Friday, January 16, 2009

I'm in with the in crowd

I figured everyone else was being interviewed and interviewing, so I would too. So I asked Grant to interview me because I knew his twisted mind could come up with some interesting questions. I'm sure you've all read the rules on someone's blog, so I'm not going to bother to post them, but they still apply. So if you want to be interviewed just holla at a bitch. Let the festivities begin!!

1. If you could create one law to apply to all people everywhere, what would it be?
*There are several that I would create like making it illegal to lie, requiring people to get a license and psychiatric testing to have a baby, people who speed through parking lots would be shot dead on the spot, people who keep popping out kids with a handful of different baby-daddies while living off the government and not working while they drive pimped out Cadillacs with 5 inch long hideous fingernails should be forced to get a job and have their gubment checks cut off completely, celebrities would be held to a different, more strict set of laws rather than getting away with everything, everyone would have to stop being so damned sensitive when it comes to being "pc" because I'm tired of everyone getting offended over stupid bullshit, companies would no longer be able to outsource their call centers to any country where English is not the primary language, but the one that I would apply to all people living in the U.S. would be that English must be your primary language. If you move to this country from a non-English speaking country, you would be required to fluently speak and write the language within 6 months. If you don't, you go the fuck back to where you came from. There would be no more "para espanol, marke numero dos" when you called a company, no more signs saying we speak spanish in business windows, no more letters home from my sons school with one side in English and the other side in Spanish, no more enabling the Hispanics living in the U.S. to not have to learn to speak the fucking English language!!

2. What is one bit of parenting advice you wish other parents would take?
*Stop giving your kids a sense of entitlement because it's making kids act like a bunch of disrespectful assholes, teach them to respect people, teach them acceptance and tolerance, and teach them how to behave when out in public.

3. Why are Asian women so hot? (please back up your answer with pictures)
*Typically, I'm not attracted to Asian women. The main reason is because most of them are so tiny with no tits and ass. I like me some big ol' tits and ass. But I've found pictures that I know you'll love, Grant.

4. Do you believe in angels? Corollary - if so, do you also believe in demons? How about zombies and ghouls and Eskimos and leprechauns?
*I'll believe in those things when I see them. However, I'm pretty sure I've met a few demon children. The evil little bastards. And I think that Sarah Palin may have really been an Eskimo that the Republican party threw a dress and make-up on.

5. What is your favorite word and why?
*I like the words debacle and discombobulated because I feel extra cool when I say them. But I'd say that my favorite word is fuck and it's multiple forms (fucking, fucked, fucker, fuckwad, fucktard, douchefuck, assfuck, etc). Not only do I like to partake in the action of fucking, but I can use the word with just about every emotion.
Sad: "Oh no, my fucking Packers lost again. Boo Hoo!"
Angry: "That mother fucking, cock-sucking, fucker of a fuck, just stole my leg!"
Embarrassed: "Oh fuck, I can't believe I lost my fucking shoe and spilled my popcorn in front of the entire fucking theater."
Happy: "FUCK YEAH!!! I just wont tickets to go see Chelsea Lately!" <-true story.

And that's all folks. Coming soon, a toy review and another interview by Sage


Grant said...

Bunny! Although the one on the right has too much boobage. You can keep her.

April said...

I think she's wearing a push-up bra making her look like she has boobs. So you can have her back!

Anonymous said...

excellent answers! I'm with you on fuck! I say it to much if possible. I do dig asian chicks, but then I dig most all chicks if they are hot!

NWJR said...

April, you've got to stop holding back and tell us what you REALLY think!


This meme is spreading like wildfire. I've avoided it until now, WTF. Go ahead. Make my day. Interview me.

Randi said...

#2? From your blog to God's eyes.

Grant said...

Oh, and Interview Me ('cuz I have nothing interesting to say otherwise).

The Soviet said...

seriously, is chelsea lately not the best?

Amanda said...

Fuck is the best word ever.