Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Choose your words wisely

So I figured I'd try my hand at the internet dating thing. I've went out on 2 dates with nice, but not so attractive men. Then my 3rd date was with a guy named Joe. Here is how one of our phone calls prior to meeting went.

Joe calls, we were laughing, carrying on and generally having what I would consider a wonderful conversation. Some where during the conversation he realizes how perfect I am (I think we were in a heated discussion about football which automatically makes me perfect to *most* men) anyway he says...

Him: "Wow, you sound like the perfect woman. You're not going to show up on our date with one leg or some shit, are you?"

Now for those of you who know that I really do only have one leg, you're laughing your asses off right now. For those of you who don't...you can see the humor in that, right?

So I'm now cracking the fuck up!!

Me: "Would it be bad if I did?"
Him: "Well it would be one hell of a shocker if you got out of your car and started hopping towards me."
Me: "But what if I got out of my car and started walking towards you with a prosthetic?"
Him: "I don't know, why are you asking me that?"
Me: "Because that's exactly what I'm going to do!"
Him: "Shut the fuck up!! You're just messing with me!"
Me: "No, I'm being serious. I was in a car accident and had to have my right foot amputated."
Him: "You're not joking, are you?"
Me: "Nope."
Him: "Oh God, now I feel like such a fucking asshole!"
Me: "Don't worry about it, how could you have known?"

So we still went on our date and we had a really really good time. And....we're going out again this Saturday!

Deep Throat of the Day: Of all the ailments he could've chosen, he had to go with the one leg bit. That's my luck!


Bill said...

At least he didn't say something about being a Favre fan.

ohsuzykuew said...

OMG! That's insane! It must be fate.. Good luck honey!

Sassy One said...

What are the odds?! hahaha
Have fun on Saturday!

NWJR said...

I'm blaming you for the Diet Coke I snorted all over my keyboard when I read that.

Good stuff.

Randi said...

OMG Classic!

Carmel Beauty said...

I am glad you had a good time and find that hilarious maybe you two are made for each other.

Coley said...

I almost peed my pants when I read his comment. Seriously? Hilarious!

J R Estelle said...

Hey at least he acknowledged that he was a fucking asshole for saying that, but then apologized!

fyrchk said...

Kinda like when I asked you why you always wear white socks? Then when you showed me your leg I tried to crawl under the desk and hide?

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Jason said...

Wow...I was looking for people interested in poker and I came across this blog. I was reading it, and couldn't believe some of what I was reading. Your list of movies is interesting. If this guy doesn't work out for you drop me a line. I'm from Wisconsin, and my license plate is "FV4MVP". Go Pack!

Southern Sage said...

that could be the funniest shit i have ever heard!
good luck with the dude!

Kira said...

Bwahahahaha! Oh man, that's hilarious. I had to share it with Alex, and he thought it was great too. Awesome! And ya still had a good time, eh?