Thursday, December 13, 2007

I know, I know

So it's been forever since my last post and I have no excuses, I just suck.

Since the ex-husband and I split up, we've had to do the whole sharing holidays thing with Ethan. I've really been ok with that and I still am, but this year it's been a little hard for me. On Thanksgiving, Ethan went with Sammy, his girlfriend, and her family to Pennsylvania for a week. That was my first holiday EVER not spending with my son. Then during a conversation Sammy and I were having to coordinate Ethan's gifts, he told me that he got Ethan the Nintendo DS and that I could get him some games if I wanted. So if I got him the games, then he wouldn't be able to open them Christmas morning at my house because why would he have games and no DS, right? I then suggest to Sammy that Ethan could spend the night at his house on Christmas Eve so he could get the DS first. That's where I messed up.

See, I'm not much on Christmas. The only thing that I REALLY like about the holiday is the look on Ethan's face when he sees all of the presents under the tree, the note from Santa and the cookie crumbs left over from what Santa ate. That's the best gift I'll ever get. And I just gave that gift away. Call me a fucking genius!

On Sunday when I was picking Ethan up, I was telling Sammy and his girlfriend that this will be the first Christmas I've not been able to see Ethan when he wakes up, blah blah blah. I wasn't telling them because I had changed my mind, it just was part of the conversation. Anyway, this morning Sammy called and asked me if I wanted to come to their house early Christmas morning so I can see Ethan's face and watch him open all of his presents. I told him I'd let him know because I just don't know how I feel about that. They live at his girlfriends parents house. Would that just be too weird or what? I don't know.

Deep Throat of the Day: Exactly 2 months from today until I'm the big 30. But who's counting?

16 comments:

NWJR said...

OK, my opinion?

Go.

Yeah, it's a bit weird, but it's going to be a bit weird from here on in anyway, so you might as well do what makes you and Ethan happy. I'm sure he'd love to have you there, and clearly you'd love to spend the time with him. Fuck the rest of the shit and go. It was actually a nice offer, IMHO.

That's my two cents.

(Don't fret the 30 thing. It's cool. You'll love your thirties!)

J R Estelle said...

Yes, go. You're not going for your ex, you're going for your son.

I love my 30's.

And...uh...they live at the gf's parent's house?

Amanda said...

Go. You deserve to be there with Ethan.

Eva said...

It sounds like a peace offering. Or, if there is no call for a peace offering then just a generally peaceful offering.... I'd go. Gobble up as many moments with your little boy as possible :)

Kira said...

I know it had to be weird for my ex to come over at 8a on Christmas morning one year and get to stare at Alex, too...but he did it because even though he's an ass in so many ways, he loves his kids and wanted to see them open up their presents. The kids were THRILLED with his decision to do that and to also act "normally" around me and Alex. Awkward for the first few minutes, but fine after that, and a memory your son will cherish too--I'd definitely do it.

Carmel Beauty said...

Go I believe that you should try it just for Ethan's sake and yours you don't want to miss that if at all possible. Also remember this next year if he will be with you just offer to invite the ex-band as a peace offering. :-)

The Soviet said...

30 rocks the cock! you're gonna love it.

almost as much as i love brett favre and want to ride that mississippi john deere all the way through the playoffs (since my saints ain't gettin' it done).

p.s. and i think you should go.

JsTzznU said...

I say go too! The two of you split, but it doesn't have anything to do with your Son. Your Son will always remember that the two of you worked together for HIM =)

Oh and the 30 thing.. try turning 50 LOL.. JsT sayng!

Randi said...

It'll probably be a smidge awkward but seeing your little man happy will make it all worth while.

Trishie said...

Okay, I wasn't going to put in my $.02, but after reading your previous entries (which just about made me cry my freakin' eyes out) I definitely think that you should go.

Sure, it might be awkward for you, but why miss one Christmas with your kid? There may be a day when he looks back on this Christmas and says, "My mom went a Christmas gathering with my dad, his new girlfriend and her family. My mom did it because she loves ME and wanted to be with ME, and sucked it up even though it was weird for her".

I totally would look up to you for that.

~Deb said...

Oooooooooooooof, that would feel weird on all parties, you, the girlfriend and her parents. Why is he living with her at the parents' house? Is that temporary? Or do they rent a spot from them? Hrmmmmm...

I'm sorry about what you're going through. How precious that you want to see his face on Christmas. My heart goes out to you.

Hope you have a beautiful Christmas.

Southern Sage said...

30?
damn you are nearly a fossel!!!!
Have a big Christmas!!
jsull

The Lily said...

That's rough. We did our first split holiday this year, too. From my own experience (even being grown), it'll be awkward forever but (coordination) practice makes perfect and happy holidays. Good luck!

Jim McKee said...

It's OK... 50 is the new 30... that means you'll be... 10?

OK, maybe that needs a little more thinking...

;-]

Jim McKee said...

It's OK... 50 is the new 30... that means you'll be... 10?

OK, maybe that needs a little more thinking...

;-]

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