Thursday, October 16, 2008

Up the creek...

Well it happened. I didn't even get 5 miles down the road from work when my engine gave out. I managed to push it off into these very nice people's driveway. They're letting me keep the car there until this evening when Joe's friend is going to come tow it. To where? I don't know yet. One step at a time. Let me tell you how bad I freaked out. I was crying so hard that I started to hyperventilate. Then I threw up. Which was amazing in itself because I didn't eat a single thing yesterday from being so stressed. Then I almost passed out. Fucking ridiculous.

I frantically called Joe a million times but he never answered because he was at the bowling alley and he couldn't hear his phone. Let me tell you how terrible he felt when he saw how many times I called and heard my sobbing messages. Poor guy. So I called my friend Preston, who actually lives a lot closer than Joe does to where my car broke down. He came to my rescue and is temporarily letting me borrow his car while he drives his late model, gas guzzling, show truck around. What a great friend he is. He has no idea how grateful I am to have him as a friend. When I told Joe about it, he wanted me to thank Preston for him.

Joe and I have been talking about moving in together after the school year ended. We'd be together about a year and a half by that point, I wouldn't have to switch Ethan schools in the middle of the school year, and it's the natural progression in our relationship. However, Joe said yesterday that he thinks I should seriously consider moving in with him sooner. He feels that it's a win-win situation for both of us because I'll be able to get a lot of my bills paid off and he'll be able to see the love of his life every single day. That's a big decision for me, but I think I'm going to do it. Ethan is a very outgoing kid and can make friends very very easily. He'll adjust very well. Joe and Ethan get along famously.

So, this morning I talked to Ethan about moving in with Joe to see what his thoughts were. His first question was, "Will I be able to shoot my BB gun in the back yard?" I said, "Yes." Joe has a huge back yard with nothing but woods behind it and he's shot it there before. His next question was, "Will I have to wash my dishes there?" I said, "You'll have to rinse them off and put them in the dish washer." He then wanted to know, "Can I see my daddy the same amount that I do now?" I said, "Absolutely. Your time with daddy won't change a single bit." Then he asked, "Can I ride my bike around the neighborhood?" I said, "Of course." Followed by, "How many channels does he have on the t.v.?" I said, "I think there's like almost a thousand." He said, "Ok, it's alright with me."

A little bit later he said, "Mommy, you sure do love Joe a lot, don't you?" I said, "Yes I do, Ethan. He treats me better than anyone I've ever been with. I've waited my whole life to find a guy like him, and I've finally found him!" He asked, "Do you love him more than me?" I said, "Of course not! The love I have for Joe is different than the love I have for you, but I do not love him more than you, no." Then he wanted to know, "When I'm older and get a cell phone, will you put my number as #1 on your speed dial and move Joe's to #2?" I said, "We'll see when that time gets here. But you're not getting a cell phone for a looooong time."

God I love that kid!

Anyway, I'm a little numb emotionally today, as I cried harder than I've cried since I don't know when. Still trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do to get the money for a new/rebuilt engine. Joe's trying to help me too. I'm going to take the advice of an anonymous commenter and put up a Paypal donation button, do some begging and groveling. You can see it over to your left on the side bar. But I'll put it here too.

Any little bit will help. Thanks so much everyone for your kind words yesterday! Hope you're having a better week than I am.

Deep Throat of the Day: Where's my paddle?


Anonymous said...

well damn
that sucks girl.
It'll work out.
good luck!!

Britni said...

I would donate if I could, but alas, I am a broke ass bitch.

Yay on moving in though! That's pretty freaking exciting!

Randi said...

You have no idea how much I want to help you but I literally dropped 2 grand in the last month on my car.

Good luck though!!!!

Ron said...

It will all get better, I promise. I know you know that but it sucks right now. I did a little meditation for you this morning.

Love ya lots!!

Jim McKee said...

I gave a little... I'm thinking of the whole karma aspect, and God knows that I'll be in a bad spot someday.

I hope it gets better for ya. Hugs!!

goooooood girl said...

Feel good......

Kira said...

April, that's all so horrible. When we have a nation that makes it impossible to get around without a car (something that Alex didn't understand until he moved over here), a car dying with no money to fix it is a critical issue. That's why we have car loans out the wazoo right now--my car got old (186k miles) and needed replacement, but then Alex needed a car too to go to work, so we bought another car. But then my old car got an oil leak, the check engine light came on, and it started making protests with a loud squeel every morning when it was started. And then the locks malfunctioned, so boom, we were stuck buying another car. I'm glad you have a friend who can help you out by letting you borrow his car for a while. I hope it all works out!

I tend to never make a big decision like "move in or not move in" until I've dated at least a full year. Why? Well, after watching my ex bro in law date a girl in April, then marry by October...and have them seem so in love...and then come December she finds out he has SAD (the winter blues) and goes nuts every winter...well, a year is my cutoff! How long have you guys been dating? Have you seen him in every season? ;)