Thursday, February 12, 2009

National Complain Day

I've unofficially deemed today, February 12th, 2009 as National Complain Day. Everyone will have the right to complain about whatever it is they want without being called a Negative Nelly, Debbie Downer, an asshole or a bitch. I'm aware that you've probably complained a million times and no one has called you those (or any other) names, at least not to your face, but it's my blog and I'm about to complain. So I figured I'd invite you all to complain with me so I don't feel left out! OK? Good. I'll start..

Every day I travel on what's called the Dulles Toll Road. It has this name because well, it's filled with toll booths. I'm going to make an educated guess and say that a good 99% of the people that are traveling on this road during rush hour times are well aware of the tolls. They know exactly where they are and how much you'll have to pay. So why is it that just about every single morning there's some fucking asswad who has to hold up the flow by digging for money while at the booth? This fucker KNEW there'd be a toll!!!! GET YOUR FUCKING MONEY READY BEFORE THE TOLL YOU DOUCHE BAG! Oh and maybe if you'd GET THE FUCK OFF YOUR PHONE you wouldn't be so oblivious to what the fuck's going on and you would've HAD your money ready. But NOOOOOO, you gotta be a DICK and fuck up the flow. Asshole.

Also every day I go through the drive-thru at MickeyD's to flood my veins with my crack known as sweet tea. Why is it that people still don't know what the fuck's on the menu at McDonald's? The menu hasn't changed too drastically pretty much since that bitch opened. And the changes that are made are broadcast in a bazillion commercials over the t.v. and radio. Unless you're living under a rock, you know what the fuck is on the menu at McDonald's. Not only that but the drive-thru is designed for FAST SERVICE. Because hey, it is fast fucking food, right? But when the assfucks who spend 10 minutes trying to decide if they want that extra slice of cheese clog up the drive-thru, I feel like getting out of my car and saying, "FUCK THE CHEESE! JUST GO ASSHOLE!" That same asshole spends another 10 minutes either looking for money or trying to decide if they want to pay with cash or credit. It also pisses me off when a caravan full of people use the drive-thru. Especially when they're all paying separately. They make fast food slower than a snail.

I would also like to complain about these damn phones which won't stop ringing. People all calling up here like this is a business or something. DAMN!

To take a small break from complaining, I would like to add that TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY!!

OK, you may resume complaining.....go ahead, it's your turn. Complain away in the comments. DO IT!!

Deep Throat of the Day: 31.............


Anonymous said...

i fuckinnnn hateeeeeee the people that stare are menu!!
goddamn is this your first time?????????????
stupid assed people.

happy birthday tomorrow!

Randi said...

Yeah that menu bullshit is unacceptable.
I hope you have the happiest of birthdays tomorrow!
Friday the 13th.... ooooh. Scary.

Grant said...

Almost every day I get stuck behind someone trying to enter the parking lot at work who doesn't know they have to swipe their security badge to get the gate to open. If you work for my company (at any location - they're all the same about security) then you should know you have to badge in. If not, why are you trying to enter our parking lot? Just as bad are the people who know they have to badge in but put their badge deep inside of their luggage-on-wheels contraption that they bring every day (because you can't spend 8 hours in a cubicle without toiletries, food, and several changes of clothes) and force everyone to wait while they dig it out. Assclowns.

Amanda said...

I hate those people at McD's. And those people who think it's cute to order in Spanish at Mexican restaurants. I hope someone is spitting in their food.

Hope you have a great birthday!!

NWJR said...

April, it's not good for your blood pressure to hold it all in, so please, let it out! Tell us how you REALLY feel! STOP HOLDING BACK, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!

But since you asked...

You know what I hate? I hate people who are miserable when I'm happy, and happy when I'm miserable. There's nothing worse than a Downer Cow when you're trying to celebrate, or a Perky Penny when you just want to wallow in your own misery.

Oh, and I hate it when people offer unsolicited advice. If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. And if I ask for it and you don't give it to me, that's just as bad.

And holes in my socks...I freaking hate how they always seem to find my toe, then it gets irritating, then sore, then I start walking funny.

I hate being lied to. I hate unresolved issues. And vinaigrette. Who decided "vinaigrette" had to go on EVERYTHING? McDonald's has VINAIGRETTE SALAD DRESSING! If I wanted to eat trendy, do you think I'd be at MC DONALD'S?

I hate that there's no Sonic, Waffle House, White Castle or Tim Horton's within a reasonable driving distance of my home.

Oh, and an ex- anything. I swear, there's nothing worse than an ex-smoker, an ex-fattie, an ex-whatever. Self-righteous jerks.

And the Jonas Brothers. I'm freaking sick of the Jonas Brothers.

Other than that, I'm a pretty happy guy.

NWJR said...

Oh, and happy birthday. By my clock, I'm about 20 minutes early, but I'll be going nighty-night soon.

I hate it when people say things like "nighty-night".

Britni said...

Happy birthday!

I will complain about the fact that I have been hungover for 48 hours and don't know why I insist on doing this to myself. But I still do it anyway. Motherfucker.

Anonymous said...

Happppppppyyyyyyyyy Birthdayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Amber said...

Happy Birthday to you :o)

I Smile 2 Much said...

Just wanted to come by & wish you a very Happy Birthday April!!!! :) Hope you enjoy a good 1.

Oh and btw, NWJR's comments cracked me the hell up. Just sayin' :)

J R Estelle said...

Here in GA, our toll road is GA 400, it's like a fucking raceway because it's 10 lanes going in, tapering to 4, quickly coming out and people who DO NOT have their money's FIFTY CENTS - you know this!