Thursday, June 14, 2007

Damn. Damn it all!

My boobs hurt. I don't mean just a little achy feeling. I mean I want to rip them from my chest or cut them off with a machete, throw them down on the ground, kick the living shit out of them then set them on fire. These fuckers feel like they must weigh 30 pounds each. Don't get me wrong they look GREAT, all round, big and just NICE. But fuck nice when they hurt so damn bad.

Why must I endure such pain EVERY.SINGLE.FUCKING.MONTH? Why? It's bad enough I have to bleed from my crotch, cry for no apparent reason, get irritated at the slightest things, cramp like a mother fucker, and have diarrhea to boot? I hate the female reproductive system. HATE.IT.

I know that you REALLY needed to know all that, but fuck it. It's my blog and if I wanna talk about my menstrual symptoms then that's what I'm talking about. If you wanna hear about butterflies, flowers, and all that is good in the world, this isn't the place. Buh-bye.

Deep Throat of the Day: Bilateral Hysto-salpingo-oophorectomy. I want one.

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Have a great day. :)

Randi said...

Nothing cures constipation like menstruation.

OhSuzyKuew said...

Are you taking any birth control pills? If so, that could be making it worse, and if not, then that might help your boobies not hurt so bad! It will also help with mentrual flow, cramps, and mood swings. I am currently taking Yasmin, and my flow went from 'like a stuck pig for a week and a half' to just barely there for only 3 days.

BTW, I just ran across your blog yesterday. I'm finding it very entertaining! Thanks!

J R Estelle said...

Ok....I started zoning out after "all round, big and just NICE"...thanks! :)

Ron said...

I'm so glad I don't have one of those uterus thingies!

Hope you get through it. Go smack something or someone around, it may make you feel better.

Coley said...

Oh man. I hear that action. I love screaming at those around me for absolutely no reason, only to continue screaming, "I don't know why I'm yelling at you! I'm crazy and I'm sorry, but I can't stop! AAAAHAHAHHAH!"

Time to take a few painkillers, have a drink and make pissy comments to anyone within listening distance.

Itchy said...

Being a girl can be so much fun...

Carmel Beauty said...

Okay I understand your pain just Aunt Flo just left and I wish the bitch would never come back

Bill said...

I've really got nothing to say to this, period.

cracka j said...

well
your breasteses do look wonderful best I can tell.
I for one do not hate the female reproductive system
well at least not the accessable port to it.
In the deep throat the thing you wanted, hmmmmmmmmm, I think I had that once, a shot of penicillian cleared it right up!!!
;)~
hope you feel mo betta

Anonymous said...

Uhhhh Ewwwww! :) Feel Better!

Amanda said...

When the doctor increased the dosage on my birth control pills, most of my symptoms went away. Only the bitchiness remains, but I'm pretty sure that's just my personality. :)

KBear said...

oh shit.. that sucks.

i feel your pain. literally. i dont get sore boobs thankfully, but every month or so (i sometimes skip a month, making things worse) i get a cyst. and for 45 minutes to 3 hours, im on the bathroom floor wishing i was dead. passing out, throwing up, and in EXTREME pain.. anti inflammatories don't work, and they say i dont have cysts, cause they cant find them (they only show on period days! idiots!)

so i know how you feel.. i really really do.

hope you feel better

Christie said...

I hate periods!

Hope you feel better soon

NWJR said...

Huzzah! This is the kind of anger and angst that I search for on blogs every single day!

And I know--I just KNOW--that you'll have a happy fuzzy puppy post next time.

dukethor said...

The root of hysterectomy, hyster, is also the root word for hysteria. Something made me think of that, altho I'm not sure what.

The Soviet said...

god i am SO glad i'm not a girl.

mojotek said...

I REALLY wish there was something I could about this for my girlfriend. The bigger boobs are great, if that was the only side-effect of PMS. The mood-swings, irritability, and general wacked-out-of-her-gourd-crazy I could do without.

Kira said...

My boobs ache every month too. It always freaks me out even though I'm on birth control because sore boobs was ALSO the indicator of pregnancy for both of my kids. There should have been an on/off switch for our uterus. That would have made life much easier.