Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Regarding Yesterday

Wow, I must have sounded really shallow.

Let me say that the best guy I've ever dated wasn't the best looking. BUT, I actually WANTED him. There was serious attraction which was there until the end. The reason we're not together today is because he was an umpire for baseball and loved his job. He asked me to marry him and I couldn't because I didn't want to raise a family by myself for 7 months out of the year and I'm not selfish enough to ask him to quit his job to be with me. It's not often that people are doing the job they dreamed of since they were kids.

I also dated a guy who gained 80 pounds after we were together for a year and I still loved him AND was physically attracted to him.

What I was saying is that I want to be attracted to someone right off the bat. Is that wrong? No he doesn't have to be drop dead gorgeous, but attractive to ME. What I find attractive, you may not. I don't think that attraction is something that should have to grow on me just because the guy has everything else.

I love the flaws in people, after all I do have an artificial leg. I know no one is perfect, but someone can be perfect in my eyes and THAT'S what I want. I know people change as they get older, sometimes for the better. (I think I look better now at 28 than I did at 18 even without a leg, although I did have cute feet.) Hopefully when you're with someone you both can change and grow together. That's the beauty of a relationship. Unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way, but shit happens.

I just honestly feel bad because these nice guys I mentioned in the last post are fantastic and I honestly wish that I were attracted to them or at least one of them. I felt like there was something wrong with me for not being attracted to them because they do treat me so good. But my friend convinced me otherwise and made me realize that you can't force attraction and I don't have to settle just because they are nice guys.

I'm very sorry if I came across the wrong way or offended anyone. I know that I don't have to apologize either, but I feel that it's necessary because...well just because I do.

I hope all is well with everyone!!

Deep Throat of the Day: My son asked me this morning if I've ever been to a Pimp's & Ho's party. Good lord

17 comments:

The Lily said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Lily said...

Never mind. I just repeated you.

Redundancy Department of Redundancy, much?

But this is still relevant:
Love does not make sense.

Dysfunctional Sweetheart said...

All I have to say is that anyone who says they don't agree with everything you've said in the last 2 posts is lying, either to us, or to themselves. =)

Randi said...

I totally get what you're saying. Let's face it, though, looks matter. I mean, I would rather have a relationship with my shlubby ex than Brad Pitt lookwise so it doesn't have to be good looks but that's initially where the attraction lies.
Artificial limbs or not, you're a hottie.

Randi said...

I totally get what you're saying. Let's face it, though, looks matter. I mean, I would rather have a relationship with my shlubby ex than Brad Pitt lookwise so it doesn't have to be good looks but that's initially where the attraction lies.
Artificial limbs or not, you're a hottie.

Randi said...

I totally get what you're saying. Let's face it, though, looks matter. I mean, I would rather have a relationship with my shlubby ex than Brad Pitt lookwise so it doesn't have to be good looks but that's initially where the attraction lies.
Artificial limbs or not, you're a hottie.

V said...

You have nothing to feel bad about! I know EXACTLY what you are talking about.

Coley said...

I thought you'd made your point pretty well. I think it may have been misinterpreted a bit. I think we're all so self-conscious about our looks, it's hard to not get riled up. But lady, you know what you want/deserve, I hope you don't feel like you have to apologize. You're spot on.

And re: Pimp and Ho parties, SERIOUSLY!? What are they teaching kids these days? Just unbelievable. How do you even TRY to answer that question?

Amanda said...

Instead of typing a long comment and hijacking your post, I'm just gonna answer on my blog.

You answered with, "Yes, I've been to a Pimps and Ho's party, and I was the hottest pimp there!"

Debbie said...

Sweetheart, I knew what you were saying. I think we all feel that way.

Speaking of a Pimps and Ho's party, your invitation to mine is in the mail. That's funny.

schmims said...

I am so with you on that one. My friends that I paddle with were wanting me to date Greg. He is cute, funny, super smart, nice, interesting, we get along really well and always have a good time togeher. I just wasn't attracted to him in that way at all. And believe me, I tried. Really hard! And then I met Chris. He's not the best looking guy in the world, but to me he is and that's what I want. I think I need to go change my underwear...

NWJR said...

OK, honest admission: When I read the 12/12 post, my first instinct was, "wow, that's kind of shallow". After I read it a few more times (and before I commented), I kind of got it.

Now, with THIS post, I really DO get what you're saying. And I don't think you're shallow--in fact, I think you hit it spot-on.

During my dating days, the women I was most attracted to were the ones that were smart, witty, funny, and could challenge me. They weren't always good-looking, and one of them was, well...let's say she wasn't good-looking and leave it at that. Speaking strictly for me, smart trumps sexy. But that's MY bias. It doesn't make it YOURS, nor should it.

Anyway, if my earlier response to your post came across as arrogant, I apologize. You're right--you can't "force" attraction. Conversely, sometimes you can't resist it, either, even when it's oh-so-wrong. It's a weird thing, and trying to make it "one size fits all" is impossible.

Excellent post. EXCELLENT.

blossoms_stoned said...

gosh... totally relatable. Adding to that, it just seem unfair to me that butt ugly guys, can soemtimes be attractive and sexy, even, if they come with great personality (maybe big wallet :p) can still snag a hot chick, but somehow this doesn't really apply to the other gender...

jsull28fl@yaho said...

why dont I ever get invited to a pimp and ho party????
damn surely one of the roles would fit me.
you should be attracted to whoever you court, I all for folks being attracted/wanting the person phisicaly surely no one finds fault in that?
I wouldn't court a chick that was ugly as burnt cornbread either reguardless of their other attributes!!!
js

Anonymous said...

debbie, i do not have an address

Anonymous said...

why some people don't have dates...they are too busy typing away on a computer instead of having a real life.

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