Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Assfucks

The following is going to be a very negative, completely juvenile, absurdly ridiculous post filled with lots and lots of bad words. You've been warned.

*I HATE dumb ass motherfucking cocksucking people who don't know how to fucking drive! It's because of THESE people that I go INFUCKINGSANE and drive like a maniac. I'm a bitch on a mission when I'm behind the wheel and that's to get to where I need to go WITH the proper amount of speed to not cause a migraine. That's right, if I'm going too slow, my head starts pounding, palms start sweating, and obscenities start flying from my mouth. It's not pretty. Yet there are IGNORANT fuckers around here who somehow don't seem to know the speed limit on the road they're driving on.....so they drive slow. Holding shit up. Then there's the motherfuckers who slam on their fucking brakes when they see blue lights ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!! I understand slowing down to the speed limit, but slamming on your brakes causes you to deserve a fucking beating!

*I HATE that this phone at work won't stop ringing. And what I HATE even more is hearing when I answer, "Please hold for an important phone call. A representative will be with you shortly." Ummmmmmm FUCK YOU!! Who in the world actually stays on the line for these things? This is officially the worst idea ever and the person who thought of it should have his/her pubic hairs individually plucked out.

*I HATE BITCHES!

*I HATE my uterus!

*I HATE Tom Brady. Pussy ass mother fucker.

*I HATE the fact that Romo is being compared to Favre.

*I HATE my commute!

*I HATE I95!

*I HATE MOTHERFUCKERS, DOUCHE BAGS, ASSFUCKS, AND THE GOOFY LOOKIN' COCK-LICKER WHO SAID "Wooo weee, I bet your pussy tastes good" while stopped at a light on my lunch break!

*I do however LOOOOOOOOVE THIS LITTLE GEM (NSFW). Best toy invention since the wall banger!

Deep Throat of the Day: Colander = Strainer. Fucking Idoit!

7 comments:

Itchy said...

Few things piss me off as much as people slamming on their brakes for a cop that already has someone pulled over! Come on people...is the cop really going to see you whiz by and decide to let the dude go he has to come after you? No...no he isn't. Carry on with your speed, or just...gradually slow down. Dammit.

NWJR said...

I hate it when I write "Fucking Idoit" when I *really* meant to write, "Fucking Idiot!"

Know what I mean?

;-)

(Please don't hate me because I wrote that...I get the feeling that being on your bad side would be a horrible thing!)

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I'm sensing anger.

Anger is the fuel of great blogs.

I'll be watching you.

Rach said...

Get it all out there, am lovin your rant

J R Estelle said...

I'm with you on the driving thing, here in Atlanta it's crazy! But the um...pussy comment, what kind of dumb motherfucker says that to a woman?

jsull28fl@yaho said...

AMEN Sista
carr on!
I drive all over for a living and agree shitty drivers suckkkkkkkkk
Why the fuck do the blue lights IN FRONT of you make you go slow???
He has already got someone pulled over you stupid motherfucker
Makes my fuckin had hurt. And the dumb asses who are going 75.5 and are passing (for 15 miles) someone going 75!
WTF
Get the fuck outof the fast lane.
If your hair is blue you should not be allowed to drive, new rule
carry on girl

And surely your response to the taste of your lil stuff was "you can be sure a fat ugly immature, idiot like you will never have the pleasure of finding out, except in your mind, if that is bigger than your dick and can hold a thought long enough!
js

Anonymous said...

What is "NSFW", your little gem?

And did anyone ever think that traffic should slow down so no one hits the nice officer sir who is going back and forth from squadcar to speedfreak? Speaking as someone with only one more point to go before suspension, I would feel really really bad if somebody ran over the nice officer sir who was trying to issue me yet one more ticket. Especially if it was a nice Clarke County officer sir.