserve the right to be picky. I don't have time to teach a man how I expect certain things to be. Especially not after I lay it out in black and white that this is what I need and want. It ain't happening.

Ethan started football!! Last night was his first practice. He looks so damn cute with his helmet and pads on. He's hoping that he'll be a running back, but it's too early in the season to tell. I will certainly be posting pics as soon as I get some more good ones.

Sammy didn't like Mr. I Love You because he's mixed. Half black and half white. While this does not bother me one bit, Sammy is a racist redneck. Well this past Saturday night, Sammy decided that he was going to come to Mr. I Love You's house and try to start a fight. However, Mr. I Love You (MILY) is a lover, not a fighter. Sammy was trying to get MILY pissed by calling him a "Half Breed." But when that didn't work, he busted out with the "N" word. MILY's neighbor heard that word and didn't take too kindly to it. All I have to say is the night ended with me standing over Sammy's head like Chris Tucker saying, "YOU GOT KNOCKED THE FUCK OUT, MAN!!" It was by far too satisfying.

I hope everyone is well.

Deep Throat of the Day: All I ask is for communication and affection, is that too much?

24 comments:

Sar said...

You deserve the real Colin Farrel (yuh huh hum!), Pickle Nazi!

mojotek said...

Oh, so he got knocked the fuck out by one MILY's neighbors while MILY didn't fall for the slurs? Sounds like poetic justice to me!

The Lily said...

Oh. Are you kidding? Seriously? I thought that man was stupid to ruin what could have been a healthy, nurturing relationship with a fantastic woman.

But no, he goes and surpasses himself. "I know! Let's flagrantly use the n-word in public and then (he probably) act surprised and persecuted when we get our ass kicked."

Dumb ass motherfucker. I love kharma. I am so glad you didn't have to wait for it AND you got there to see it.

nicole said...

The image of him lying on the unconscious combined with the memory of that Chris Tucker line just made my day!

Bill said...

Communication and affection... I can do that.. sorry stuff didn't work out. PeeWee football, lucky kid!

schmims said...

Communication and affection? Girl, you're asking for a miracle!

Kira said...

Why doesn't it surprise me that your son will be playing football?

Look, I'm here to tell you that there's a man out there somewhere that you don't have to train. Alex came pre-trained for my convenience. I'm sure if you just remain picky, you'll find one just as good. Picky is an excellent quality.

And damn, I couldn't stop laughing about Sammy! What a dumbass mutherfucker. I'm so glad that his karma is catching up to him. I like justice when it happens.

Maine said...

I find it very funny that Sammy thinks he can drive to a dude's house, stand outside and call the guy a n---- and somehow think he's gonna walk out of there any way but knocked out.

It's like, as soon as you say it, your next thought should be, "Damn... which one of these n----s in this neighborhood are gonna fuck me up first? I hope its not the dude over there who looks like The Green Mile. Why did I do this?"

By the way, whatever happened to "new pussy salves all wounds?" I know that if I was getting new pussy, my ex-wife could be fucking a half-alien and I wouldn't care...

D.T. said...

All I can say is, thank God April you're no longer with him. I know Halmark doesnt make Sorry You Married the Wrong Guy... kinda cards, but if they did...

I swear, people today, just are not all there! Seriously...who the fuck pulls stunts like that, you know? God... And I'm totally glad you got the chance to get in the last word!

Sassy One said...

Where does Sammy think he gets off?! Glad he was put in his place tho!

soopy said...

just found this blog or whatever the hell they are called....April- never settle for second rate bullshit..Not all organisms of the male jandre are shitheads.

Dark Damian said...

Damn. I was really hoping to be the n------ who knocked Sammy the fuck out. I would've enjoyed that oh so very much. There goes Christmas.

Itchy said...

Man...Sammy is really a progressive person isn't he? Not only will he not easily let go of what he feels is "his" but he makes with the racist talk, too? Way to go Sammy...way to go.

Lisa said...

Bwahahahaha.... I hate ignorant racist mother fuckers.

I love little guys and football. It is just the cutest damn thing. Must see pics!

Rumblin Durango said...

You and your Chris Tucker references... I love it. Oh, shit, I said the "L" word. Sorry. ;) ~ Rick

Miss R said...

Go Ethan! Little tough guy, huh?

Kharma's a bitch and Sammy is a worthless, cockgobbling, scrotum licking motherfucker. Glad you're rid of the rat bastard.

fyrchk said...

And the best part. People Sammy is SHORT. So, he was probably looking UP at the guy when he started throwing slurs around.

Thank God you didn't procreate with him.

Kisses and I love you. Call a bitch, would ya?

Amanda said...

Picky is good. If you wait long enough, a good man will eventually show up. The wait is a bitch though.

My first thought about Sammy's beatdown: HIT THE FUCKER AGAIN!

Miss Sassy said...

He left you a shiner a few weeks back and you just stood there over him??
Wow. Inner Stregth Goddess.

Kids in ANY sports uniform MUST get pics posted immediately!!!

Oh, and if he throws around ILY after a week, he BETTER be able to live up to your measly expectations.
Glad you found your standards!!

mikey said...

Sammy sounds like quite a guy... I can't understand how you ever let him go!

Well, aside from the fact that he's all talk and no cock...

Seriously. I mean, it's one thing to be a redneck, but a really, really stupid redneck? Even the kinda stupid rednecks know that you don't go "on the road" to make racist remarks. That's the shit you do only when you've got home field advantage (read: surrounded by other like-minded rednecks).

Fuckin' dumbass.

art said...

I'm new to your site and don't pretend to know it all but your x needs his ass kicked big time. Just from what I see in the picture below I would be willing to do it myself. What a fucktard. Aren't there any men where you live who will stand up for a lady? Yea, I know I'm new and opinons blah,blah,blah. Hope I didn't offend you. But I also am glad you left the boy-child with a temper and am looking for someone decent,(no I'm taken and happy). lol Hey any men live in this lady's area? How does one beat a woman like that or let it happen for that matter? damn. peace~art

Sir Dirty Joke said...

Glad to have found your site. I will make sure to check it out more often

Anonymous said...

In shawshank redemption Red talks about getting "institutionalised". you seem to be a very evolved person still caged in one or other institution.......hope you free yourself some time.

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