"We're letting you go."
"Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
"You ain't gotta go home, but you gotta get the hell up out of here."
We found a replacement for the dumb ass who spent the majority of her day yesterday reading magazines about brutality to gorillas. She was nearly in tears because "Gorillas are my favorite animals and I can't believe someone would hurt them like this." So today is the day that her employment here is terminated. For a brief second I started to get that feeling in my stomach like I might be making the wrong choice by firing her. Then I realized that I just had to fart. Don't worry, it didn't stink.....too bad. Please don't feel bad for her. She'll do good at another job. I think selling shoes would be her forte. No, that umm would umm like require umm her to like ummm talk to ummm like umm people. Yeah, it's like that. What's crazy is that she interviewed so damn well. Maybe she's got a twin who lands her jobs by blowing people away in the interview?
In other news, I took Ethan camping this weekend in Pennsylvania. We had a blast. However, when we were at the camp ground I had a little girl say something to me that really just blew my mind.
As most of you know, I have a below the knee prosthetic leg. Since my leg isn't the kind that looks all real and shit, I wear pants out in public 100% of the time. The reason for this is because I don't want to be the center of attention everywhere I go, and trust me on this one, I would. So Saturday afternoon the rain cleared and the sun came out, causing some hot, sticky, nasty humidity. I decided at that I was going to take off my jeans and put on a pair of shorts. And of course, I couldn't walk around the camp ground without being stared at by EVERYONE. I was completely uncomfortable, but at least I wasn't sweating as bad. Anyway, during a trip to the bathroom, this little girl (maybe 5 or 6 y/o) came up to me and said, "My mommy says that you should cover your leg because kids shouldn't have to see it." I *wanted* to say, "Take me to your mommy sweetie so I can shove this leg up her ass." Instead I said, "Well sweetie, I did have pants on but it's so hot that I had to put on shorts. Besides that, my robot leg is way cool and I like showing it off to people because I'm the only one here with one. Don't you think it's cool?" She said, "Yeah!! Does it hurt? Can I touch it?" I told her, "No, it doesn't hurt at all, and of course you can touch it." She touched the titanium and just thought it was the coolest thing ever. No big deal.
I feel bad for that little girl having to grow up with such an ignorant mother who is too scared to tell her kid about prosthetics. No, some children may not understand it, but they can learn to accept it or any other things that make people a little different. Not to mention that I later saw her mother and that bitch had no business wearing shorts either. My fake leg looked way better than either of her cottage cheese covered tree stumps. Bitch!
I hope y'all are having a great week so far!
Deep Throat of the Day: Cock and balls.