Thursday, November 13, 2008

Some FU's are in order

I'd like to give a big FUCK YOU to mother nature for making it rain. I'm 110% certain that bitch KNOWS how much that shit makes Virginians a big ol' bunch of retards when driving.

Another big FUCK YOU goes to myself for not turning my head a split second sooner and seeing the guy in front of me stop so I wouldn't have tapped his bumper going 5 mph.

A really fucking ginormous FUCK YOU to the big rig driver who was getting into MY lane regardless of who was there and caused me to tap the guys bumper.

And a big heaping pile of FUCK YOU to the guy whose bumper I tapped going 5 mph. Yes there is a very small dent and yes my insurance will pay for it completely. But when I asked you a MILLION times if you were ok and you said to me, and I quote, "Oh yeah, I'm fine. You only hit me just hard enough for me to know I'd been tapped" and then you turn around an HOUR LATER and cry that you're needing medical attention, I can't help but think that you're a lying, money grubbing, insurance frauder! Maybe after the tap so small it couldn't possibly qualify as an accident you called up that skank bitch you're married to and she made a big fuss and wants you to LIE about being injured just to line HER pockets and fill HER fat grubbing fingers with diamonds!!!! Well FUCK HER too!! I work for a chiropractor and I have seen MANY people like you come into this office trying to make something out of nothing. Well FUCK YOU again buddy!! I told the people at Geico how INSIGNIFICANT the damage was and how MY car doesn't even have a fucking DENT! And I told them that I asked you a MILLION FUCKING times if you were ok and I told them EXACTLY what you said! I took pictures of the front of my car and uploaded them to Geico so they can see the amount of damage NOT done to my car and hopefully they'll be smart enough to figure out that you're just trying to squeeze money out of them by telling LIES!! If not, then Geico will get a big FUCK YOU too!

FUCK YOU Geico lady for not finding the humor in my answer to your question about if any drugs or alcohol were taken prior to the accident. You said PRIOR which means BEFORE or PREVIOUS or EARLIER IN TIME! You did NOT specify WHEN prior, just prior. However, I knew what you meant. But I was OBVIOUSLY joking when I said, "Does the couple kilo's of coke and handfuls of ecstasy I did when I was a teenager count?" IT WAS FUNNY BITCH! YOU SHOULD'VE LAUGHED! Fucking CUNT!

And FUCK YOU Mr. Wrinkly Old 2008 Virginia Sheriff's Association Member for CLEARLY seeing that I was waiting to get in the line at the drive-thru to get my crack known as MickeyD's sweet tea, but I was nice enough to leave a space big enough between me and the car in front of me for the person who was backing out to have enough room. But NOOOOOOO your mothball smelling, shriveled up balls having ass had to not only cut in front of me but also block the car from backing out! Dried up pussy licker!

FUCK YOU to any company who outsources their call centers to the Middle East or Asia. I am fucking TIRED of attempting to speak to mother fuckers who claim their name is something American like Brittany or Mark when I know it's something that really doesn't have any vowels and all they know how to do is poorly read the bullshit on their computer screen and god FORBID you ask them a question that isn't answered on that screen!! Mother fucking cheap labor paying bastard fuck wads!

And another FUCK YOU to anyone else who deserves a FUCK YOU today. I know there's a shit ton of you fuckers out there!

Deep Throat of the Day: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Editors Note: I just found a bunch of grammatical mistakes I made and corrected them. That's what happens when I blog angry. Sorry.)


Grant said...

If possible, I prefer not to drive my car unless I can bring along a witness. A woman with a car festooned with Jesus stickers backed into me in Texas. She apologized and said it was all her fault, but when the police arrived to take our statements she decided it wasn't worth her insurance deductible to keep the 9th commandment and claimed I rear-ended her. Feckin' hypocrites.

J R Estelle said... do you really feel about today? By the way, I'm glad GA isn't the only place where people get STOOPIT (I spelled it like on purpose), when it rains.

Kira said...

You complain about the rain driving because you've lived in Florida long enough to know how to do it right. I complain when it rains in SC too for that same reason.

Sounds like a shitty day indeed!

Anonymous said...

Per usual, even though I can't put my finger on why, I probably deserve a fuck you!
So if you wanna you can gimmie one!

I reckon then your car was fixed or something right??

Sorry bout your bad day, maybe it'll get better up there.

Anonymous said...

Hey first time here...aint the F word GRAND??! I mean fuck, sometimes fuck is the only word that will suffice. Sorry about your no good very bad day.

NWJR said...

Don't hold back, now!


Britni said...

Ugh. That sucks. I'm sorry!!

JJ said...

Nice rant. Sometimes it amazes me how stupid people can be. I'm constantly impressed.

And yes, outsourced call centers fucking suck. The worst.

Randi said...

I rear ended a gal a couple months ago. Same shit, 5 mph. She never even called my insurance.
There are good people out there.

Sassy said...

I feel a lot better after reading all your fuck yous! Hope things are better now :)

Btw - that joke was fucking funny.

The Soviet said...

houston drivers suck, too. can we send them all to utah?

Jennybean said...

lol! you crack me up!