Thursday, September 03, 2009

Tall talker

There is a guy friend of mine who I've somewhat talked about before in this post. He's the one who supposedly really liked a girl who informed him right before they were about to get it on that she has herpes. He claims he never slept with her. He just couldn't imagine putting his precious member near that. Also, he claimed that it immediately went limp and was useless. So even if he wanted to bang her, he couldn't, or so he says.

I use the words "supposedly" and "claimed" because he is THAT guy. You know, THAT guy who is constantly telling stories that make himself look like a stud. He's THAT guy who is the "one-upper" kinda guy. He's THAT guy who has sex with the most gorgeous, freakest women on the planet. Often times with more than one at a time. He's THAT guy who has the "hottest girl at the party" just throwing her panties at him and BEGGING him to fuck her RIGHT NOW! He's THAT guy who has 2 hot women at bars fighting over who is going to go home with him. He's THAT guy who is THE BEST person doing his job in his office region. He's THAT guy who makes the most money, does the best, is the best, has the best and makes sure you know it.

He actually briefly dated a friend of mine. Before he knew that I knew her, he concocted this elaborate story about how he met her. He told me that he was going to a meeting and saw this hottie standing outside of the building smoking a cigarette. He went inside, had his meeting, then when walking back outside, she was still standing there. She approached him and told him that she'd been waiting there for him to come back out so she could ask him if he wanted to grab a cup of coffee with her. He said, "Better yet, why don't we do dinner tonight at 8? But don't answer me now, here's my card. Call me if you're interested." He said she called him, of course.

Turns out, they met via Yahoo personals. AND? My friend doesn't even smoke!! That's how I found out he had lied. I sent her an IM and was like, "When did you start smoking?" She was all, "What?" Yeah, so when I called him out on it, he claimed that he was embarrassed to tell me that he'd met someone through online personals. OK, I can understand that, but why make up this whole elaborate story which makes you look like you're some debonair, irresistible God? He is NOT all that. He's most definitely NOT a guy who would have copious amounts of women flinging their panties in his direction.

All of his stories are like that. As a matter of fact, things didn't work out between he and my friend. Just last month he told me, "I sent [my friend] an email today. I bet you I'm having dinner with her by Saturday." He did her wrong so I was not going to let that happen. I sent her a text and told her of his evil plan. No dinner with her for him. BWAHAHAHA!

Anyway, I'm writing all of this because I want to know if you guys have any "friends" like this? If so, please tell me an unbelievable story they've told you. I love hearing these stories because they give me a good laugh.

Deep Throat of the Day: I can't get this first image out of my head. SO SEXY!!

15 comments:

f1trey said...

omg..what a way to land one someones blog..... hehehehe

The Lily said...

*snerk*

Southern Sage said...

dang when you were first describing him and the panties being flung at him and all that I thought you were talking about me!!!!

hehehehehe

Jim McKee said...

My ex threw her panties at me once... of course, I was loading the washer at the time...

;-]

Grant said...

I have no current friends like that, but I do remember one guy in high school who always bragged about getting laid. He decided to take me with him one night. He had no plan, I just drove him from house to house looking for the girls he deemed slutty enough to have sex with us on request. None were home (probably out riding around looking for us), so at the end of the night he announced "I'm telling everyone tomorrow that we got laid. We definitely put in the effort." He probably grew up to be the guy you know.

And that picture is not hot, she looks like she's squatting down to take a dump. If you're into that thing, hey, I'm not judging. I think you're a nasty freak now, but otherwise, hey, I'm not judging. :p

Unknown Stalker said...

I know someone who, according to him, met the most amazing woman ever without even trying. According to him she was with out a doubt the hottest, sexiest, sanest girl anyone had ever met. He said he was picking bitches up on Craig's List and this one feel right into his laptop. They went out and had dinner and a few drinks and the next thing he knew she was throwing her panties at him. She is now madly in love with him and according to him will do ANYTHING to please him. Sounds like a bunch of BS to me. What do you think?

Barefoot Dreamer said...

oh that last comment.. hmmmm ...

love that V's pic is stuck in your head :) makes you wanna have her clean something around your own house doesn't it ;)

Hubman said...

I think we all know someone who is "that guy", unfortunately...

You can't get the image of my wife out of your head? hehe

f1trey said...

why cant i find the follow button on your blog other than the fact im stupid....

f1trey said...

why cant i find the follow button on your blog other than the fact im stupid....

f1trey said...

sorry...just used to "followung" folks so i can keep up!! thanks for the kind words...ssshhh i wont tell anyone if you dont....

Another Suburban Mom said...

Well thank you! Does that mean you want me to come over and clean your windows.

I also hate the bragger bs artist.

R said...

I don't get laid any more so I feel completely unqualified to comment on this post with anything resembling credibility.

The Soviet said...

april, dear, which of my millions of bullshit stories my ex told me would you like to hear? ;)

xoxo.

Amanda said...

That would be my ex-friend, and her stories deserve their own Lifetime series.