Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Double Digits

Next Monday, the 7th of July, my son is going to be ten. ONE ZERO. That's two numbers put together rather than a single digit which he's been for the past 9 years. He's going to be a fucking DECADE!!! I think I'm having a harder time dealing with this than I did when I turned 30 this past February.

I suppose this is due to the fact that he's still at the age where he calls me Mommy. He still likes to snuggle with me on the couch. He still wants me to kiss his boo-boos. He's still afraid of the dark. (shhh, don't tell him I told you that) He still wants me to rub his tummy when it's upset. He still likes watching cartoons. He still says funny things that can only come from the mouthes of babes. He's still my baby. I know he's always going to be my baby, but not like this.

And yes, there are great things to look forward to......proms, graduations, college, marriage, grandchildren, etc. They will all be wonderful. But man, why does it gotta seem like it's all happening so fast? Change is inevitable, I know that. But that doesn't mean that I gotta like it right away.

And I'm scared. It scares the shit out of me that no matter how hard I try to be the best mom I can, regardless of the good values and morals I instill in him, that there are so many outside forces in this world that are working against me. I can only hope that he choses the right paths to be the best person he can. A good man. Someone who is strong willed, kind and considerate, without prejudice and knows that we all bleed the same.

See, now I'm crying so I'm going to stop here. Hope ya'll have been doing well.

Deep Throat of the Day: Damn hormones.


fyrchk said...

He will be a good man. And even if he makes a mistake, you will still love him. Because you're his mommy. And since we just had a discussion about moms, I know you know what I'm talking about.

Love you!

NWJR said...

He'll be fine. Really. Just enjoy every moment, because as you're discovering, they go by too damn fast.

The Soviet said...

all your stories about ethan ... he's going to be a great man. how could he not with such a great mom?

J R Estelle said...

I echo that, he will be a good man, because you are a good mom, and that makes all the difference.

Southern Sage said...

he'll be a good man. It does suck though that they get older so fast and I'm sure every parent (I know I do) worries that they will mess their kids up.

Randi said...

Boyfriend? Get yer ass to bloggin!