Thursday, November 16, 2006

Add this to the list

Another benefit of having an artificial leg.........

When walking through a parking lot behind cars and some little, smelling like mothballs old lady doesn't see you walking right behind her vehicle decides that she wants to back up, it's nice to have a titanium leg to be hit by the bumper rather than breakable bones. And THAT ladies and gentlemen is why my leg costs more than her car.

Deep Throat of the Day: They really shouldn't let extremely old people drive.

20 comments:

NWJR said...

OMG are you serious?

Your next step should be to remove it and hit her over the head with it.

Coley said...

Holy Gawd April! Next time, give the woman a heart attack by falling to the ground and scream bloody murder.

And anyone over 55 should have to take a driving test EVERY year. I knew an OLD woman who got into TWO accidents in the same day (one of which took out a brick building) and they still let her drive. F*ing A.

Randi said...

Or you could always take your leg off and slam it against her trunk. I'm just saying. That's what I'd do.

Bill said...

I'd go with, "My leg! My leg! I think you took it right off."

hotdrwife said...

HA HA HA!! Oh man. Glad you and your "leg make of rocketship material" are okay.

The Lily said...

Amen to that deep thought. Unfortunately the elderly have AARP on their side to keep them on the road and a danger to other drivers.

AARP's getting as bad as the ACLU.

:)~ said...

I'm glad you are ok. We don't all drive that bad,I still ride a crotch rocket.

Somewhere in Milwaukee.

schmims said...

OUCH!

Jim McKee said...

I'd go with what Bill said! (I was thinking that already before I read the comments.)

Good blog, I will visit again. I've put a link to you on mine.

mojotek said...

OK, in that instance, its completely excusable to smack an old lady across the face.

vincentblackshadow said...

Soylent Green time by the sounds of it

Judy B said...

My grandmother had to drive into a storefront before they finally took away her license. And THEN it was because the family asked the doctor to contact DMV....the DMV would still be letting her drive. Well, except that now she's dead, but that's another story.

hugs!!
PS - I agree, you shudda told her she broke your leg off, or that you were paralyzed cuz you couldn't feel anything in that leg, or bashed her trunk in. Sometimes (and I can't believe I'm saying this) you are TOOO nice.

fyrchk said...

I am so glad we had lunch together today. I miss you mucho!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Amanda said...

omg! you should've kicked her old lady ass.

Kira said...

I like NWJR's suggestion.

I don't think I'd want to Soylent Green her though because that means we eventually have to eat her old lady ass. Yuck. I bet she doesn't taste like chicken.

js said...

haaaaaa
u should have flogged her with your leg
i agree old folks need to hitch a ride they cant drive worth diddly
jsull28fl@yaho

Miss Sassy said...

You insured that thing right?? You could have placed a claim on it, she'd have to sell the damn car to pay for the deductible, and there you have a Win-Win sitch ;)
So glad you were walking THAT way instead of THIS... though you with two titanium legs could be bad ass!

Dark Damian said...

You should keep a gun in your leg, Robocop style. That way you can whip that bitch out when someone wants to get funky on you.

Or snacks. Keep Cheetos in there.

J R Estelle said...

The 2 groups with the highest accident rate - Teens (from speed) and Elderly (from slower reflexes).

Sorry she hit you but I'm glad you're ok.

Dan said...

I have almost no recollection of how I ended up here but you have some pretty funny stuff here. Do you really have a titanium leg? That rocks!

Is the tongue titanium too? It appears to be sticking out in all of your photos. But that's cool too. :)