Friday, February 16, 2007

Too Funny

I was going to ignore the anonymous comment from the pussy who said that I probably have a new STD but then I had a question. Anonymous, when you say new, do you mean like new as in addition to the ones that I already have (which are all curable with the exception of the herpes but I take my daily Valtrex to control the outbreaks) or do you mean NEW new, like fucked a screaming monkey in the jungle new? Because if it's that kind of new then I'd like for it to be named after me. I'll call it Apriliphyllis!! After all, it's not easy keeping those squirmy bastards still long enough for me to get mine. So listen, if you're in the position to make that happen, hook a sister up!!

And to Jim (not McKee) if you'd read more of my blog then just the last post, then you'd know that in the state of Virginia you cannot get a divorce until you've been separated for a YEAR. That year will be up in less than 2 months. You'd also know that my soon-to-be ex husband was physically and verbally abusive AND you'd know that he's been LIVING with his girlfriend. So before you start calling people names, get your facts straight you ignorant bastard. Because I am NOT trash or a cheater. I am however a fucking whore and a dirty tramp (although the dirty part is currently being disputed) AND I'm the soon-to-be founder of the brand new STD, Apriliphyllis. If you're gonna call me names, get it right dammit! Thankyouveryfuckingmuch!!

Deep Throat of the Day: I'm having too much fun with this.

27 comments:

KBear said...

Apriliphyllis!!! that's CLASSIC!!

i love it!

have a good weekend babe! cuddle mr. Ethan, and relax!!!

Randi said...

I'm glad you have such a humorous outlook on scum of the earth.
:o)

jsull28fl@yaho said...

haaaaaaaaa
atta girl!!!!
you need to also tell them you are a sexy fucking whore and hott dirty tramp.
that matters you know
js

The Lily said...

A, you must be seriously threatening the collective manhood. The Order of the Small Pee-pee has many members, all angry and with "nuh-uh, you are!!" comebacks.

But seriously, how sick does someone have to be to call a woman names who is separating from a man who cheated on her and was physically abusive?

Amanda said...

Thank you, April. I've had a shitty day, and the "fucked a screaming monkey in the jungle" line cracked me up. Where the hell are these idiots coming from?

You're the best fucking whore and cleanest dirty tramp I know!

fyrchk said...

April, do you remember if I've fucked any anon commenters?

I mean...there was that one guy, bug he SWORE he loved me.

wjc said...

The thing we're now all saying to ourselves is "Self, where can I get me some of this Apriliphyllis?"

It sounds like a hell of a lot of fun and based on the whore/tramp comments I'm assuming that you're passing samples of it out for free? Shit, tell me where to line up!!

Jim McKee said...

April, once the shower is fixed, maybe you can be a clean tramp?

Just sayin'...

And if you're lucky, maybe you can get royalties when other people get Apriliphyllis. See, I'm trying to look out for your financial well-being!

(BTW, the last part of that is "Phyllis". Coincidence?)

;-]

P.S. Thanks for blogrolling me!

~Tori said...

i so pink puffy heart you!

Debbie said...

Why are people being so mean to you? I love you. You're a doll.

I don't get it.

Coley said...

Clearly the hotness that is April is very threatening to some.
And if you went through all the hard work of capturing, domesticating, and restraining a primate, you've earned the honor of having the new STD named for you.
Congratulations!
(In a side note, I knew a girl in college who had a new type of herpes named after her. Not a "GENITAL" variety, more like a "chicken pox" variety. Just Saying...)

Rainman said...

After reading some of the dumbass anonymous comments on the previous post all I could think was, man some people just need to get a life.

Great blog, keep telling it like it is and congrats on the great new disease name!

Maine said...

Apriliphyllis?

God said...

April, I hearby proclaim you disease-free. Go forth and copulate with pride.

And as for you anonymous assholes too pussy to leave your names...I know who you are. And I smite you in the name of me.

Punk-asses.

Anonymous said...

You are technically still married. Technically, you are cheating. And your new bf will no doubt dump you within about a month or so.

april said...

Anon: Technically I am LEGALLY SEPARATED and you can ask any attorney that if you're not living in the same residence (which you can't if you're legally separated)and you've had the paperwork done to make you and your spouse officially and LEGALLY SEPARATED, then the adultry laws DO NOT apply because IT'S NOT CHEATING!! Now that I was able to catch you on here within a reasonable amount of time, I know your IP addy and location. Not that it matters, but I'm just sayin'.

And if my new boyfriend does dump me in about a month, then it's HIS LOSS and I'll have no problems finding someone else.

SO, why don't you try to come up with something else because you're not smart enough, clever enough, or cute enough to be posting dumb ass comments on my blog. Ya dumb fuck!!

Coley said...

Holy Crap, Maine's out of hiding and out spreading the comment love? Sweet!
Do you all love the way anon up there feels justified in getting all up in everyone's business? Because, I sure do! Jebus people! If you're really SO offended, just stop reading. It's not hard. Just click somewhere else and get the hell out of here!

Anonymous said...

Oh no, you know my IP address and location!! Well I know my location is listed as "united states" - that narrows it down...

And of course, I know your first name, your general location, and with some research, I'm sure I could be more specific. Just sayin'.

By the way, I guarantee I could beat you by at least 20 points in an IQ test. You piece of trash.

NWJR said...

Wow. All that pent-up anger from your "anonymous" poster.

I've been pondering his anger, and I've come to the conclusion that he must have been dumped by some bar slut who he thought would be an easy fuck, but laughed at his miniscule penis when it came time to get nekkid. Now he directs his misplaced anger at his own perceived inadequacies into insulting women all over the blogosphere, rather than channeling his substantial energies into compensating for his small prick by becoming a Lickmaster From the East.

I bet he uses tweezers every time he needs to addres his "IP", ifyouknowwhatImean. And he still can't give oral worth a damn.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Sassy One said...

April,
Mediocrity will always attack excellence.
Perhaps even mediocrity is saying a lot to some anon commenters...

jsull28fl@yaho said...

I got my money on anyone who would open their cock sucker to spew some idiotic shit like is a pussy. He'd never dream of popping his mouth in real life, ever. April I bet you could take him, he's 5'3 135 and eat up with the little mans disease, dont let them get to you, they aint worth it. I have observed that he only pops off at goodlooking chicks though, maybe its really a compliment to you and sassy!
js

Kira said...

I guess I just don't understand why anybody would have so few friends, so little to do in his life that the biggest excitement of the morning--besides jack off with his lover and best friend, Mr. Right Hand--is then to leave anonymous and insulting comments on a person's blog. Why? What a weird thing to do to give oneself an erection. I recommend porn. It's quicker, free on the net, and gets anon away from this site where nobody wants him (but hey, that's probably part of the thrill, eh?)

tkkerouac said...

who were you sticking your tongue at?

Christie said...

lmao!!!!

Jezzy said...

Oooh - you have an Internet troll! Scary!!! Ooooooh!!

Anonymous said...

April,

The trials and tribulations that a person faces in life can make them stronger. Stand tall, stay tough without being hardened too much by the negative people in the world. And always keep a positive attitude. I know because I have been there.

Sexy in Milwaukee.

Cappy said...

Er, did I pick a bad time to start reading this blog?