I need to post more. I was doing really good there for a while then Grammy died and I got a little discombobulated. I promise to try and do better.
I decided to go to Victoria's Secret during my lunch break today. BIG MISTAKE!! See, I only get an hour for lunch. It's a 30 minute total trip, there and back. That leaves me with 30 minutes to look around (simple math but I can't assume everyone would know that). Me, being the hate-to-shop person that I am, decided that 30 minutes would be PLENTY of time to find something to buy with my $50 gift card. Which everyone knows that $50 doesn't get you very far in VS. But I got the card for Christmas and knowing me, that bitch will expire before I ever use it. Anyway, I managed to try on 4 bras that didn't fit, about 6 different perfumes that all stunk, a lip-plumper that burned the shit out of my lips rather than plump them, 2 different body glitter things, 3 different eye shadows, who knows how many lotions, and opened one box of perfume that whistled at me. That perfume actually smelled pretty good and the BOX WHISTLED when you opened it. How fucking cool is that?!?!
When I got back to work (25 minutes late) I smelled like a French whore, looked as shiny as a disco ball, and had skin more slippery than a greased pig being chased by a bunch of rednecks. And I STILL didn't use a single penny of my gift card. Now THAT'S the American way right there.
I hope y'all had a wonderful weekend and are having a fantastic day!!
Deep Throat of the Day: A box that whistles. Who'da thunk it.