So I'm in the office, alone, when these 2 very well dressed women walk in the door. All of the sudden, they both unbutton their suit jackets and expose their beautiful breasts to me which I couldn't help but to grab. Next thing you know, we're all making out in some wild, lesbian-ish threesome. Just kidding. But seriously, here's what really happened........
Me: "Good afternoon. How can I help you?"
Woman#1: "Hi, my name is Douche Bag, this is Tampon, and we're with your local telephone company. Is there anyone here we can speak with about your phone service?"
Now before I finish the story, I must tell you that there is a very visible sign on our front door that says NO SOLICITORS.
Me: "No, there's not."
Woman#2: "There's no one here who can discuss your phone service?"
Me: "Um, no."
Woman#1: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Is this a joke? Am I being secretly video taped?"
Woman#1: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "Well, I just answered the SAME question TWICE telling you that there is NO ONE here to discuss our phone service with you and then you go and ask me a dumb ass question like "ARE YOU SURE." You guys don't look like you're dumb enough to be acting the way you are so I figure that I must be having a joke played on me."
Woman#2: "Listen, you don't need to be rude. I just need to speak with someone about your phones."
Me: "And like I've told you THREE DAMN TIMES now, THERE'S NO ONE HERE!! Now turn around and go away and do me a favor, when you shut the door, please make a note of the big sign that says NO SOLICITORS! Just in case you don't know what that means, it means don't come back. Now buh-bye."
Needless to say, they left. I can be such a bitch, I know. But I just can't stand some people. Really.
Deep Throat of the Day: When in doubt ask yourself, "are you sure?"