Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Weirdo Magnet Story #2

I'm at the gas station last week waiting in line to pay for my gas. There was an old man (old enough to be my grandfather) in line behind me.

Wrinkly: "I see you're drivin' one of them rice burners."
Me: "Yeah, I'll never own another American made car again because they've not been reliable for me."
Wrinkly: "Why? Are you one of them terrorists?"
Me: (laughing)"Do I LOOK like a terrorist?"
Wrinkly: "Who knows. Them crazy bastards could be brainwashing pretty girls like you and turning you into a towel head. Are you a towel head?"
Me: "Do you see a towel on my head?" (Now I'm just laughing some more because I can't believe that this conversation is even taking place. I'm waiting for some MTV's Boiling Points camera's to pop up around the corner or some shit.)
Wrinkly: "You think this is funny don't you? These crazy towel-head Bin Laden lovers are hiding everywhere! You never know who's one of them. You, that kid over there, or the fellow behind the counter!! You all could be one of them American haters so this ain't no laughin' matter!!"
Me: "Sir, listen. I drive my Honda because I have a rather long commute. I drive it because it's not only great on gas and will last forever, but it will also hold it's value. I DO NOT drive it because I'm some crazy terrorist or an "American hater" as you put it. But I've gotta tell you that it's people like YOU who make people in other countries think that our country sucks. Get some fucking help and have a great day!"
Wrinkly: "You're the one who needs help you Commie!! Go buy a real car like a Ford!"

Deep Throat of the Day: That's all I've got to say about that.

18 comments:

Amanda said...

Please! Please! Get out of Virginia!

schmims said...

I think it's the state you're living in.

Itchy said...

People are awesome. Especially here in Virginia.

A Margarita said...

I partly agree with schmims. However, those ignorant people exist everywhere, even in "enlightened" circles like universities. WHat can you do but call them on their bullshit and walk on?

Jim McKee said...

You got Punk'd! Only, Ashton had the day off that day.

;-]

Coley said...

That's pretty glorious. You have to wonder what this guy says to people with dark skin, if he'll give you that shit over the CAR you drive.

Yeah, because if you buy a non-American car, the terrorists have won.

(Incidentally, I drive a Ford, and not one piece of it was made in the US. My Dad's Camry, all made in the US. So, put THAT in Asshole's pipe and smoke it!)

J R Estelle said...

My current car is a Ford (Mustang) and I love it, but my next car will be a "rice burner" of some sort. And if I'm really lucky, it'll be the Aston Martin V12 Vanquish Convertible.

Kira said...

I have a rice burner. I had a mercury lynx as my first car, and it sucked...13000 miles and it breaks down = sucks. My next two cars were mazdas, and they have been incredibly reliable. I don't hate America, either. I just actually want to GET to my destination. Imagine that.

Johnny said...

Heyyyya good lookin
Watcha got cookin?

Howzabout cookin
sumpin up
wif meeeee!!!
:P

ole j said...

im with u 100%
i wear towels and drive smart cars. My f-250 is smart as it can be. It can self navigate me home from damn near anywhere!!!!
hehe
js

NWJR said...

It has nothing to do with Virginia. I can easily imagine that conversation in Upstate NY as well.

Still, it made me laugh like hell. Thanks for that!

NWJR said...

One more thought: I once owned a Nissan pickup, and my Dad had a Dodge. My Dad was very conservative, and only drove "American" cars. He started giving me shit about my Nissan, and I pointed out that my Nissan was built in Tennessee by Americans, while his Dodge had a label on the back that said, "IMPORTED FOR Dodge". He was driving a "rice burner" after all.

"My so-called foreign car put more money in American pockets than your Dodge," I told him. "The only American that made money on your car was the dealer."

That shut him up.

;-)

Angela Z said...

Where do you find these "folks"? I just don't get the connection between a Japanese car and Bin Laden? Wow! That is way over the top. I own two "foreign" cars.........one manufactured in Japan and the other Toyota? Here in the states. Whatever, redneck. Read a book!

Angela Z said...

Where do you find these "folks"? I just don't get the connection between a Japanese car and Bin Laden? Wow! That is way over the top. I own two "foreign" cars.........one manufactured in Japan and the other Toyota? Here in the states. Whatever, redneck. Read a book!

The Soviet said...

i'm a communist. and i drive a ford.

hotdrwife said...

What a dipshit!!

mojotek said...

"But I've gotta tell you that it's people like YOU who make people in other countries think that our country sucks. Get some fucking help and have a great day!"

Please tell me you really said that to him! I love how you snuck the f-bomb in there right at the end after being so rational.

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with the people in Virginia? Is it the water?