Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Christmas went really well. Ethan made out like a bandit, as usual, and I got some nice things as well. One of my gifts was a lotion/shower gel/body spray set in a cute clutch bag from Victoria's Secret. You'll NEVER guess who got me that? My husband's girlfriend's mother. How fucking funny is THAT??

There's a tradition that Ethan has done since he was 2. Some parents may not agree with it for obvious reasons, but my child is taught very well and to me it's not a big deal. Six years ago on Christmas Eve, Ethan and I were getting milk and cookies ready to leave for Santa. Well Ethan grabbed a can of beer from the fridge and asked if we could leave Santa a beer because that's what his daddy likes to drink. We thought it was cute, so we let him. And every year since then we've left Santa cookies and a beer. My mom thought that this was absolutely horrible and by letting him do that I'm teaching him bad morals. I know what morals I'm teaching my son and if I thought that leaving Santa a beer would be the catalyst which drove him to alcoholism, I'd never let him do it. But it's not, nor does he think anything of it other than he's giving Santa a beer to drink.

I was behind a car today which had a bumper sticker that had a picture of a cell phone with a big, red X over it with "Hang up and DRIVE" written next to it. Wouldn't you know that this mother fucker was gabbing away on HIS cell phone when I pulled up next to him at a red light. So I put down my passenger side window (he was to the right of me, obviously) and made the motion for him to roll his window down as I was smiling really big. When he did I said, "HANG UP AND DRIVE!!" The look on his face was priceless.

I'm addicted to Mickey D's sweet tea. It's the best shit in the world. Put a little lemon in that shit and it's almost as good as an orgasm. Anyway, the advertisement for this tea says it comes in a "stay cool cup" a.k.a. styrofoam. So when I go through the drive-thru to get one of these thirst quenching sweet teas, I expect it to come in a "stay cool cup." However, sometimes there's a lazy mother fucker who doesn't want to walk an extra step to grab a "stay cool cup" and gives me my satisfying sweet tea in a regular old plastic cup. I will, EVERY.SINGLE.TIME., give it back and ask for a "stay cool cup." JUST LIKE THE ADVERTISEMENT. Half the time the mother fucker looks at me like I'm crazy. Why? Because I speak ENGLISH. Enough said. The other half of the time, I get the ever-so-professional eye roll. To which I reply, "Sorry to make you work." Am I a bitch? Certainly.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!!

Deep Throat of the Day: I love getting gift cards for Christmas.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you have my attitude, seize the day, pull the trigger, drop the blade and watch the rolling heads. I had a great Christmas, glad you did too.

Sexy in Milwaukee.

Debbie said...

Merry Christmas!!!!

I loved the bumper sticker story. What an ass!

The beer for Christmas ain't no big thang. It's adorable.

NWJR said...

I left Santa a really good Riesling. He loved it (as I can attest to personally)

Randi said...

I used to pour my dad's beer when I wasn't even in the double digits yet so I don't want to hear it. Though Santa really shouldn't drink and drive the sleigh...

jsull28fl@yaho said...

Damn even Santa deserves a cool pop every now and then!
Don't sweat that.
Sugar you are from VA please for the love of Robert E Lee tell me that your momma, grand ma aunts somebody makes sweet tea better than Mickey D's. Anyway theirs is fit to drink but it doesn't hold a light to some down here.
Glad your christmas was good
js

hotdrwife said...

I cracked up at the 'hang up and drive' bit ... how funny!

Hope you had a great Christmas!

Jim McKee said...

It's not being a bitch to want them to serve items as advertised. That's being a smart consumer.

Macca said...

I love gift certs too. They are the best gifts.

The Soviet said...

santa likes miller high life. he told me so when i sat on his lap a few weeks ago.

J R Estelle said...

I think Santa should leave me a beer after all that shopping, damn. Oh yeah, I LOVED that "sorry to make you work" comment, because it's such a chore to work at a McDonalds, hell we all started at somewhere.

Glad your Xmas went well.