Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Wow. Just wow.

Ethan had a baseball game this past Saturday and his friend was on the team playing against Ethan's. Well his friend is the son of the Colin Farrell look alike (MILY) I dated a while back. Anyway, MILY was there with his new girlfriend and let me just tell you about this thing, I mean girl.

She was close to 6 feet tall with GIGANTIC boobs (I'm 99.9% sure they were fake). She had very short, dried and fried bleached blond hair with black roots. She was sporting very long, very fake, and very bright blue finger nails, with a very tacky tattoo on her hand of a pitbull's head. She was wearing a VERY low cut black tank top that showed about 10 inches of her watermelon titty cleavage. And her neck was adorned with not 1, not 2, not even 3, but 4 trashy hickeys. Her shirt was showing her belly which was conveniently over-flowing from the waist-band of her jeans looking like a tube of biscuits that was just popped open. Oh and did I mention that she's a stripper?

So yeah, this perfect epitome of trailer trash was walking around the baseball field. Please keep in mind that this is a CHILDREN'S baseball game.

There is a point to me providing you with such a horrible image in your head. I was having a conversation with MILY and his Trash when Ethan ran up to me:

Ethan: "Hey Mommy! Oh hey MILY!" Then he looked at Trash and got this confused yet disgusted look on his face and said, "Who's THAT?"
MILY: "That's my girlfriend, Trash"
Ethan made a little laugh then got a serious face and said, "WOW." Then he looked up at me like, what the fuck is THAT, and ran off.

You have NO IDEA how hard it was to keep from cracking the fuck up. They both just looked at me like I was supposed to do something about what he said. But hey, he's just calling it like he sees it, right?

Deep Throat of the Day: What the fuck is he thinking?


KBear said...

ew. ew. EEWW!!

your kid? AWESOME!!!!! love him to bits!

i almost peed i laughed so hard!

Coley said...

I'm continually surprised by some men's blindness when it comes to women.
Though a friend once explained it to me when I asked how he could like such a terrible, vapid, unattractive girl. Sean explained, "Well, I used to really dislike her, but then I saw her in profile, and now everything is going through the Boob Filter."

Really spoke volumes to me.

Randi said...

I looked at a pic of my ex's wife and told him it was too bad I was so much better looking than her. LOL

Bill said...

I think men want to find women attractive, so we focus on things that we like and try to ignore the other stuff.

NWJR said...

"conveniently over-flowing from the waist-band of her jeans looking like a tube of biscuits that was just popped open."


That's some funny shit. Thanks for the belly laugh (no pun intended).

jsull28fl said...

thats funny stuff right there
i dont know why anyone over 14 would have a visible hickey
thats insane
nice visual too, pop biscuts?
if ur guts hang over your belt (like mine) please cover it up!

J R Estelle said...

I love kids for that reason ALONE!

Jim McKee said...

She sounds like a total hottie.


mojotek said...

Your kid definitely has a good head on his shoulders if he recognizes trash when he sees it. Lets hope he doesn't have any bouts of "beer-goggle-itis" when he gets to college.

schmims said...

You are in the state of VA. When are you moving to FL?

J R Estelle said...

Oh I forgot, we call that
"tube of overflow" the "muffin top"